Friday, May 25, 2007

Look, lesbians. Wow, I’m suddenly thirsty.

The Commercial Closet announced its 2007 nominations for the Images in Advertising Awards. If you aren’t familiar with the CC, by all means check it out. It’s a great place to discover obscure European ads of insanely sexy lesbian action or -- as I like to call it -- “conduct research.” But as I was looking over the 10 nominated campaigns for Outstanding Lesbian Portrait (scroll to the bottom) I was a bit perplexed. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate every crumb of maybe, perhaps, if-you-squint-and-turn-your-head-sideways lesbian representation in the media. But that said, some of the nominees seem to be lacking in the gay. Instead they’re just attractive pictures of attractive women in close proximity to one another.

Like, say, here. OK, they’re two women getting out of a limo together. Clearly, the champagne makes it gay.Or this one. Sure, at least these gals are visibly touching, but the one on the right just comes across as impatient to me. And kinda pushy. Oh, wait, that must be the gay part.And, seriously, don’t get me started on the crazy vodka-drinking lesbian robot ones. Is this a variation on the “dykes love their power tools” theme? Plus, if you look closely, the gal next to Short Circuit v2.0 is wearing a fur bikini. Subtle.Some of the other ads were more overt, but no less bizarre.

Take Ms. I Do A Lot of Crunches who seems to have been stricken with sudden paralysis of the arms. That’s going to make it really hard for her to pick up her beer.While here, clearly, we’re being given a visual retort to that old “Harder than finding a lesbian in a haystack” refrain.Not that I didn’t enjoy some of the ads. The Orbitz ad was cute. And the Time ad was sweet. And the Logo portraits of Subaru-driving lesbians (really, are their any other kind?) were rather refreshing. And I must shamefully confess that I think some of those haystack ones are a kinda hot. I can’t help it. The Midwestern gal in me is a sucker for straw.

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