So slay me

I have, as I’ve admitted repeatedly, never seen or read “Twilight.” I just couldn’t quite wrap my mind around the idea of a Mormon housewife writing a not-so bodice ripper about a chaste, sparkly vampire who obsesses stalks falls for a human girl. That said, I certainly don’t begrudge anyone who enjoys the series. And I don’t begrudge that Mormon housewife. Get down with your bad, not-getting-down self, lady. But what I don’t and will probably never understand is the phenomena that is “Twilight.” OK, sure, it’s the star-crossed Romeo & Juliet story told with vampires and without the unfortunate drinking of poison or stabbing of one’s bosoms. But I guess what I really want to know is, um, why? Why this vampire story? Why this fangmance?

And, more importantly, why not “Buffy the Vampire Slayer?” Sure, Buffy had its fans – its wonderful, loyal, equally-crazed fans. But Buffy was always more of a cult show; a series enjoyed by those in the know. And, clearly, David Boreanaz is dreamy and all, but I don’t think his mere presence caused 13-year-old girls to practically self-immolate in a firestorm of squeals. I mean, the show was on the WB (back when they had a frog as a logo) and the UPN (back when, well, when UPN existed) for God’s sake! Perhaps (and very likely) I’m just in the wrong demographic to understand. Though, I’ve seen more than a few of my female married-with-children co-workers toting around the books slavishly. So, to make a long, rambling questioning of the universe somewhat shorter:

What does this have?That this doesn’t?

Oh, and just for the record, Buffy would totally, totally have kicked Edward’s ass. No contest. End of story. Seriously, put a stake in it.

p.s. Buffy also had Willow. Nerdy. Lesbian. Witch. Enough said.