Design time

Have you all just gone and completely lost your minds? That's right, The Terminator is back. No, not Ah-nold. Or Kristiana. Or even Summer. We're talking about Julia, Julia Sugarbaker. Now, for the young'uns and uninitiated among us, this name will probably elicit a blank stare. But for those of us geriatric enough and in the know, this name elicits a heady mix of carnal and cerebral lust. You see, Julia was the original (albeit straight) Alpha Bette, minus the fidelity issues and plus a Southern accent.

So, then imagine my delight when I heard the Julia & Co. were finally coming to DVD on May 26. Shout! Factory, the fine folks who put out the fabulous new “My So-Called Life” DVD set in 2007, are giving the first season of “Designing Women” the box set treatment it deserves, complete with an extra reunion special featuring stars Delta Burke, Dixie Carter, Annie Potts, Jean Smart and series creator Linda Bloodworth-Thomason.

I watched “Designing Women” obsessively in college courtesy the wonder that was seemingly non-stop repeats on Lifetime, television for women. Like a younger, sassier, Southerner “Golden Girls,” the show was wonderful for so many reasons. What I loved most about “Designing Women” – besides, of course, its portrayal of close, loving and rich female friendships – was that it played with our preconceived notions of the Southern Belle. Sure, Julia, Suzanne, Mary Jo and Charlene were all archetypes, but they worked hard not to fall into stereotypes. They never shied away from controversy: racism, sexism, homophobia, you name it. And, lordy, they were funny. And fabulous. And fierce. But none were fiercer than Julia. A look at some of The Terminator's greatest hits.

The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia


As God Is My Witness


I Suggest You Try Finding Yourself an Oyster


If God Was Giving Out Sexually Transmitted Diseases


History Has Shown

p.s. This one isn't The Terminator, but it does include my favorite fictitious store name of all time: Georgia Tent & Awning.

Alpha ladies

So last night while researching my AfterEllen post, I came to the startling realization that Julia Sugarbaker and Bette Porter could be sisters. OK, not actual fictional sisters because Julia already has Suzanne and Bette already has Kit, among other issues. But in mind, body and spirit, they’re in complete solidarity. I don’t know how I didn’t see the parallels before. Julia is a fierce, fabulous, feminist Southern Belle whose nickname is The Terminator. Bette is a fabulous, fierce, feminist L.A. Woman whose nickname is Alpha Bette. And, if you think about it, Julia is the original Alpha Bette -- the Alpha Julia. Hear them go off on side-by-side rants and the result is a whole lotta woman, in the best possible sense.

Alpha Julia

Alpha Bette