Gender Fuck Thursday

Yes, yes. I know. This is a lot of Charlize for one week. But I just cannot resist a crisp white shirt and a pair of suspenders. They go together like peanut butter and jelly. The moon and stars. The Captain and Tennille. OK, you see where I’m going with this. And while they’re perfectly nice by themselves (well, I don’t know about The Captain – he seems needy), together something special happens. And that something is hot. Really hot. But you don’t have to trust me. Just trust Charlize & Co.

Emma WatsonIf Hermione looked like this she would have watched softball instead of Quidditch.

Diane KrugerThe tuxedo shirt and bow ties says business. The sleeveless arms say parrrrr-tay.

Kate MoennigShhh. Don’t speak. You’ll ruin the religious experience.

Winona RyderWell, I didn’t say you had to button the shirt.

Kristen BellOr that the shirt had to have any buttons, period.

Rachel MaddowNow comes the part in the religious experience where you should be leaving small offerings as a sign of respect.

Keira KnightleyOK, fine. She’s not wearing a crisp white shirt. My bad.

The sin of sloth

I have never watched “Veronica Mars.” I know, I know. Stop yelling at me. I mean it. Stop. Hey, hey – the fetid fruit is totally uncalled for. Many, many people have already told me, commanded me, implored me to watch, and I just simply have not found the time. This, however, does not mean I have not taken the time to admire and appreciate Kristen Bell. Quite on the contrary, I find her quite nice. But, yesterday, that quire nice got stepped up to epically adorable. Because this is Kristen Bell unable to contain her joy at the fact that a sloth would be at her birthday party. If another event remotely that ridiculously cute, bordering on flat-out insane happens on “Veronica Mars,” I need to run out and but the box set immediately.

Picture perfect

KITTENS! Did you miss me? I missed you! So much! Like crazy! I had an aces vacation though. I got to see Italy for the very first time. I got to wade into the Mediterranean Sea for the very first time. I ate pretty much every carb I could find across five countries. I learned that instead of exchanging our worthless dollars for Euros, Americans should just bring suitcases full of Converse and Coca-Cola to barter with instead. And, of course, I took lots and lots of pictures. Pictures of the beautiful Tuscan landscape. Pictures of the impossibly azure water. Pictures of food, glorious food. And, yes, even a few pictures of myself. (If you’re so inclined, you can catch a few of my holiday snaps over at Ms. Snarker Regrets.) What I learned is that taking good pictures is hard and that I should probably stick to this word thing. But that’s not to dissuade others from lifting a lens. And, if the lady behind said lens happens to be lovely herself – like the luscious Rosario Dawson – well, all the better. Say cheese, darlings.

Marion CotillardLight, camera, drool.

Naomi WattsMy what a big…lens you have. Yes, lens, definitely lens.

Diane KrugerThis is exactly how I looked reviewing my vacation pictures in the hotel room. And by “exactly,” I mean that I too had a suitcase and a camera.

Kristen BellSome Kristens seen perennially sunny in front of a camera.

Kristen StewartSome do not.

Helena Bonham CarterOh, Helena, if I was wearing that outfit I’d insist on being the one behind the camera as well.

Penelope CruzThere should, however, be some sort of law that Penelope only gets to be on the receiving end of a camera lens.

Mena SuvariWhere’d she go? Remember when she was everywhere?

Drew BarrymoreHey, it’s Thursday. And nothing says, “Welcome back from vacation,” like a little Gender Fuck.

It’s good to be back, kittens. It’s good to be back.

Naked Lady Monday

Kittens! Did you miss me? It seems like ages since I’ve given you a proper post because, well, it’s been ages since I’ve given you a proper post. But now my interwebs is back and my vacation is over, the sleep deprivation in the name of hot can recommence. So, because it’s Monday, and because I love you, how about a little Naked Lady Monday to ease us all back into the routine? I’ll take that little bit of drool I see as a yes. Though, I should really call it Nekkid Lady Monday today. Naked is just taking your clothes off; nekkid is taking your clothes off to do something naughty. Ahem. And with that, let’s all get nekkid. [Obviously, kinda NSFW, but you know you can’t resist...and if you feel particularly brave at work, click any and all to enlarge.]

Olivia WildeSarah ShahiCarla GuginoSalma HayekEmma ThompsonKristen BellAngelina JolieAdmit it; you kind of miss the old crazy, I'll kiss my brother, I'll bite a horse Angelina.

Tank Top Tuesday

I am decidedly not blonde. This isn’t the beginning of a bad blonde joke or any such hair color-based disparagement; it’s just a fact. I’ve also never dated a blonde. Not that I have anything against blondes. Hello, Jodie Foster. Sit a little closer, Kate Winslet. Don’t be shy, Leisha Hailey. I’ve heard that blondes have more fun. Also, gentlemen prefer them. But what I know for sure is that whenever I see blonde locks and tank tops, I automatically think summer. And, gosh, who doesn’t like summer?

Mary McCormack

Naomi WattsKristen BellKristen WiigUma ThurmanKristin ChenowethElisha CuthbertScarlett JohanssonElisabeth RohmPortia de Rossi[Click each to embiggen...hey, no blonde jokes!]

Kristen Bell’s mad skillz

So Kristen Bell debuts on “Heroes” next week. In honor of her impending arrival, I give you a little sneak peek at her power. Can you guess what it is? Super strength? Regeneration? Flight? No, no and not so much. If you look closely, you’ll see that her real power is something much more, uh, handy. That’s right, her special skill is the power of lesbian persuasion.
Look out, world. The Super Lesbian Recruiter is here, she’s queer, and she’s coming for your daughters. OK, fine, so maybe that isn’t her “official” power. But you could see how I could get confused by all of these shots of Kristen and Hayden Panettiere together. Seriously, those girls can’t keep their hands off of each other.
Though, after hearing what Kristen had to say about her character Elle to TV Guide, I think I might actually not be that far off:

“She’s a little messed up in the head, which makes her manipulative and out to get what she wants….She very much enjoys her power and the emotional power it gives her over other people…There’s a very interesting dynamic between her and Claire, in terms of what is and what is not. There’s a deeper relationship there than people are expecting.”

Called it! Damn, now that would make me start watching again.