
So in the last week or so I’ve noticed a lot of ladies showing up on the red carpet in full men’s wear. I’m not talking just a petite blazer over a pencil skirt, but a real formal suit. Obviously, I’m all for this. And, being driven by the unwavering pursuit of scientific excellence, my next step was naturally to conduct my own thorough research into this phenomena. And because no scientific finding can be verified without a thorough peer review, I present my findings to you. If science was always like this in high school, I would have become a nuclear physicist.
Leighton Meester
This is a full-on traditional men’s suit. I approve.
Olivia Wilde
This is a full-on traditional 80s suit. I disapprove.
Winona Ryder
This looks like she stole it from Marilyn Manson’s closet. But, it’s Noni and she does an amazing job with her small but crucial part in “Black Swan.” So, um, forgiven.
Jane Lynch
This looks like she stole it from the set of “Night at the Roxbury.” But, it’s Jane fucking Lynch. So, forgiven forever.
Julianne Moore
Fifty is the new OMFGHOWHOTISTHAT?
Christina Hendricks
That thump you just heard was the sound of lesbians everywhere hitting the floor after passing out.
Diane Keaton
Ladies look good in white suits, too. Usually, better than men.
Janelle Monae
Sometimes a lot better than men.
Tilda Swinton
Sometimes there is no gender, only Tilda Swinton.
Ellen DeGeneres
Hell, Ellen doesn’t even need a suit jacket. She already has the most beautiful life-size boutonniere you could ever want.
I think all these lovely ladies may have blinded me a little with their science. While I try to regain sight, tell me which of these specimens you find the finest. Science, it’s irrefutable.