Practice makes perfect

Right, so last night while watching “Game of Thrones” (getting a little better with the female characters, a little), one scene in particular peaked my interest. It is when Daenerys ask her handmaiden to school her in the ways of pleasing a man. Normally, the last three words of that request would mean I couldn’t give a flip. But, oh, how different things are in execution. So Dany (for short, because Daenerys is too damn had to spell) and her handmaiden Doreah have a very instructional session together. I am not ashamed, I rewound it more than once. What can I say? Beautiful women straddling each other will never not work for me. Oh, please, like you can resist. (A tad NSFW, though mostly just educational.)

But then, while watching, I thought, “Gosh, that handmaiden looks kind of familiar.” And thanks to you all (Hat tip, Tiffany!), I had my eureka moment. Well, more like a lesbureka moment. Lovely handmaiden Doreah is none other than cheeky daytime TV host Lou from “Lip Service.” Yes, that’s the delightful Roxanne McKee in both roles. No wonder she was so good with the ladies. What? Can’t remember Lou? Well, let me help jog your memory a bit with a little visual aid. I’ll bet Tess hasn’t forgotten her. (NSFW, oh, like that’s going to stop you.)

Of course, watching that little interlude from “Lip Service” just reminds me how much I miss “Lip Service.” In fact, it even makes me miss “The L Word.” Because as much as I love the lesbian/bisexual storylines on “Glee” and “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Pretty Little Liars,” they’re just one storyline out of many others. What was so great about “Lip Service” and (when it wasn’t annoying the shit out of you with incomprehensible plot points and pointless murder mysteries) “The L Word” was that they were all about the gay ladies. And without them we wait, impatiently patient, to see ourselves pop up again. Or even make due with a little practice session. It does make perfect, after all.

EDIT: Seriously, someone reported the nudity in the Tess & Lou video? Well, let’s see if DailyMotion is less prudey.

At your Service

Something strange happens while you’re watching “Lip Service.” You kind of forget the characters are gay. Well, you don’t. I mean, how could you? They’re gay. Everything about them is gay. It oozes from their pores because it’s in their pores. It’s not something that has been paint-by-numbered onto them. They just are, and so you forget. Instead it’s just a group of women living their lives and having the same (albeit hopefully somewhat heightened) drama that we all go through.

Gosh, that’s nice.

What “Lip Service” has been able to craft in just five short episodes (with only the finale left, which airs today) is to bring us into the living, breathing, functioning, non-functioning, crazy, mundane, complicated, silly lives of a group of gay women living in Glasgow. You may not see your life exactly reflected in their lives (I mean, I’ve never dated a hot cop – yet). But they feel right. Their choices feel like their own, even the bad ones.

And while I may not feel the same instant blind devotion to the characters, like I did with certain characters on “The L Word” (Alice, Dana, Bette – group hug), these women seem like women I might actually be friends with. So watching their lives is like sneaking surreptitious glances through an open window into their living rooms. Figuratively, because if it was for real I think we’d all get arrested for peeping during the naught bits.

Amazingly, the writers never felt the need to scream from the rooftops: “This show is about gay women with the gay and their gayness and their gay issues and the gay drama and more gayness. GAY!” Sure, it dealt some issues you see often in gay narratives: The girlfriend who won’t come out, the boss who doesn’t like gays, the gay lady who sometimes sleeps with not-gay-ladies, the Shane/Frankie. But they were handled without muss or blaring trumpets or Very Special Episodes.

In fact, the last episode had a scene that was almost breathtaking in its ordinariness (no, not that scene – that was breathtaking for other reasons). It was in DS Sam Murray in her car with her police partner calmly discussing her relationship. Nothing extraordinary about it except that it was extraordinary. You never see gay and straight coworkers who aren’t already established as “best friends” talk like that. Gays talk with gays, straights talk with straights. Or, if they do talk, it’s about The Gay.

Like I was saying, nice.

Is it perfect? Heavens no. I’m not nearly as intrigued as they think I should be at the Big Scary Secret from Frankie’s past. Jay needs to grow up and stop taking out his Peter Pan impulses on my eyeballs. And for God’s sake, will someone unforrow poor Cat’s brow? Continually perplexed is not a good way to go through life. But those are just nits compared to the greater good.

So, what do I hope for from the finale today? More of the same. I want the big messy. Life is complicated, our choices are complicated. Should Cat go with the steady, dependable, super hot cop Sam or should she go with the damaged, mercurial, super bad decision maker Frankie? Call me crazy, but I’m actually kind of torn. And that’s good, too. Sometimes you can’t script it all out. Sometimes you have to let things happen and hope for the best.

p.s. Once more, with extra gay feelings, my friends over at Feromoon would be more than happy to help you watch. Enjoy.

