All who wander are not Lost

So, how about that “Lost Girl” this season? I have to say, it has been a bit of a roller coast ride. Some weeks it’s just the epitome of everything I love about this show – the sexy, the action, the pathos, the sexy some more. And then some weeks it feels like wallowing knee-deep in angst. It’s like we’ve stumbled into a video for “Smells Like Succubus Spirit” or something. She is sad because Dyson left her. She is sad because Lauren left her. Emo Bo is emo, we get it. Poor Anna Silk should put in for hazard pay for all the premature wrinkles her scowling this season will surely cause.

But I think what’s irked me most is the inconsistent writing for Lauren. Now, I give the show mad respect for making her character more prominent in the second season. They obviously saw what fans responded to in the first season and responded accordingly. Still the very thing that made so many of us fall in love with Dr. Hotpants in the first place (well, besides how hot pants and other things look on her, that is) is her calm, loyal, gentle personality. One look into those big, soulful, brown eyes and we were all goners. Goners I say.

So much of that is Zoie Palmer herself, who elevated a relatively small role into total fan worship status. Yet somehow this season we’ve gotten two Laurens. The one we know and love. The calm, loyal, gentle Lauren. And the cold, insensitive, unthinking Lauren. It was the last Lauren we saw last week, when Nadia woke up and even though she told Bo she loved her and even though she told Bo she couldn’t have gotten through the past year without her and even though she and Bo had crazy hot sex, she didn’t bother to pick up the phone and say, “Hey, my girlfriend woke up!” Nope, she just walked right into Bo’s birthday party, hand-in-hand, with her coma-free girlfriend and proceeded to give Bo a steel death star as a present. Just throw it right into her heart why don’t ya, Lauren?

This inconsistency actually annoys me more than the Doccubus Interruptus Nadia’s arrival represents. Don’t get me wrong. I want Bo and Lauren to get together, end up together, spend hours upon hours on primetime television peeling tank tops off each other together. But I understand that in TV it’s not always best to get couples together right away. If I’ve learned anything from my misspent youth it is that there are always obstacles to true love that must be overcome. (Though, come on writers, we can’t get more than one good Doccubus boinking scene before you pull the rug out from under them? We’ve been so patient. We ask for so little.)

Still, I haven’t come anywhere near giving up hope. We are only half way through this second season. There’s plenty of time left for good (and hopefully sexy) things to happen. And while we’re waiting, writers, please feel free to let Bo get her sexyback on this season. Preferably with Lauren, obviously. But it’s been a bit of a dry spell for our favorite Succubus. How about you let those blue eyes blaze? And, if you need any other volunteers, trust me, I know about 10 gajillion lesbians who’d happily volunteer to die with a smile on their faces. Sucking face never looked so good.

p.s. Did I mention I’m interviewing both Zoie and Anna this week? Yeah, not a terrible week to be me.

Lost get it on

Right, so I actually had another perfectly delovely and delightful post planned for today. But you know what? It’s my birthday, so I’m going to obsess about sexy Doccubus time if I want to. And oh, how much sexy times there was to obsess about. Now, pop on over to AfterEllen a little later today and we’ll talk about the whole episode in the Lost Girl SnapCap. But right now, right now I just want to talk about the sex. I know, so shockingly out of character for me to skip right to the naughty bits.

But here is the thing about Bo and Lauren. Their sex scenes have been perfect. Too long in the coming? Yes. The slowest slow boil ever? Yes. Excruciating in their sexual tension? Yes, yes, God yes. But once they finally arrived? Perfect, just perfect. And here is why. While we’ve only had two all too brief sex scenes between our favorite bisexual succubus and her favorite human doctor, they’ve shown progress. Real, natural, organic, sexy as hell progress. Shall I dissect further? Of course I shall.

In their first love scene, it went how first times often go. It was tender, and a tad tentative. First times are exploratory missions, about finding one’s footing and making a good impression. Passion mixed with wonder. Like, whoa, is this really happening? Yes, this is really happening. Like, you know, this.

