emma watson

emma watson

emma watson

emma watson

Gender Fuck Thursday

Yes, yes. I know. This is a lot of Charlize for one week. But I just cannot resist a crisp white shirt and a pair of suspenders. They go together like peanut butter and jelly. The moon and stars. The Captain and Tennille. OK, you see where I’m going with this. And while they’re perfectly nice by themselves (well, I don’t know about The Captain – he seems needy), together something special happens. And that something is hot. Really hot. But you don’t have to trust me. Just trust Charlize & Co.

Emma WatsonIf Hermione looked like this she would have watched softball instead of Quidditch.

Diane KrugerThe tuxedo shirt and bow ties says business. The sleeveless arms say parrrrr-tay.

Kate MoennigShhh. Don’t speak. You’ll ruin the religious experience.

Winona RyderWell, I didn’t say you had to button the shirt.

Kristen BellOr that the shirt had to have any buttons, period.

Rachel MaddowNow comes the part in the religious experience where you should be leaving small offerings as a sign of respect.

Keira KnightleyOK, fine. She’s not wearing a crisp white shirt. My bad.

God save the queens

God save the queens of England. After watching “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2” last weekend, I reaffirmed my long-simmering Anglophilia. Heavens, the Brits are lovely. First of all, those accents. God damn, those accents. And they’ve got crisp composure about them. You know, that stiff upper lip thing. But then there’s that wonderful juxtaposition that can happen. Those proper accents, that cool exterior and then seemingly out of nowhere the they can say the most shockingly hilarious or absolutely filthy things. It’s the bawdiness under the sophistication that I think I enjoy the most. I mean, any dame who’ll wrap herself in a union jack flag and nothing else at age 65 and look better than most 25 years old doing it, well, that’s a woman you want to share a pint with – preferably more. A few more of my very favorite English lasses. Rule Britannia, baby.

Lena HeadeyAnd now I have to go rewatch “Imagine Me & You,” immediately.

Rachel WeiszOf course she married 007, just look at her.

Shelley ConnSome of you thought I didn’t give Shelley the proper love in the “Nina’s Heavenly Delights” post. Trust me, I love her good and proper.

Helena Bonham CarterSure, Bellatrix is totally evil and batshit crazy. But, admit it, also kinda sexy.

Kate WinsletSuch a pretty face, such a potty mouth.

Alex KingstonWhat I wouldn’t give to roll over and say, “Hello, sweetie.”

Kristin Scott ThomasDon’t you hate it when jam from your crumpet gets on your hand and you have to lick it off slowly? Wait, sorry, got the wrong word again – replace “hate” with “love.”

Julia OrmondI feel forever robbed by Showtime for not giving us a Julia/Eve Best love scene on “Nurse Jackie.”

Emma ThompsonFew people so fully embody a word as Emma does “delightful.”

Emma WatsonI always knew she would grow up, well, perfect.

My Weekend Crush

How I love a smart girl. As a child, I was never one for princesses. Well, I take that back, I was all for Princess Leia. But it wasn’t the Disney princesses with their flowing gowns and petite waists I daydreamed over. Caring about whether my prince would come was, obviously, not high on my list. But what was high on my list was smarts. So when other girls wanted to be Cinderella dancing at the ball, I wanted to be Anne Shirley acing her exams. The girl heroines I have always loved are far from the damsel in distress and always do their own rescuing – and then some.

So my inner little nerdy girl swells with pride each time I see Hermione Granger on the big screen. The smart girl, the plucky girl, the girl who does her own rescuing – and then some. Now there is someone amazing for girls, young and old, to aspire to be like. Intelligent, brave, loyal, a little bossy, a lot resourceful. She follows in a long line of great smart girl characters from literature (and subsequently film): Elizabeth Bennet, Jo March, Anne Shirley, Scout Finch. That’s mighty fine company and mighty important company, too. While it’s probably impossible to accurately measure their impact on generations of young women, they have given us a desperately needed alternative to the Barbieification of womanhood. Hermione makes girls, and women, everywhere want to be smart and strong and wield a wand like a fucking bad ass. Now that is what I call hearing us roar. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. HARRY POTTER SPOILER ALERT: When you go see “Deathly Hallows,” watch for when those sly Potter kids slip in a sneaky “Twilight” joke. Cheeky little monkeys.

p.p.s HARRY POTTER SPOILER ALERT II: OK, since you asked, here was the sly little joke.

