Thursday, January 15, 2009

Stick it with Sarah

What’s a brand new year without a visit from my Fake Girlfriend Sarah Haskins? (She no longer needs the No. 2 designation, since Tina has been upgraded to wife status. Suck it, Prop. 8. I can still get imaginary married.) We’re only two weeks into 2009 and already Sarah is making me pee my pants, just a little, with glee. Luckily for me, there is a product for that.

First, a look back to 2008.

Did you accomplish everything the ads told you to? Dancing for no reason? Check. Eating yogurt? Check. Showing your armpits? Check. And, of course, mooning your coworkers? Check and mate. Casual Fridays will never be the same.

Next, a look at 2009 with the obligatory “Diets! Diets! Diets!” mania that strikes every new year.

Does anyone else think sticking it in your ear hole sounds kind of…dirty?

Fine, just me. Or maybe my thought process has been weakened from going on Sarah’s eat through your ear diet. I mean, who wants to taste food when you can hear it instead?

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