But then the second time, the second time went how second times often go. It was hot, and all hunger. Second times are singularly minded, about getting off and damning all niceties. Desire mixed with impatience. Like, why the fuck are these clothes here? Get these fucking clothes off immediately if not sooner. Like, you know, this.

But do you know what else makes Bo and Lauren’s second time so perfect? It wasn’t just the delicious, delicious tearing off of each other’s clothes to get to the juicy center. And the thing where Bo pulls Lauren back to her by her thighs. Her thighs. It was that kiss Bo gives a sleeping Lauren on the cheek. That gentle little moment tells us it’s not just sex. Not just a booty call. Not just a medicinal romp. It’s something more. Something special. Something like love. Now don’t fuck this up, Nadia. Or I swear I will have your cryogenically frozen ass turned into a popsicle.

p.s. Anyone else happily surprised by how much of a top our reserved Dr. Hotpants is? Also, how nicely her topping behavior shows off them guns? Go get ’er, cowgirl.

Making up for Lost time

On Tumblr, those delightful kids have this meme where they compare expectation to reality. Expectation is always something amazinglyawesomekickasssexy. Reality is decidedly more disappointing. And, in a way, the same meme could be applied to this season of “Lost Girl.” Expectation and reality have clashed a bit. Many fans have grumbled, myself included, about the prolonged mopey teenage pining Bo has done over the end of her relationship with Dyson. I did not tune in to see a heartsick emo succubus. I tuned in to see an amazinglyawesomekickasssexy succubus going all badass and blue-eyed on the baddies (and sometimes also the goodies). I did not tune in for Dawson’s Fae.

Some of you have worried that the lovesick, less sexy Bo is because SyFy has picked up the series for U.S. air. Producers swore at Comic-Con over the summer that SyFy hadn’t asked for any naughty scene cuts (just a few naughty word bleeps). But, indeed, it could be a case of self censoring. The show has been tamer. It could also be a function of story. A lot of her sexytimes last season were with wolfboy and now they’re no longer together. Access problems can be a real thing, people.

But I think some of the problem may also just be growing pains. The series had a considerable growth spurt between its first and second seasons, expanding from 13 episodes to 22 episodes. So perhaps that extension has slowed down the storytelling. At this point last year we would have been almost half way through the season. Now we’re barely a fourth of the way in. They’d never have been able to stretch out a breakup like this last season, that’s for sure.

Still I am keeping the faith that our expectation and reality when it comes to “Lost Girl” will meet not just in the middle, but nearer the amazinglyawesomekickasssexy side very, very soon. If the last episode and its excruciation sexual tension between Lauren and Bo are any indication, we could be in for something good. Really, really good. That boob graze is a perfect surrogate for all of our lust. We want our Doccubus and we want it now. And if we don’t get some, well, then I will be the first to call unfair Docc Block on the show and its frustrating of our fangirl fantasies.

Look, “Lost Girl,” we can be patient. But we won’t wait forever. Give us the good stuff. And by good stuff, I mean some Dr. Hotpants pants dropping. Preferably this Sunday. Preferably every Sunday.

p.s. Don’t forget to check in every Tuesday on AfterEllen for your friendly neighborhood Lost Girl SnapCaps.

A week without gay

All my gay or should-be-gay shows are on break or on mini-hiatus this week. It’s very distressing. “Warehouse 13,” “Lost Girl,” “Rizzoli & Isles,” “Pretty Little Liars,” “Glee.” Where has the gay gone? Instead I’ve been forced to sit through a long, dry week without their gay charms. Thank heavens for the budding subtext on “2 Broke Girls” or I’d be totally awash in heterosexuality. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Some of my best friends are heterosexual. But I wish they wouldn’t, you know, flaunt it on the TV and everything. I mean, they can be whoever they want in private, I don’t know why they have to be so out there. Sheesh. Though, in times like these, I turn to the light for salvation. And by “light,” I of course mean fanvids on YouTube. They are like a lighthouse guiding all our missing ships back to safety.

Bless you, fangirls. Bless you and your Final Cut Pro very much for getting me through these terribly dull waters.

Warehouse 13

Even Hitler isn’t over the finale yet, people. Hitler.

