Tell me, who are hot?

I know it’s not particularly cool to say, but I love “CSI.” The we are the original, accept no substitute, high stakes or go home “CSI.” The we don’t need a stinking city behind our initials because what happens here stays here “CSI.” The we aren’t about making bad puns while taking off our sunglasses or tinting everything in NYPD’s blue “CSI.” You know – Vegas, baby. It’s just solid TV. Is it groundbreaking? Not especially. But week after week it is well done, infrequently gimmicky and beautifully produced. Tell me some of the scenes, especially in the last few Grissom seasons, did not feel cinematic in scope.

What I have always particularly liked about crime show and procedurals is that the women in them are not superfluous. They work just as hard and are taken just as seriously as the men. And that’s important. They also aren’t constrained as tightly by the shackles of glamour. Are they glamorous and attractive? Duh, they’re actors. But they don’t need to show up in evening gowns or leather hot pants or six-inch heels. They can just show up and be competent. (Well, except when doing magazine photoshoots, but one victory at a time, people.) Which, in turn, leads me to the two founding females of CSI: Marg Helgenberger and Jorja Fox.

While there may not have been a lot of warmth between their characters when the show premiered 10 years ago, what has developed is an organic affection and genuine respect. Like something you might find at an actual workplace between colleagues who have known each other for a decade. And, in the naughty recesses of my brain, I like to think that it’s Sara and Catherine, not Sara and Grissom, that indulge in after-hours extracurriculars together. Now, I’m no GSR hater. I don’t necessarily want to watch them together in silk robes, but I’m happy their characters seem to have found a happily ever after – and even made it official. But, come on, look at the opportunity the producers are missing here. [Click any and all the enlarge.]

But now with Sara’s return for several episodes this season, they have can finally make amends. And the ladies are even teasing us about it via their new TV Guide cover story:

Would Catherine ever kiss Sara?
Jorja: We did today! At the TV Guide Magazine photo shoot.

Of course, the show already missed an equally golden opportunity when Det. Sofia Curtis (Louise Lombard, a.k.a. The Best-Strutting Butch With a Button-Down and a Badge Possibly Ever) mysteriously left the show. I mean, ohmygodhowfuckinghotaretheytogether?

And while I had hoped for some sort of Sara Sidle/Soup Chef chemistry this year, Lauren Lee Smith’s character Riley is gone before the season premieres tonight. Riley wasn’t my favorite anyway, not because of Lauren but because her character wasn’t given much to work with. So tonight, I’m going to celebrate the return of Sara, if only for a little while, to my favorite crime procedural. Plus, there has always been an unspoken agreement in the community that Jorja is one of ours.

So welcome back to my TV, homegirl. We’ve missed that gap-tooth grin. Now go get the bad guys.

My Weekend Crush

Fifteen years is a hell of a long time. It's almost half of my life and basically all of my adult life. And during that time, there has been one constant at 10 p.m. every Thursday. That familiar, muted siren sound, followed by a simple sequence of keys was almost comforting. Admittedly, I stopped watching “ER” years ago. I can only name a few of the current cast and I have no idea where the story has taken them. (Seriously, why was Rory Gilmore there last night?) But what I do know is that when I did watch, “ER” was some damn good television.

The thing I always enjoyed about the show was that women were integrated and integral to its stories. This was not a show about men doctors telling female nurses what to do. This was a show with men and women, in all different jobs and with all different skills, working together to save lives. It was intense and almost always interesting. And, oh, the wonderful women – and even a few gay ones to boot. [Hat tip, The Linster!] I'm partial, of course, to the casts from the earlier seasons when I used to watch slavishly.

Julianna Margulies, Sherry Stringfield, Gloria Reuben, Laura Innes, Jorja Fox – now that's some talent. And then later Alex Kingston, Maria Bello, Elizabeth Mitchell, Maura Tierney, I could go on forever. What was always great about “ER” was that it showed these women in their professional setting, doing what they do best without the burden of glamour. Sure, they were all certainly above-average attractive, but that wasn't the focus. That they were good at their jobs and they were passionate about their work – this was what mattered. Their profession was never secondary, it was the point. Or, just maybe, I'm a sucker for a woman in a lab coat with a stethoscope. Thanks for 15 years, ladies. Happy weekend, all.

