Bea screwed up

Every night this week I’ve taken unplanned naps after I’ve come home from work. I’m not entirely sure what my body’s trying to tell me, but I feel it’s something important. Something like, hey – idiot – get some sleep. While I figure it out (and perhaps take another nap), please enjoy those girls who are golden. The first blooper is my favorite because, really, who doesn’t love a little Freudian slip?

Lezzing it up with Betty White

Oh, Betty White. Marry me. Or, if you think the age difference is too much for us to overcome, just come over to my house and tell me lesbian jokes every day. “Saturday Night Live” was something it hasn’t been in ages – funny from start to finish. Hostess with the mostest Betty White was everything you could have wanted – hilarious, charming, warm, potty mouthed. All that and playing backup was the Dream Team of Female Comics of former cast greats Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Ana Gasteyer, Molly Shannon and Rachel Dratch. Hell, even the patently unfunny MacGruber skits were funny thanks to Betty. Oh, Betty. You were the best reason possible to stay home and lez this weekend.

“My muffin hasn’t had a cherry since 1939.”


“You’re barking up the wrong lesbian.”


“That’s definitely a homeless guy in a fur coat.”


“Thank you for being a friend.”

I could not love that woman and her dusty muffin more.

My Weekend Crush

I would like Betty White to live forever. I really don’t think it’s too much to ask. At 88, she seems more vibrant, sassy and hilarious than a considerable number of people half – or even a third – of her age. Betty is a constant reminder that there is no age limit on talent. All you need to write your ticket is to be smart and funny and love what you do enough to keep trying. When Betty’s career accomplishments were listed during her Lifetime Achievement Award presentation at the SAG awards last weekend, they seemed to span the history of television. We all know about her amazing work on the “The Golden Girls” and “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.” But she had not one, not two but three shows call “The Betty White Show,” and since the 50s she has guested on so many shows it boggles the mind. But that she has appeared is one thing, that she made an impression is another. Her saucy spirit and ribald rhetoric is instantly recognizable. And that, surely, will live forever. Happy weekend, all.