Lost Girl

I swear to faeking God, if Bo and Lauren don’t at least kiss next episode I am going to explode from the sexual tension and then send the “Lost Girl” writers the clean-up bill.

Rizzoli & Isles

Nov. 28 still feels a million years away. Someone please kiss my nose with a giant stuffed teddy bear and make it all better.

Pretty Little Liars

I’ve decided I don’t ship Emily with Maya or Paige or Samara. I ship Emily with Hanna. Because those two, those two actually have chemistry together – onscreen and off.

Glee

It feels naughty to ship a threesome. The good kind of naughty.

In fandom we trust. You’re always there for us, always.

TV, take me away

Right, so I’m watching a lot of TV this season. Fine, I watch a lot of TV every season. But this season I’m watching it with slightly more productive intentions. As I’ve already mentioned, I’m going to be writing SnapCaps (short, snappy recaps) on AfterEllen for “Lost Girl.” The second one went up yesterday. In addition, I’ll be SnapCapping “Ringer” (second one is up today) and “Prime Suspect” (it airs Thursdays, Snap Caps will post Fridays). That’s a lot of writing about TV. It’s tricky writing about new shows because, well, they’re new and as we’re trying to figure them out they’re trying to figure themselves out. So, to summarize, I’m a busy girl sitting on my couch, per usual.

Of course, this being the new TV season, I’m also trying out a lot of show I’m not writing about either. So far I’ve sampled three other new shows: “The Secret Circle” (“The Craft,” but with less goth accessories), “2 Broke Girls” (I laughed more than I expected to, in spite of myself) and “New Girl” (Let’s face it, Zooey Deschanel is the draw here, I could give a flip about her three male roommates). I am on the fence about “Up All Night,” because while I love the cast another show about parenting being crazy really is not on this gal’s big gay agenda. And the reviews of “Charlie’s Angels” are worse than the reviews of “Bionic Woman,” and we all know how well that show went. I’ve also decided against “The Playboy Club” (even with the real and the pretend gay bunnies) and “Pan Am” because even if you put it in a nice 60s suit and beautiful retro dress, sexism isn’t really my favorite thing to watch on TV. (p.s. On that note, I’m glad to hear the makers of “Prime Suspect” have decided to veers away from the blatant sexism in the pilot after this week.) There are a handful of other shows I’m considering adding to my dance card, but considering the returning shows I already watch, that’s a really freaking full dance card.

I guess all of this is a long and somewhat winded (though mostly because I’m out of shape from sitting on my couch and watching all this TV) way of saying I hope you’ll watch TV along with me this season and share your thoughts on all the shows I’ll both be SnapCapping and any other shows that catch your eye. But just because it’s a new season don’t think for a second I’ve forgotten about old friends. Yes, kittens, I miss Jane and Maura, too. But don’t worry. They’ll be back for five more in November. Until then, please enjoy Det. Rizzoli’s new (and very NSFW) ringtone for Dr. Isles.

EDIT: Every once in a while, actual comments get caught in the automatic Blogger spam filter. This usually happens with comments that contain dirty words or are really long. I hardly check the filter, because frankly I forget it is there. But, rest assured, I do not delete any comments (save for obvious spam or blatant hate speech). Also, this post is about scripted shows. Though I did watch DWTS and commented on it quite a bit on my Twitter feed. So follow me there for my thoughts on DWTS.

My Weekend Crush

Anna Silk is many things. Beautiful. Badass. Bold. Have I mentioned badass already? It’s like Mary Louise Parker had a younger sister who was raised by the world’s most polite Canadian biker gang. The star of the supernatural series “Lost Girl” is also unwaveringly wonderful to her fans, particularly all us crazy gay ladies who keep demanding more hot Doccubus action. Some of those fans fondly remember her from her same-sex smoochery on the Canadian comedy “Being Erica.” On “Lost Girl,” her bisexual succubus heroine Bo follows in the grand tradition of Buffy. A young woman bestowed with supernatural powers who takes up her mantel somewhat reluctantly. But then, once she embraces her strength, look out bad guys – there’s a new sheriff in town and she wears a lot of leather.

