In Joss we trust

No. Wrong. Madness. Horror. Abomination. END TIMES.

Right, so, possibly an overreaction but, if you really think about it, not really. News of the Joss Whedon-less “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” reboot made The Internets mad yesterday. Really, really, really mad. It made me mad, too. Like really, really, really mad. But also, kind of sad.

Why disrespect the man who created, tended to and lovingly developed a much-adored, much-respected, much-idolized series like this? Why put the screenplay in the hands of an inexperienced young screenwriter with no films to her credit? Why insult a loyal fan base who sustained a small series and turned it into an iconic cultural touchstone? Why, in short, be such utter dickheads?

There’s no good reason (really, I can’t think of a single one one) to go ahead with a “Buffy” movie without Joss Whedon or, at the very and most ridiculously bare of minimums, his blessing. But this has neither. So this is just a transparent attempt at money grubbing because someone with the legal rights realized, “Hey, this teenage vampire thing has really taken off. Wait, we own a teenage vampire thing. CHA-CHING.”

Well, you’ve vastly misjudged us Buffy fans. We were never in it for the fad. We were never in it for the sparkly vampires. We were in it for Joss’s vision. We trusted his vision. We believed in his heart. He has earned that.

I’m still so sad he isn’t writing the “Wonder Woman” movie, too.

p.s. Find a much more exhaustive, slightly less emotional take on this Buffy reboot stake to the heart over at AfterEllen later today.

p.p.s. This post is really just a very elaborate way for me to show off one of my most prized possessions. Yes, that’s a signed script of “The Body” by all the Buffy writers. Yes, it’s awesome.

Joss Dance

If you know anything about me, even a little, you will know that these next five words have made my day, week and (depending on how the next 11 days goes) month: Joss Whedon will direct “Glee.” Yesterday The Great Occasionally-Bearded One confirmed that, yes indeedy, he was going to direct an upcoming episode of The Great Un-“High School Musical” Musical. My thoughts on the matter can be best summed up in a series of high-pitched squealing sounds. For a slightly more articulate take on the collaboration, read Joss’ own thoughts on the subject here. In my head I’m already holding a virtual dance-off between the Gleeks and Scoobies.

Sure there are no vampires or space cowboys or mind-erasing chairs on “Glee” – that we know of…yet. But this pairing really does make perfect sense in the sense that Joss Whedon is great, “Glee” is great and how unbelievably great will it be to see Jane Lynch directed by Joss? Anyone who doubts the inspired nature of this pairing needs to go back and rewatch “Once More With Feeling.” And don’t just go through the motions, if you know what I mean. Also, I dare you to find a musical that creates a better visual metaphor for cunnilingus. Double dog, even.

Man, I am almost as happy about this news as I am about them getting the mustard out.

All that is left now is what to call this epic convergence of awesome: Gleedon? Whee? Gloss? I think I like Whee. It sounds exactly how I feel about this: WHEEEEEEEEE!

How Horrible

Oh Joss, if only you were a woman. Then, I'd wager, you'd be perfect. Still, Mr. Whedon, even as is you're pretty darn close. And now, well, now this. “Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog” Act I came out yesterday. It is so many things. But mostly, it's just fun. So. Very. Fun. And, really, isn't that what this whole crazy Interwebs is supposed to be all about? Quite simply, just the sharing of wonderful things. Well, that and porn. (Just kidding. Porn is bad. Very, very bad. It needs to be punished. Wait...where was I?)

For those unfamiliar, Dr. Horrible (HIMYM's Neil Patrick Harris) is an inept supervillain who dreams of being accepted into the Evil League of Evil on his video blog. His nemesis is the narcissistic superhero Captain Hammer (Firefly's Nathan Fillion) who cares more about his hair than innocent bystanders. They both want the same adorable red-head (Willow Felicia Day, a potential from Buffy Season 7). There Joss goes again, twisting clichéd formulas and making them into something refreshing and new. The bad guy is good. The good guy is bad. Um, did I mention the singing?

Go check it out immediately, if not sooner. Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog also has a blog. Gosh, ain't The Internets meta. (My international friends will need to be a little patient and/orInternational problem fixed, yay! You can also fork over a couple bucks to download the video from iTunes.) Get a taste of it here from the teaser. Yummy, no?

Part II comes out Thursday and the finale Part III comes out Saturday. Move, second hand, move! The wait, it burns!!

I know I was all solidarity now! during the Writers Strike, but if stuff like this is the result I say bring on the picket lines. (Just kidding. Strikes are bad. Very, very bad. They need to be punished. And not in the good porn way. Wait...where was I?)

Go watch! Mwah-ha-ha-ha! Ah-ha-ah-ah! Or something.

Equality right damn now

Have you ever read something so eloquent, so moving and so true that you felt like you’d been given a gift and in turn wanted to share it with everyone you knew? No, I’m not having some crazed Oprah’s Book Club moment. I’m talking about the gift that was Joss Whedon’s post at Whedoneque over the weekend. If he isn’t a feminist, then I don’t know what one is. I’ve tried my own weak attempt at eloquence on the matter over at AfterEllen. But I think I’ll just let his unvarnished words speak for themselves.

“I have never had any faith in humanity. But I will give us props on this: if we can evolve, invent and theorize our way into the technologically magical, culturally diverse and artistically magnificent race we are and still get people to buy the idiotic idea that half of us are inferior, we’re pretty amazing. Let our next sleight of hand be to make that myth disappear.”

When I finished reading (go, read it now, I mean it), I realized that his words fit so seamlessly into Buffy’s final battle cry from “Chosen” that it was almost eerie. Joss, I am ready to be strong. And I am looking up.

Some kind of un-Wonderful

Well bugger. Buffy mastermind and all-around genius Joss Whedon is no longer attached to the upcoming “Wonder Woman” movie. But as further evidence of the coolness that is Joss, he went straight to his fans to break the bad news. He posted on Whedonesque saying that the problem boiled down to different takes on the Amazon princess.

“I had a take on the film that, well, nobody liked….Let me stress first that everybody at the studio and Silver Pictures were cool and professional. We just saw different movies, and at the price range this kind of movie hangs in, that’s never gonna work. Non-sympatico.”

Given Joss’s ability to create strong, complex and original heroines, this is clearly Wonder Woman’s loss. And ours. Sigh.

More Slayer sneak peeks

Buffy’s been gone for three years and suddenly she’s all over the place again. You really can’t keep a good woman down. With the impending arrival of season 8, in comic form, Joss Whedon has been back on the Q&A trail and gave TVGuide.com another sneak peek, with lots of tantalizing images. The highlight? This exchange:

Q: Does (Buffy) get comic-book superheroine breast implants?
A: She really doesn't. I've been fortunate that I've never
worked with a T&A artist. I'm very specific about that.
Q: Isn't that the raison d'etre of lots of comics?
A: That's part of why I stopped reading comics for a while.
All the people I work with draw actual women.

I love Joss. I miss Joss. TV needs Joss. But, I'll settle for comics.

Joss Whedon, Will You Marry Me?

Just in case you had any doubt, Joss Whedon is the coolest man on the face of the planet. Here he is receiving an award from the feminist group Equality Now, with his trademark wit and passion on display.

"Equality is not a concept, it is not something we should be striving for. It is a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women."

Go rent Buffy the Vampire Slayer now. You can thank me later.