Hot Fuzz

So when this whole “Lip Service” business started everyone assumed Frankie’s Ruta Gedmintas would be the show’s resident lesbothrob. She was the “Shane” of the group (yes, yes – I know she’s not Shane). She did all the moody looking through her hair and randy dropping of her skinny jeans. She was the bad girl. But a funny thing happened on the way to fandom, everyone started swooning over the good girl instead. Sure, we still love us some Frankie. But bring up Detective Sergeant Sam Murray to a group of gay ladies and you’ll hear a chorus of, “Ooooooh, the hot cop.” Yes, hot cop is hot – and ridiculously so.

I’ve been trying to analyze exactly what makes Hot Cop so hot. (For science, obviously.) And what I’ve come up with is actually pretty simple. Sam is your dream girlfriend. Hot, smart, strong, accomplished, calm, confident, happy to have sex on her office desk. She is proof that good girls aren’t boring, they’re just good – at lots of really good things.

All the credit in the world must be given to out actress Heather Peace for making Hot Cop so very hot. She had taken what could have been a somewhat two-dimensional role (good, stoic cop lady) and turned her into an infinitely relatable and desirable character. As the only out cast member she brings a needed authenticity to her part. We know her. She doesn’t wear a lot of makeup. She does wear a lot of tight button-down shirts. She hasn’t got time for bullshit. She has got a shitload of swagger. She swigs beer like a fucking champion. (In real life she can apparently swing like a fucking champion, too, because she is also a jazz singer.) Wait, have I mentioned she is really hot?

I know we’re supposed to want Cat and Frankie together, I know that. And part of me does – first loves and all. But another part of me says screw that head case. Stay with the hot cop and have hot sex in the backseats of taxis forever and ever.

Thank you, Heather Peace/Hot Cop/Det. Sgt. Sam Murray. I will now make the obligatory joke about you being welcome to handcuff me and/or give me a firm frisking anytime.

Also, thanks for this. Guess it’s Naked Lady Monday after all. NSFW, obviously, clearly, very much so. You’re welcome. [Click to enlarge, which goes for all the images, you big perv.]

p.s. My friends over at Feromoon would be more than happy to help you catch up on all the Hot Cop action of “Lip Service.” Enjoy.

Getting Lippy

Hey, who wants to talk about that British show with all the gay ladies and the skinny, androgynous, hipster-haired lesthario who is definitely not Shane? No one? Really? Fine. I’ll just go eat this crumpet in the corner with a spot of tea then. Weather’s been nice for this time of year. Turned a touch cold last night. Wait, what’s that? You do want to talk about that British show with all the gay ladies and the skinny, androgynous, hipster-haired lesthario who is definitely not Shane? Well why didn’t you say so. I’ve been dying to discuss “The L Word with Better Accents” “Lip Service.” Let me just finish this tea first.

SPOILER ALERT: Talking about the show means talking about spoilers for the pilot episode. Also I’m also going to talk about some spoilers for the pilot episode of “The L Word” – you know, for all three of you who have never seen it.

First of all, stop comparing it to that other lesbian show. “Lip Service” is nothing like “The L Word.” “Lip Service” has a thin, tortured lady’s lady with an edgy hairdo named Frankie. “The L Word” has a thin, tortured lady’s lady with an edgy hairdo named Shane. Frankie takes pictures. Shane cuts hair. Different, not the same. Oh, shit. Didn’t Shane start taking pictures in, like, season six or something? Damn.

“Lip Service” is set in Glasgow, “The L Word” was set in Vancouver Los Angeles. LS starts out with three main gay ladies, TLW started out with six main gay ladies. LS began with a death, TLW ended with a death. LS took 1 minute and 25 seconds to get to the first lesbian sex scene, TLW took 10 minutes and 35 seconds to get to the first lesbian sex scene. LS has hot Scottish accents, TLW had hot Jennifer Beals arms.

All joking aside, the shows have very different tones (LS is a little more raw, TLW was a lot more glossy) and very different obvious initial story arcs (LS is about lost love, TLW was about self awakening). I would still advise all “Lip Service” actresses steer clear of any swimming pools, just in case.

The bigger question remains: How was it? It was good. I wouldn’t say I fell in love instantly, but I most definitely want a second date. And I can’t wait to get it naked. You know the biggest problem with “Lip Service” so far? No one is especially likable yet. Tess whines (though her robot love was adorkable), Cat furrows her brow while showing varying levels of concern and Frankie looks very Shane today. Granted, we are only one episode in. But one episode into “The L Word” I already loved Alice, adored Dana and wanted to be bossed around like a bad puppy by Bette.

I believe the rest of my feelings about “Lip Service” can be best expressed in screencaps. It was between that or interpretive dance. I think, for everyone’s sake, I made the right decision.

Meet Frankie
First Lesbian Sex
Why It’s Better to be British
Meet Tess
Meet Cat
Meet Her One Facial Expression
Yes, Really
But How Was It?
Bonus: Ship it.

God bless the BBC.