Those unfamiliar with the Canadian series will get a chance to see it from the beginning when SyFy starts airing it early next year. But those of us who are already hooked (and those of us outside of Canada who are watching along through methods we will not mention) know it’s one of TV’s most delightful new addictions. Supernatural craziness, mythological baddies and one very appealing Dr. Hotpants. What more could a gal want? In fact, I love this show so much I’m going to start writing SnapCaps (short, snappy recaps with an accompanying SnapGraph) each week for the rest of the season. You can catch up today on AfterEllen (should post in a bit) with a “Story So Far” SnapCap. And then starting next week expect fresh, feisty “Lost Girl” SnapCaps every Tuesday. I cannot wait. Bring it, Anna. Happy weekend, all.

My Weekend Crush

It would be easy to love Zoie Palmer just for her portrayal of the beautiful, soulful Dr. Lauren Lewis on “Lost Girl.” Those soft, searching brown eyes. The earnestness and eagerness of her human doctor indentured to a supernatural world. And, yes, the Hotpants. In a show full of strange and super-powered creatures, she is its quiet human heart. Lauren and Bo’s relationship is why I started watching “Lost Girl” and Zoie is one of the biggest reasons I fell in love with the show. She is Dr. Hotpants, how could you not? But you could always tell that under than serious demeanor something else was lurking, just dying to get out. You saw it in each deliciously sly smirk. And after last weekend’s “Lost Girl” cast appearance at Fan Expo in Canada, we all know why, too. Behind that Cheshire grin lies a total smartass.



First she delighted Team Lauren fans by saying she strategically placed herself between Anna Silk (Bo) and Kris Holden-Ried (Dyson). And then there was her dead-pan response of “Me” to the question, “What is it about Lost Girl that has this kind of universal appeal?” And when talking about how the Bo-Lauren relationship was portrayed she said it was important that “it wasn’t just, like, two chicks getting it on – which I hope you enjoy.” (See the whole panel here.) With any luck once the show premieres on Canada’s Showcase this Sunday we’ll begin to see more of that side of her in Lauren, as the producers has promised to peel back a few layers of the enigmatic Dr. Lewis this season. If we’re even luckier, the writers will make good on the promise of the “Lost Girl” season 2 promo posters that tout Lauren as “The Lover.” Oh Canada, bring on the Doccubus. Happy weekend, all.

What time is it?

My God, have I missed “Lost Girl.” In 10 days TV’s best (fine, only) story about a bisexual succubus will be back for more fae-tastic adventures. Now, I’ve talked about my not-so-secret love of this Canadian delicacy before. And I’ve waxed eloquent about what I love about its stars Anna Silk (Mary-Louise Parker doppelganger + leather) and Zoie Palmer (soulful smirk + hotpants) and the hot doccubus action. But the dirty little secret I haven’t shared is that I also enjoy that this show is quite possibly TV’s most reliable deliverer of a little thing I like to call “Boobs O’Clock.”



What, pray tell, is Boobs O’Clock? Well, you know, it’s not really something that can be explained adequately in words. Mere syllables do not do this very special time of day justice. In fact, it’s less a time and more of a state of mind – dirty mind. Please allow Bo herself to demonstrate Boobs O’Clock.

Right, so, does that clear things up? No, still confused. Right, well perhaps a little repetition will help.

Ah-ha. Now you’re grasping the concept. Grasping. Get it? Oh, never mind.

Oh, Canada. Oh, Sept. 4. It’s about that time again. Let’s do this.

That final frontier

This is the story of how I accidentally became a sci-fi fan. I say accidentally because – truth be told – I never really liked sci-fi that much growing up. Sure, I loved “Star Wars.” But “Star Wars” isn’t so much science fiction as it is fairy tale complete with princesses, rouges, black-clad villains and teddy bears (the Ewoks were teddy bears, right?). I never got into “Star Trek” (please note, I am not denigrating “Star Trek.” Live long and prosper, Trekkers). Basically, I stayed away from almost every show with “Star” in the title. For some reason, I felt a little snobby about it. I like serious dramas. I don’t like silly science fiction.

