Crack open a good book

Every New Year, I make a resolution to read more. Not that I don’t read, clearly. I read every single day, all the time, non-fucking-stop. Newspapers, magazines, books, The Internets. But I don’t always read the best writing. And I don’t always read as many really great books as I’d like to. So this New Year, once again, I’m making a pledge to be good to myself and my brain and pick up some excellent books. They say print is dead, but you’ll never look as sexy holding a Kindle as you do a book – trust me.

Christina Ricci
Audrey Hepburn
Emily Haines
Marilyn Monroe
Evangeline Lilly
Marion Cotillard
Jessica Stam
Kate Winslet
Winona Ryder
Alyson HanniganWillow is my favorite book nerd, period.

So ladies, let me have it, what should I be reading this year?

Gun it

Now, don’t get me wrong, I liked “Inception.” It was like one of those M.C. Escher paintings from you college dorm room came to life, spun around a dozen times and then spit out that guy from “Titanic” and that gal from “Juno.” Also, who doesn’t love Ellen Page in an assortment of neckerchiefs? But what I really want is a little lady action. Sure Marion Cotillard gets to brandish a weapon here and there. But I crave is the big, bad-ass ladies with even bigger guns. I mean, damn Michelle Rodriguez, damn. So now the only question is, old school or new school? Decisions, decisions.

OLD SCHOOL

Gail DavisAnnie’s got not one, but two guns. As it should be.

Jane FondaWell now, Ms. Ballou, I like the way you point that thing.

Marlene DietrichThis is her just hanging at the shooting range in leather pants.

Pam GrierShe wasn’t called Foxy Brown for nothing.

Audrey HepburnAdmittedly, this is just adorable. I mean, a sun hat – come on.

NEW SCHOOL

Zoe SaldanaModern girls know how to double-fist it, too.

Noomi RapaceNo American version needed, thank you very much.

Milla Jovovich & Ali LarterTwo girls, one shotgun. So much better.

Yvonne StrahovskiIn my dream scenario Agent Sarah Walker and Agent Annie Walker meet and compare, um, guns.

Angelina JolieYes, I know, we already had a lengthy discussion about sodium content this week. But Ebert gave “Salt” four stars, and I want it to do well this weekend. Ladies first, ya know.

So, ladies – old school or new school? Or is it just fun to be schooled, period?

Biker babes

Life can be filled with unexpected peanut butter and jelly moments. You know, those organic couplings where two great things that go great together finally get together. Well, today is one of those days. You see: I like cute girls; I like the planet. Hello, cute girls helping to save the planet by riding bikes. After all, dykes do love their bikes.

Erin Daniels
Brigitte Bardot


Audrey Hepburn


Natalie Portman


Elle Macpherson


Tina Fey
Ellen Page

p.s. Though, seriously ladies, who bikes in a dress?

A look back in wonder

So as those of you who’ve been following my exercise in personal archeology known as moving have probably figured out by now that I am a fucking pack rat. I keep all sorts of things all kinds of long past their usefulness date. Good for nostalgia, bad for sanity. But today, instead of culling the past, how about we revel in it? So let’s get into our wayback machines and enjoy these snapshots from another era. Starlets of today, take note.

Julie AndrewsCirca 1957, in “Cinderella.”

Elizabeth TaylorCirca 1956, on the set of “Giant.”

Grace Kelly & Audrey HepburnCirca 1956, backstage at the Oscars.

Greta GarboCirca 1926, posing at USC.

Marilyn MonroeCirca I have no idea, but ohmygod those glasses.

Frida KahloCirca any year, any time, any place – just stunning.

My Weekend Crush

Few women are more effortlessly elegant than Audrey Hepburn. She moves beyond beautiful and into exquisite. Not only was she a lovely actress, she was also a tireless humanitarian. Which makes it even more infuriating that those damn Gap ads are using her joyful dance from "Funny Face" to shill their awful skinny jeans. A world of no. I don't care if the company donated an undisclosed amount to the Audrey Hepburn Children's Fund to use her image. And I'm not the only one who thinks it's wrong. The woman worked hard during her lifetime to maintain her legacy. Don't go muck it up to sell a couple pairs of pants. Grace like this was made for a higher purpose. Happy weekend, all.