A lock of thy jet-black tresses

So I was sick in bed all of yesterday. Like coughy, hacky, snotty, headachey, icky sick. I sort of went in and out of consciousness, trying to write this week’s Rizzoli & Isles Subtext Recap (which is a day late due to sickness, but should be up a little later today at AfterEllen with my apologies). Let me tell you, it went slowly. Also, if I hadn’t had work to finish, what I would have done was drag my drugged-up little body to the couch to watch my complete set of “Anne of Green Gables” DVDs. It seemed like such an Anne day. Alas, duty called. But today, I can at least share a little of what I really wanted to do, the way I really wanted to see it. Anne of Green Gables: Brokeback Mountain Style. Such a queer little girl, that Anne Shirley.

Her queer little ways

Every now and then your childhood sneaks up and reminds you where you came from. In the midst of the mundane task of retrieving the mail yesterday, between the bills, bank statements and other banal reminders of adulthood was a time capsule. My “Anne of Green Gables” DVD set finally arrived, a belated Christmas gift from my mother. I’d forgotten they were coming, a function of falling too quickly back into the frazzled schedule of work and grown-up demands. But there they were, waiting patiently for me to remember. And remember I did.

I own all the books, of course. They sit neatly in a place of honor on my bookshelf, worn from time and hours of reading into the darkness of the night. L.M. Montgomery was my J.K. Rowling. I have almost everything ever bound and stamped with her name – Anne, Emily, Pat, Rilla and an endless assortment of short anthologies of occasionally questionable quality. But those I read on my own. I watched the series on TV with my family. I became obsessed with visiting Prince Edward Island (which I eventually convinced them to do one summer vacation) while watching the series on TV with my family. . I fell in love with Megan Follows (albeit unbeknownst to them, and me at the time) while watching the series on TV with my family.

This series, the one I now held in my hand. I’m not sure what took me so long to buy them. OK, they’re a tad pricey and I’m a tad cheap. Also the complete set didn’t come out until 2008. Someone in a drawer somewhere in my parents’ house gathering dust I have the complete series on VHS, recorded lovely from repeats on PBS. (OK, not “The Continuing Story” because – come on – those weren’t even based on the books). I had to fight the urge to put them on immediately and watch them back-to-back-to-back for an unending loop of spectacular sunsets along red sand beaches. But I didn’t. Work, bills, adulthood stood in the way.

But don’t worry, I will find the time. I must. Anne with an e was my hero growing up, with her smarts and spunk. She was an orphan who survived on the sheer force of her imagination, a dreamer, a thinker, a romantic, a kindred spirit. She was stubborn and prone to getting into scrapes. She was the best bosom friend a little girl could have – for Diana Barry and the rest of us. I look forward to spending time with her again soon. We have so much to catch up on after all these years.

Where you go I will Follows

Research is really a wonderful thing. Some people like to take shortcuts, but I believe in doing things the old-fashioned way. Hence last night I spent untold hours looking up actresses in lesbian guest appearances to prove my Lesbian Rule of Threes, a totally not fake theory I did not just make up after having a cocktail or two last night. Read all about it later on AfterEllen today. Suffice it to say I was scanning old clips to make my case when I stumbled across this one I had tucked away. To be fair, the great and powerful ScribeGrrrl tipped me off to it in the first place. I believe things like this are are why the internet was invented.

Yes, that is Megan Follows playing totally gay on “ER.” Yes, I know, OH MY GOD! Now, unless you were one of those “Little House on the Prairie” girls, everyone knows Megan Follows was Anne Shirley, as in “Anne of Green Gables.” I am now going to allow 15 seconds for the 10-year-old in all of you to freak out and possibly squeal.

This of course led me to more research while led me to the conclusion that I am not the only person who daydreamed about Anne and Diana being Bosom Friends with benefits. Come on, who calls their best friend their “bosom” anything? Gay ladies, that’s who. All that hand holding, all that kissing on the lips, all that professing of love. Think I’m kidding? Research doesn’t lie.

Megan Follows is one of my earliest and my most enduring crushes. That red hair, those freckles, that spunk. Did you know she turned 42 last week? Yeah, I’m not sure how I feel about that either. But I do know that I will always be at least a little in love with Megan, and now so much more that she once played a big old lesbian. Talk about your kindred spirits.

Vacation Vixens

Anne Shirley and Diana Barry totally hooked up.

My Weekend Crush

Growing up, one actress was the most spunky, the most scrappy, the most Shirley -- Anne Shirley, that is. Megan Follows was the perfect Anne of Green Gables. As a young girl, my love for L.M. Montgomery’s books was insatiable. I had the entire Anne (with an e) series, the entire Emily series, both Pat books, countless short stories and assorted random novels. In fact, I still have them all on my bookshelf. I even made my family vacation on Prince Edward Island one summer. So when the Canadian adaptation came out on PBS, I sat rapt as Anne, Marilla, Matthew and Gilbert Blythe (to this day, I have to say his first and last name together) came to rich, vibrant life. There was the red sand of P.E. Island. There was the charming, gabled farmhouse. There was the carpetbag-totting orphan with long, red braids.

As Anne matured in the series, Megan seemed to magically mature from girl to woman before our eyes. I’m pretty sure my affinity for red-heads can be traced back to her. Not to mention freckles. I always hoped Megan would find continued stardom after she was done being that Anne girl. And while she has kept busy acting, particularly in her native Canada, Megan hasn’t had the breakout success stateside that she so deserves. Ironically, part of the problem is probably people like me who have never let her leave Green Gables. But Megan should be heartened by the fact that she will forever be a kindred spirit, a bosom friend, to girls (and grown up girls like me) everywhere. Happy weekend, all.