Putting the L in onLine

Well, as you’ve probably already heard, “The L Word” will premiere a week early online at OurChart.com. That’s right, you can stream the first episode for free starting Dec. 30, a week before it airs on Showtime Jan. 6. Which is a cool idea and a great way to drive traffic to OurChart and all that jazz. But, of course, there are a few catches. First, if you are an international viewer you’re S.O.L., since the stream won’t be available to those outside the U.S. And the second and biggest catch is that the episode will be a TV-14 version of the real thing. Which means naughty words will be bleeped, naughty bits will be blurred and naughty naughtiness will be abridged. To which I say, “Come on, Ilene. Don’t you know that’s why we watch in the first place?”

TLW master Svengali Ilene Chaiken has written a post over at the O.C. about the online premiere and calls the new season the best and the “sexiest, funniest, cleverest, most romantic and most consummate” one yet. The first episode is apparently titled “LGB Tease” and picks up just a few weeks after season 4 left off. Which means Jenny should already be off that dingy. Bummer. A new promo has also hit the web telling us what to expect next year. [Hat tip, Tonya!] Yes, yes, it mentions the lesbian oil wrestling. But it also mentions pot brownies, group dynamics and sex, lots of sex. Which, if Ilene and Co. are true to their word, means the online episode premiere should go something like this:

SHANE:
Hey.
RANDOM WOMAN
Hey, back. Wanna get naked?
(Blur. Blur. Blur.)
BETTE
Hey Tina, how do you feel about getting back together?
(Bleep. Bleep. Bleep.)
KIT
Look I have a line in this episode!
(Abridge. Abridge. Abridge.)
Oh damn, they cut it.

p.s. Also, based on the last minute and change of that promo, think you can guess which season 5 storyline Ilene is “most excited about?” I hereby dub season 5 “The Tibette Tease.”