In the movie when Harry, Ron and Hermione arrive at Mr. Lovegood’s house, he mentions “The Tale of the Three Brothers.” Hermione begins to read it from Dumbledore’s copy of “The Tales of the Beedle Bard” and the story begins: “There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight.” Ron stops her and says “Midnight, mum always said midnight.”

Now, that’s all in the book, but then in the book Ron says, “Sorry, I just think it’s a bit spookier if it’s midnight!” and Harry retorts “Yeah, because we really need a bit more fear in our lives.”

But in the movie Hermione shoots him a glare and then Ron sheepishly says, “Twilight is fine, better actually.”

That cannot be a coincidence. And that is also very cheeky. Nicely done, Potter kids.

Elementary, my dear Watson

You know who I have always liked (though not in that way until after 2008 and even then, more like a precocious and beloved younger sister)? Emma Watson. We haven’t talked about her new haircut because, I don’t know – war, famine, elections, fatties, vampires, tank tops, Tina Fey, British lesbians, lesbian cheerleaders, naked athletes and more tank tops. But today I feel I can ignore the topic no longer. I love Emma’s new hair. Love. It.

Sure, it took a second to get used to the new haircut. So much shortness. So much Mia Farrow circa “Rosemary’s Baby.” So much not Hermione Granger.

But it’s a wonderful representation of what makes Emma not just another Hollywood starlet (not that she was every really one, period). Sure she isn’t the first actress to crop off her hair. Natalie Portman, Cate Blanchett, Sigourney Weaver and even Demi Moore took it almost all off. But those were largely for roles. Her gesture is for herself and an act of both freedom and independence. Even if you don’t like short haircuts you have to respect her decision.

As she told Marie Claire:

“I’ve wanted to do it since I was about 16, and when Harry Potter ended in June, I just needed a change. It was quite symbolic for me. It’s very short; it was buzzed at the back and on the sides. And it’s really liberating that I can walk out without thinking about it.”

And even if you’re not a Harry Potter fan (wait, you’re not a Harry Potter fan?), you have to respect the way she has conducted herself over the years. This is a young woman who has been world famous since she was 11 and now, at age 20, has yet to enter rehab, get a DUI, flash her lady business, start a Twitter feud or get caught with “someone else’s” coke in her purse. Instead she is entering her second year at Brown, completing her time on “Harry Potter” with class and making it all look completely effortless.

She also told the magazine:

“I do things in my own way, but I’ve never felt any need to rebel. To be honest, I’ve always had far too much freedom. I had a job when I was 10. I started living on my own when I was 17 or 18. I’ve earned my own money; I’ve traveled the world. What would I rebel against?”

Sometimes, you don’t have to rage against the dying of the light. Sometimes it’s better to just enjoy and be thankful for the light while it lasts. And, Emma, in this light, with your hair like that? It hurts to look at you.

I like the way you move

Ugh, it’s been a bit of a week. And to top it all off, last night my internet and phone both went out for hours (oh, the joy of Comast). But they’re both back, at least for now. So I’ve decided that I’m going to let Emma Watson kiss it and make it all better. What? She is 19 now. Stop judging me! And because it has really, really been that kind of a week, I’ve decided that still images just aren’t enough today. So with that, it’s alive! Alive!

Emma Watson

Gosh, that does feel better.

Elizabeth Mitchell

Oh to have her look at me like that, just once.

Agent Sarah Walker

More like Agent Sarah Crawler!