And then it happened. Slowly, but surely, I started liking silly science fiction. First “The X-Files.” But I rationalized that away as more of an ongoing mystery than a sci-fi geekfest. And then “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” which while not actually sci-fi, does lump together with the larger world of fantasy. But the thing about Buffy was it wasn’t so much about the vampires as it was about the real monsters we face every day trying to make it to adulthood.

But then I just kept adding more sci-fi shows. “Fringe.” “Dr. Who.” “Dollhouse.” “Firefly.” “Torchwood.” “Lost Girl.” “Warehouse 13.”

What is it about these shows? Why do they interest me so? Well, in part, the fantasy. Time travel. Space travel. Immortal tendencies. Bisexual succubus tendencies. And, well, Myka and Helena’s gigantic lesbian tendencies. But, to be honest, it’s not so much the escape I crave. Because while good sci-fi can provide that with its laser blasters and mind erasers and blue police boxes, I think when done well what it really gives us is a chance to look with clear eyes at our own humanity. Something about adding little green men (or their metaphysical equivalent) allows us to step back from the ordinary, up-close messiness of life and just see our human race for what it is. Beautiful. Flawed. Crazy as all fuck.

And, just as important, I think science fiction is a genre that finally allows women to be on equal footing with men. Not all science fiction, mind you. But a lot, especially more recently. Women are allowed to be in charge. They’re allowed to be strong. They’re allowed to be important – essential even. Basically, they’re allowed to save the world. They’re very rarely just the girlfriend or just the best friend. They’re more often a secret agent or badass or both. And that, that is pretty damn awesome.

Gina Torres, a high priestess of science fiction badassery, famously praised the genre for giving actresses like her who don’t fit a mold a happy home:

“When you fall within the cracks, you thank God for sci-fi, because they’ll give you a gun, and they’ll say, ‘Go over there and conquer that world. You kick some ass, girl!’”

Go kick some ass, indeed. Bring it, sci-fi. I’m all yours.

Doctor-patient privilege

Here’s a little secret. There are a handful of shows I watch regularly yet write about very irregularly because, well, I need to. Writing about entertainment for fun and occasionally (a tiny amount) of profit means the things most people use to relax becomes the things you take notes during instead of relaxing. This is not a complaint. I choose to do this and feel damn lucky anyone cares about the things I yell at my television. But, still, I choose not to write about every show because sometimes a lady just wants to sack out quietly in front of her TV and just consume the flickering images without having to think about them afterward. For me, these are shows like “Doctor Who” and “Justified” and “Modern Family” and “Being Human.” I watch all these shows and I love them, but you won’t find them in tags.

And one of those shows, which I’ve quietly watched and loved, is “Lost Girl.” I know right now many of you are smacking your foreheads and saying FINALLY! And I know many (many, many) of you emailed and tweeted me about this show last year to alert me to its amazingness. Fear not, it did not fall on deaf ears. I’ve mentioned my total enjoyment of the Lauren & Bo bits before. But news yesterday of the SyFy channel picking up two seasons of the Canadian series to air in the US has convinced me to finally talk about the supernatural sexiness that is this show. A bisexual succubus who feeds on sexual energy and gets involved with a human doctor who is, essentially, enslaved by the Light Fae (supernatural forces, there are Light and Dark, just go with it). Now that is interesting stuff.

But back to Bo and Lauren. I, basically, love them together. The pathos, oh, the gorgeous gorgeous pathos. First there’s Anna Silk, who is like sex on a sharp, pointy stick. She’s like Mary Louise Parker had a younger sister who had a thing for leather. And then there’s Zoie Palmer, who is our soulful Dr. Hotpants. If we all had primary care physicians like her, we’d never ever eat apples. (Because, um, they keep the doctor away…get it?) Together they’re this delicious combination of reserve and hunger, often from the person you least expect. Their slow burn in the first season was grown-up and complicated. And, heavens, was it hot. So, so hot. (Some spoilery bits in this video, but come on, you know you are curious.)

Seriously, thank you, Canada. I will never make an “aboot” joke again if you keep bringing the Bo and Lauren sizzle.