Tank Top Tuesday

Seeing the old, crazy, horse-loving Angelina yesterday got me feeling nostalgic. Sure, we all respect the new St. Angelina of the United Colors of Benetton. But, let’s face it, it’s the knife collection flaunting, blood-vial wearing, wet T-shirt wearing wild child we fell in love with in the first place. And you always remember your first. So today I thought I’d mix a little trip down memory lane with my tank tops. Here’s to some ladies who make me long for the good old days.

Drew BarrymoreI miss the old, crazy, Dave-flashing Drew, too.

Courtney CoxPlease let “Cougartown” be more funny, loveably neurotic Monica and less cold, dour Dirtmonger Lucy.

Katie HolmesThe robot masquerading as Katie will always, always make me sad.

Lauren GrahamGet this woman back on my TV. Now.

Erin DanielsSee above. Seriously.

Sarah Michelle GellarWild horses couldn’t drag me to see the new Joss-less, Scooby-less Buffy.

Danica McKellarI love it that Winnie Cooper grew up to be a math genius. And hot.

My Weekend Crush

When I look back on my favorite childhood shows, I realize now that my nascent sexuality had me more tuned into the female stars than the male leads. Think Denise Huxtable over Theo, Angela Chase over Jordan Catalano, and last – but by no means least – Winnie Cooper over Kevin Arnold. On “The Wonder Years,” Winnie was possibly the most adorable girl next door in the history of adorable girls next door. And, deep down, I just knew Danica McKellar would grow up to be a smoking hottie. But, no one could have guessed just how hot and how smart. Like crazy-math-genius smart. Like crazy-math-genius, summa-cum laude-degree-from-UCLA , mathematics-theorem-named-after-her smart. (It’s the Chayes-McKellar-Winn Theorem for those who like to do a little math in their spare time.) In 2005, Danica showed us the hot part of her equation with a Stuff photo shoot. I warn you, clicking may cause you to lose any and all mathematic ability. I have no idea what 2+2 equals right now. None. Then, this week those snarktastic Fug Girls reminded me again that had Danica been my next-door neighbor, my childhood would have been so much more, uh, stimulating. Oh, and that Kevin Arnold was an idiot. Happy weekend, all.