Joan Holloway

Inappropriate workplace thoughts in 5, 4, 3, 2…

Rachel Maddow

The adorkability, it burns!

Ahhh, much better. Something about watching hot, smart, funny, hot women over and over and over and over and over. What? I’m sorry, was I talking? I think I got a little hypnotized there for a second. It’s just something about watching hot, smart, funny, hot women over and over and over and over…

Note: I know the cutehotadorablehotfunnyhot is irresistible, but if you want to share please save and upload instead of hotlink. Thanks.

Such a pill

OK, so remember how I was just saying I wasn’t worried about Emma Watson ? Uhm, I take it back. Here she is at the “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” premiere in Hollywood. At first glance she looks adorable, right? Simple, age-appropriate, stylish and…wait…what the hell? This is what those Fug Girls would call “The Scroll Down.” It looks like Emma has gone and pasted the entire contents of her medicine cabinet on the waist of her dress. For the love of Hogwarts, why? Is this some sort of sly social commentary on our pill-popping culture and its hedonistic excesses? Or, instead, is this a not-so-subtle warning that the goody-goody actress isn’t nearly as sweet and innocent as she seems. Either way, you just known Lindsay Lohan is kicking herself and saying, “Damn, glue your stash to your dress! Why didn’t I think of that?”

My Weekend Crush

OK. Before you start calling me nasty names, storming my house with torches and pitchforks and alerting Chris Hansen, let me explain. Not all my crushes are necessarily lustful. I am not suggesting anything improper with Miss Watson. I’m not trying to over sexualize a 17-year-old girl and frown vigorously upon the rampant objectification of young women in our society. Instead, what intrigues me about Emma is the promise of a brilliant woman primed to emerge from the girl we’ve watched grow up these last six years. I have the same feeling about her I had back in 1994 when I first saw a then 13-year-old Natalie Portman in “The Professional.” Something along the lines of, “Wow, in about 10 years that girl is really going to be amazing.”

When I see an impressive young woman anywhere, I smile at the potential that awaits the passage of time. And I am happy that unlike so many of the false idols out there for young girls to worship, Emma seems to genuinely have her head screwed on straight and her priorities in order. She is serious about her studies. She hasn’t disparaged any other actresses’ private parts or stolen their skanky boyfriends. And she appears intent on carving out a career of substance, regardless of the path she picks after her Harry Potter days are over. It’s young women like Emma who give me hope for our popular culture which too often treasures trash over talent, salaciousness over smarts. So thank you, Emma. And call me in, say, 10 years. I’ll be near midlife crisis by then and ready for a 20-something hottie and a sports cars. Hey, it worked for Melissa Etheridge. Happy weekend, all.

Little Miss Smarty Pants

Oh dear, this could be trouble. Repeat after me, “She is only 16! She is only 16!! She is only 16!!!” Must keep thoughts pure. Must not think about her coyly cocked eyebrow. Must not focus on her delightfully askew necktie. Must not fixate on the tantalizing top button of her cardigan. No! Stop! So very wrong! In my defense, Emma Watson turns 17 in two weeks. But, 17 isn’t 18. And 18 is still way (way, way, way) too young.

I blame the smart girl factor. Now, I have no idea if Emma is, indeed, a smart girl like her Harry Potter character Hermione Granger. But she plays one so convincingly, I’m going to go with yes. You see, I have a weakness for smart girls. They make my knees wobble and my tongue tie. Thank God she isn’t wearing any Tina Fey glasses, because then all hope would be lost. Lord, she is young. I must now go wash my brain out with soap.

Deconstructing Harry

Damn. Look at Harry Potter! My how he's grown. Still a little pale, but wow. The boy wizard is turning into the boy stud. Pictures from "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" hit the internet today. The film will open July 2007. I have to say while Daniel Radcliffe has changed the most, Emma Watson is no slouch either. Girl looks good. And I'm now going directly to hell for thinking that because she is like 16 years old. Yes, directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200.