Gay, really gay

Welcome back, Clementine. Please sit down and make yourself comfortable. Seriously, you're giving me whiplash, girl. So Clementine Ford is officially out. And, yes, she has filed all the requisite paperwork and has already receive her complimentary toaster oven. As she told The Advocate: “Look, I am gay, and I just wanted there not to be this big emphasis on it.” Wouldn't we all, Clementine, wouldn't we all.

The interview went into intricate detail (seriously, is this The Advocate or Soap Opera Digest?) about Clementine's role on “The Young & the Restless,” which starts today. But it also cleared the air on the whole Diva vs. TV Guide vs. clarity smackdown Clementine's words were seemingly having with each other. From The Advocate:

Q: Let’s clear the air on the interview that ran recently with Diva magazine, in which the cover read “Clementine Ford Comes Out.” In the piece, it sort of intimated you came out and that you had an affair with your costar of The L Word, Kate Moennig. Then you did an interview with TV Guide magazine where you attempted to clarify. It sort of has given you some pushback from fans. Can you tell us what happened?
A: It’s funny. I was having kind of a rough day. My best friend sent me a text saying, “You have to see this.” So I went online to see this link and I read the comments and I go, “They hate me!” When I did the TV Guide interview I was angry because there is the whole perception now that I came out and I went back in. And what upset me was, I felt that because I did not "come out" in that interview, I felt it was unfair to fans that bought the magazine expecting to get a tearful story that says “I’m gay.” I thought it was misleading, and now because I was upset by that cover, I am apparently back in the closet and people hate me.

Q: But can you understand how some people may have been confused when in a magazine piece you are quoted like that?
A: There are people who get it, and get what my original meaning was. Just as I was talking about story lines being a nonissue on The L Word; it should just be these people are gay and it’s part of life. I think with that article, and what came across as ambiguity, was actually my attempt at making it a nonissue. Look, I am gay, and I just wanted there not to be this big emphasis on it.

So, pretty much, Clementine is gay and wants it to be OK. Which is OK with me. We all want it to be OK, a nonissue, just part of life. And, thankfully, the more that folks like Clementine and others come out, the more it will be OK, a nonissue, just part of life. Welcome to the family, honey. Enjoy the toast.

An outie or an innie?

So what are we to make of the “look who came out/look who went in”-case of Clementine Ford? The all caps headline on last month's Diva magazine cover couldn't have been bigger or clearer: CLEMENTINE FORD COMES OUT. Woo and hoo! Break out the feather boas and strike up the band; it's time for a personalized pride parade. Happy gay gals all over the world were excited to watch the final month's worth of “The L Word” episodes for a glimpse of their newly-out heroine. It was like she earned her Advanced Placement Gay, Graduate Level Gay and Doctorate in Fucking Gay overnight.

But now flash forward six weeks. “The L Word” is over, Clementine Ford is about to join the cast of “The Young & The Restless” and she is also no longer proclaiming her outness. In fact, she says she never came out in an interview with TV Guide magazine.

From TV Guide:

Q: Let’s discuss this Diva magazine cover story. You sorta kinda maybe came out as a lesbian. Um, right?
A: [Groaning] I’m sooo glad you asked. The first thing that really upset me was that the cover line said “Clementine Ford Comes Out” which, clearly if you read the article, I did not come out. It was really misleading and full of misquotes to sell the magazine. If someone’s buying it to see that I came out, well, get your money back.

Whoa, wait, what? Alright, let's read the article and see what exactly she said on the matter. Read it in full for yourself here. [Hat tip, uhhuhherfan.com!]

From Diva on the rumors about her and Kate Moennig:

“Well, the truth is...” she begins, measuring her words carefully. “The truth is that I'm not technically out yet. Put that in your magazine. For me, there's never been a distinction about anything to do with sexuality, so there was no declaration to be made. My siblings and I would bring home men and women, and as long as they were human it wasn't a big deal.” Gosh, Clementine Ford has just come out. Well, as a woman who dates women, at least. She's not big on labels, more of which later.

Then later, from Diva on labels:

“I never want to put a label on myself — but knowing that not everyone comes from such a liberal place, when something like Prop. 8 [banning gay marriage in California] comes out, you realize it’s important to stand up and be counted. A little gay kid in a small town is more important than whether I want a label.”

OK, sure, she doesn't say she is gay or lesbian or bisexual in so many words. She says she is “not technically out,” but has brought home “men and women.” Infer what you will, I guess. I infer when she says “put that in your magazine” that she is making some sort of solidarity statement. That said, I would have asked a slew of very specific follow-up questions, like “Wait, did you just come out?” and “So do you consider yourself lesbian, bisexual, queer as Christmas?” and “You know we're going to put your face with an all caps headline about coming out on the cover, right?” I'm not saying the reporter didn't ask those questions, but it's not apparent either way from the story.

TV Guide apparently shared my confusion, because they did ask a follow-up to her un-outing.

From TV Guide:

Q: But I did read the article and you do say “The truth is that I’m not technically out yet.” You go on to admit that, even though you were married to actor Todd Hunter for four years, you’ve also dated women. And you perpetuated the rumors that you and Kate Moennig had a thing while shooting The L Word. Are you just a big ol’ tease?
A: [Ignoring the question] That Diva article also picked up quotes from a podcast interview I did with AfterEllen.com where the interviewer asked me if the sex on The L Word was real and I very jokingly said “Yes, we actually had sex. The L Word is porn. The secret’s out!” And the Diva writer printed it as fact that Kate and I had real sex on camera! I was like, “Oh, my God, I hate you!” I almost wrote a nasty letter and then I stopped myself because I thought, if anyone is stupid enough to actually believe that Showtime would let us have real sex, then that’s not my problem. So that was that. But it made me very angry.