Tank Top Tuesday

So, I’ve noticed something about televised ladies of law enforcement. No, not their badges. No, not their airs of authority. No, not their really big guns. No, I’ve noticed they all wear tank tops to work. Like a lot. Like constantly. Not that I mind. Not at all. But, I’ve just never been pulled over by a cop while speeding who sauntered up to my car window in a ribbed white tank top asking for my license and registration. Because, if she did, I think I might try a little disorderly conduct, if you know what I mean.

My Weekend Crush

I’m going to miss seeing Jorja Fox and her skeptical scowl as she squints sternly at whatever tiny piece of fiber or random chip of paint holds the key to cracking the case. When Sara Sidle left Las Vegas this week, Jorja exited the cast of “CSI.” What I’ve enjoyed most about watching Jorja is the no-fuss, no-nonsense, no-bullshit competence she brought to Sara Sidle week after week. It was refreshing to see a woman who was respected for her intellect and her ability, not just how well she filled out a tank top. Not that there’s anything wrong with filling out a tank top well, which Jorja can also do. But, in my mind, Jorja gave Sara a very gay aesthetic. (We’ll just ignore the whole Grissom thing.) The way she walked, the way she carried her shoulders, the way she wore her pants -- it was all so, well, dykey. While Jorja was never out while on the show, it doesn’t take military-grade gaydar to figure it out. Oh, and then there was her song “Satellite” where she kept singing about “she.” So, now that Jorja is free of the TV grind, maybe she’ll feel freer with her personal life as well. So long, Sara. Let’s hope it’s not the last we hear of Jorja as well. Happy weekend, all.

Jorja on my mind

My favorite CSI might be DOA. If the rumors are true, it’s not looking too good for Jorja Fox’s Sara Sidle to crawl out from that car we last saw her under in the cliffhanger season finale. This week, TV Guide reported that the Las Vegas forensics show plans to add a new female character early next season who is “in her mid-twenties, fresh out of college and lacking the capacity for self-censorship.” A show that replaces a 30-something actress with a 20-something youngster? Gee, that’s a new one.Jorja is one of the biggest reasons I’ve tuned into “CSI” for seven seasons. Her appeal is multifaceted. She has the best skeptics scowl this side of Scully, that fantastic gap-toothed smile and an affinity for tank tops. Plus, the woman gives great eyebrow. And, well, she is “family” after all.And then, of course, there is the femslash. Sara/Catherine, Sara/Sofia. It’s like Yum & Yummier. While I’m not a really a regular reader, I do enjoy the videos. And for you, my lovely readers, I sorted through over an hour’s worth of S/C versus S/S clips to settle the great “which slash is hotter?“ debate. In the end, the writer in me went for the one with alliteration.

Happiness is a warm gun

Consider this My Vacation Crush (trademark pending…) What is it about a woman who walks softly and carries a big gun? Let’s face it, lesbians love a woman with a badge and handcuffs. They’re smart. They’re tough. And they’re usually wearing sensible shoes. Plus, when they’re TV cops, they can’t give you a speeding ticket.

Kickball is the new softball

OK, so there is nothing extraordinary about this video, except that you get to watch CSI's yummy Jorja Fox play kickball (oh, fellow castmate Eric Szmanda - you know, the goofy lab tech turned field guy - is also there).

According to TMZ, they both play for the World Adult Kickball Association on a team called the Royal Blue Balls. Who knew? Kickball is apparently the new softball. And Jorja looks right at home playing the field, so to speak. I mean, girl's even got special kickball playing gloves on. Mighty butch if you ask me.

Only bad - she is a smoker. Boo! Jorja is such a great environmental, animal rights and human rights activist (plus a proud - if not completely open - toaster oven owner), how could she be a willing contributor to Big Tobacco?