SGALGG: Blame it on the Riviera

Monday. Work. Blah. So instead, let’s transport – if only briefly – to the south of France. A place where the carpet is red and the stars are beautiful. Before I leave this mortal coil, I would like – if only just once – to attend the Cannes Film Festival. It seems rather glamorous and extravagant, to conditions I normally try to avoid at all cost. But there’s just something so lovely about the way the movie stars look bathed in the flash of bulbs in the French Riviera. It’s just irresistible. Also irresistible, a little Cannes SGALGG. Ladies. Together. Yum. Happy Monday, mon petit chou.

Eva Longoria & Aishwarya RaiSomehow these ladies became special friends at Cannes this year posing not once, but twice together. France is magic that way.

Naomi Watts & Lucy PunchThe two ladies co-star in Woody Allen’s latest, “You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger.” I’m not sure if I’ll see the movie, but I know I’d love to see Naomi plants one on Lucy, like she appears to be about to here.

Evangeline Lilly & Michelle YeohDon’t these two look like they’re going to run off together and elope? Hey, what can I say, I have a very active imagination.

Nicole Laliberte & Haley BennettI have no idea who these two women are, but no additional imagination is needed to turn this SGALGGy. None at all.

Cate BlanchettThis is an entirely different kind of SGALGG – Straight Gal Acting Like a Gorgeous Gal. Which, of course, Cate is.

Catherine DeneuveAnytime you can post a picture of Ms. Deneuve, you should. Period.

Not ready for this jelly

NEWS FLASH: Eva Longoria is not, repeat NOT, starring in a lesbian movie with Beyoncé Knowles. You are, however, still allowed to stare at the picture above and imagine your own movie in your head. Oh, and, I told you so.

Desperate Lesbians: Ring the (suspicious) alarm

So, I have to comment on the internet rumors that have been swirling all weekend about Eva Longoria and Beyoncé Knowles rocking each other’s jelly in an American adaptation of “Tipping the Velvet.” Am I the only one whose first response was, "Huh?!?" The report sounds at best extremely suspicious (like some horny guy was paging through Maxim and though, “You know who I’d love to see play lesbians!”) and at worst terribly miscast (Who would be Nan? Who would be Kitty? Who would wear the leather dildo!?!). This would supposedly come from the refined eye of Sofia Coppola (who I’ve carried a torch for since “Lost in Translation”). Sofia’s presence in this scenario is the only one that makes any sense, and only if you cock your head and squint. As a bitter, I mean seasoned, media watcher, I’m taking this with a whole shaker of salt.