Classic misdirection. Don't answer the real question, but show indignation over another, somewhat-related question. And, she certainly has a point to be indignant about. Diva did get it terribly, horribly wrong when it came to her This Just Out With Liz Feldman appearance. [Catch it at the 17:10 mark.]

From Diva on the Molly/Shane sex scenes:

When she and Moennig were performing their sex scenes [she told Liz Feldman on the AfterEllen website], they wanted it to look as authentic as possible, so they actually had sex on the set – but when "Phyllis" walked in in them, Clementine felt distinctly uncomfortable

From This Just Out on the Molly/Shane sex scenes:

Liz: It was very realistic and I was watching it and I was like that looks like real sex. Was it?
Clementine: Yes. The L Word is porn.
Liz: You said that sarcastically, but I've said that in sincerity.

Wow, Diva, way to be utterly unclear on the concept of sarcasm.

So could Diva have gotten it all wrong, jumped to conclusions, wildly misquoted? Sure, sure and definitely. The TJO misunderstanding shows that at the very least something is on the verge of being rotten in the state of Denmark. So if they took Clementine's somewhat ambiguous statement of solidarity and twisted it into something it's not just to sell magazines, shame on them. Seriously, boo. This helps no one.

Still, what bothers me most about this about face is the timing. If Clementine had never come out, never meant to imply that she came out, never really been any kind of queer in the first place, why wouldn't she have said something right away? Why wait, conveniently, until after “The L Word” has completed its run, when all of the overwhelming support she could garner from this sort of revelation has been used up and she was instead about to appear on a very mainstream, very straight show?

I believe Clementine is a sincere and compassionate supporter of the GLBT community. This won't change that. But there is something very off-putting and sickeningly familiar about this in/out/in dance. The stars flirt with us, give an interview (often with the gay press) where they proclaim some sort of bisexuality and then maybe weeks, maybe months, maybe years later tell another media outlet that they were never were gay in the first place or just misquoted or plain old wrong. For reference please see Megan Mullally, Nelly Furtado, et al. This kind of bisexuality backpedaling is, sadly, nothing new when it comes to celebrities.* But it sure does make me tired.

Well, what do you think? Backpedal? Misquote? Labelphobia? Sigh. I guess it's time to put the feather boa back in the closet, so to speak.

*p.s. Clearly, I don't mean that backpedaling is an inherent part of bisexuality. Banish. The. Thought. It's this kind of fauxsexual thing that makes it hard for bisexual women to fight unfair stereotypes.

My darling Clementine

So my gaydar totally needs a tuneup because Clementine Ford did not ping it even a little, even at all. I mean, sure, she had a certain matter-of-factness about her that lends itself to speculation. But full-on “Yes I Am”-status? Um, no. I think all I really thought every time I saw Clementine was, damn, that girl looks like her mother.

Which, of course, is why the news that she has come out on the cover of the March issue of Diva magazine is so great. She says:

“I never want to put a label on myself — but knowing that not everyone comes from such a liberal place, when something like Prop 8 comes out, you realize it’s important to stand up and be counted. A little gay kid in a small town is more important than whether I want a label.

For me, there’s never been a distinction about anything to do with sexuality, so there was no declaration to be made. My siblings and I would bring home men and women, and as long as they were human it wasn’t a big thing.”

Of course, it's still a tad ambiguous as the what she is being counted as: lesbian, bi, heteroflexible, homoflexible, queerer than a $3 bill, whathaveyou. But considering that Leisha is one of the only out-more-than-in-just-lip-service stars of “The L Word,” I'll take all I can get. So huzzah! Fantastic news. Welcome to the family, Clementine. I'm not even going to do the juvenile thing where I compare your name to citrus. Oops, damn.

In the article, Clementine also implies that she is dating a woman and says, “but it’s new and I wouldn’t call it a relationship. I don’t want to say too much and jinx it.”

And with that the great Who Is She Sleeping With guessing game begins. She has already addressed the Kate Moennig rumors saying they're just “really good friends.” So I guess there is no Sholly in real life. A quick run through the lazy person's favorite stalking tool Google and I found out that she is also some sort of friend with musician Meghan Toohey (one of her Myspace photos is credited to “clementine 'you betta credit my ass' ford”).

And since no game of WISSW can be complete without some sort of personal connection, earlier this winter I went to see Lenka and was watching her band when I thought, “Who is that cute little lesbian on guitar?” So I went home that night and – of course – Googled and said cute little lesbian on guitar was none other than, yep, Meghan Toohey. Obscure? Yes. True? Yes.

I also noticed the “Ariel” name necklace Clementine has worn to several events. But her sister's name is Ariel, so that's a dead end. What? Stop judging. You know WISSW is totally your favorite game. Well, after – as StuntDouble already stated – Gay Projection 101. That's even a game Clementine has played herself.

“Mum and Jane (Lynch) have such a great energy together, on screen and off," Ford said. "They’re still friends. I want them to be together so badly; it’s my secret dream.”

So true. Though I think I've had my own personal, secret dreams involving Jane Lynch, too. Oh, The Reamer. Call me.

So, did Clementine ping your collective 'dars? I even went back to watch her August appearance on This Just out With Liz Feldman to see if I missed anything. But other than being eternally thankful for her decision to wear a black tank top that day, I still didn't get the vibe. Guess I really do need a tune-up.

p.s. If you want a gaydar field test, check out Liz's new third season of This Just Out which so far features two out gay ladies and two my-private-life-is-private gay ladies. It's perfect practice.
p.p.s. Oh and on a spoilery note, something tells me we may not have seen the end of Sholly just yet.