SGALGG: Thankful Edition

You know what we haven’t done in a while? Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals, or what I like to call SGALGG – that acronym that sounds like you’re choking on a cracker. But this being a week where we give thanks to what we’re thanksful for, I am thankful for how delicious two straight ladies look when they’re acting totally gay. Also, cheese. I’m thankful for cheese. But mostly the thing about how beautiful two women can look together. Like, for instance, Cate Blanchett and Nicole Kidman. Now that is an attractive couple anyone would be delighted to invite over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Lea Michele & Michelle ChoHow dare she cheat on Dianna like this.

Lisa Edelstein & Dianna AgronDianna, as you can see, did not take Lea’s indiscretion lightly.

Emily Blunt & Allison JanneyIt is taking all of Emily’s will power not to look down.

Tracie Thoms Shanola Hampton & Emmy RossumShanola* is all, “Honey, not here. Later, later.”

*Apologies, she looks so much like Tracie in that picture. Also, I’ve never seen Shameless.


Mary McCormack, Gina Gershon & Kathryn HahnIn Gina’s defense, Mary clearly doesnt care if people look her in the eyes or not.

Jennifer Carpenter & Julie BenzIf only Deb and Rita had dated instead. For one thing, Rita would probably still be alive.

Maggie Q & Aisha TylerIf they just keep smiling, maybe no one will notice the piece of Maggie’s jacket Aisha ripped out earlier while, um, you know.

Gillian Anderson & Kate WinsletNow Kiss. Now Kiss. Now Kiss. NOW KISS.

Olivia Wilde & Sasha AlexanderSo, admittedly, they’re not doing anything particularly gay together here. But seeing them together is making all women all over the planet gay.

Tank Top Tuesday: Oscars Edition

Let’s not pretend the best actress Oscar race is anything but an all-out, steel-cage deathmatch between Natalie Portman and Annette Bening. All the nominees are great, but come on, those two are the battle royal. Actually, it’s nice to have a tight race instead of a presumptive frontrunner blow-out. And these two actresses really acted their asses off last year. But, in the interest of recognizing all of the lovely ladies who were nominated today, please enjoy this very special Top Thespian Tank Top Tuesday. Being nominated for an Academy Award is rewarding and all, but looking great in a tank top is its own reward.

BEST ACTRESS

Natalie Portman, “Black Swan”I bet Natalie Portman never, ever thought she’d be able to say, “In the last year I shagged both Jackie and Kelso from ‘That 70s Show.’”

Annette Bening, “The Kids Are All Right”Still courting the gay vote with her lesbian hair and chunky glasses, I see.

Nicole Kidman, “Rabbit Hole”Now that she is no longer using Botox, three cheers for the imminent return of emotions to Nicole’s forehead.

Michelle Williams, “Blue Valentine”Take that, Katie Holmes.

Jennifer Lawrence, “Winter’s Bone”The best thing Bill Engvall has ever contributed to society.


BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

Hailee Steinfeld, “True Grit”This isn’t a tank top, but Hailee is 14 so I’m not going to go there.

Helena Bonham Carter, “The King’s Speech”Every time I abbreviate HBC, I “accidentally” slip in an “I” before the “C.” It’s really more appropriate that way, don’t you think?


Jacki Weaver, “Animal Kingdom”Her nickname in the film was “Smurf,” that’s so awesome I won’t even quibble that she refused to take her overshirt off.

Melissa Leo, “The Fighter”Remember when she played Helena’s ex on “The L Word?” Remember when Helena had children?

Amy Adams, “The Fighter”Even if you weren’t adorably and winsome, Amy, we’d still love you forever for that lesbian scene in “Standing Still.”

Gender Fuck Thursday

Gosh you know what we haven’t done in a while? A nice long, slow gender fuck. But you know how I like to keep things classy around here, right? So how about we do it in black and white. Yeah, just like that. Some things you don’t need to over think. Or, more accurately, images like above of Christina Hendricks in a dress shirt and tie make it difficult for me to think.

Charlize Theron
Nicole Kidman


Drew Barrymore
Eva Green


Filippa Hamilton
Cate Blanchett


Christy Turlington, Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista
Kristen Wiig

In case that last image looks familiar, it should. That’s Yves Saint Laurent’s iconic Le Smoking tuxedo.

Now, If only they’d used this NSFW (Alert: NSFW!) pose instead. Next time, next time.

So, was it good for you?

SGALGG: Golden Globes Edition

Award season means one thing. No, not a run on seaweed wraps and protein shakes in the greater Los Angeles area. It means its SGALGG time. And thanks to its free-flowing alcohol, the Golden Globes are usually an excellent breeding ground for Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals behavior. Consider it SGALGGGG. Let Lea Michele, Jenna Ushkowitz and Dianna Agron will show everyone how it’s done.

Jeanne Tripplehorn & Drew BarrymoreI think Drew is confused about how to give a proper hickey.

Mo’Nique & Nicole KidmanIn my head, Mo’Nique has made a filthy proposition to Nicole and Nicole is, well, seriously considering it.

Anna Paquin & Deborah Ann WollNow if Sookie and Jessica were an item instead of boring old Bill, maybe I’d watch “True Blood.”

Suzy Amis & Sigourney WeaverYou do not know how much I wish Sigourney would put her arm around me like that.

Amy Poehler & Tina FeyTheir shows didn’t win anything. So I’ll let Amy comfort my wife in special, private ways for the night.

Leslie Bibb & Molly SimmsEither a SGALGG moment or the beginning of Hands Across America.

Lisa Edelstein & Olivia WildeLisa is totally giving Olivia a fuck me face. Can you blame her?

Olivia Wilde & unknown guestI commend this lady’s desperate attempts to get SGALGGy with Olivia. Can you blame her?

Naya Rivera & Heather MorrisBrittana lives!

BONUS: Critics’ Choice Movie Awards SGALGG

Meryl Streep & Sandra Bullock
Kissing it out is the new hugging it out. Pass it on.

p.s. Anyone know who that lady was who was part of a very GGALGG moment with Jane Lynch at the Golden Globes? Inquiring lesbians want to know.

UPDATE: Mystery solved! Though no small amount of stalking sleuthing, I (with help from an army of nosy lesbians) was able to discover that Jane Lynch did indeed bring her girlfriend, Lara Embry, to the Golden Globes, kissed her girlfriend when Glee won and plans to wed her girlfriend in May. Mazel tov, ladies. [Hat tip, Andrea, Jst_a_Grrl, Rachel and — of course — The Linster!]

SGALGG: BFF Off

Hey, who wants to see pretty gals being pretty together? Yeah, I thought so. And who wants to see pretty gals being pretty together pitted against other pretty gals being pretty together? Do I know you people or what? I’ve decided to pit TV best friends against actual best friends and see who comes out the victor. It’s a very special SGALGG BFF Off. So here you have it: “Gossip Girl” BFFs Leighton Meester and Blake Lively v. Aussie BFFs Nicole Kidman and Naomi Watts. Make believe or reality? And…fight (but in a friendly way)! [Click any and all to enlarge.]

Hand HoldingHugging it OutInappropriate PDAGet a Room, Already

Well? Who takes it? Or is this a very special Girl Scouts moment where we’re making new friends, but keeping the old?