Photobomb the system

Grab your flak jacket. Throw on a helmet. It’s time to get photobombed. One of my favorite photos from this year’s Emmys wasn’t a SGALGG moment (because there were precious few to be found, and trust me I looked). No, it was an explosively awesome photobomb by my No. 1 Fake TV Wife Tina Fey. While one might say I am predisposed to think everything Tina does is explosively awesome (and one would be right), I think even under the casual, objective observer would be hard pressed to think differently. Tina photobombing Amy Poehler, Martha Plimpton and Mark Burnett at the Governor’s Ball ranks among my all-time favorite celebrity photobombs. But, of course, there are others. So in the spirit of silliness, please enjoy a few of my favorite celebrity photobombs. Beware celebrities: No matter how hard you pose, another celebrity might sneak in and drop a hilarity grenade.

Sasha Alexander by Edoardo PontiGetting photobombed by your husband? Awkward.

Lucy Lawless & Rob Tapert by Renee O'ConnorGabrielle photobombing Xena? That has to be the start of a fan-fic somewhere.

Taylor Swift by Daniel CraigThis photobomb is shaken, not stirred.

Justin Timberlake & Olivia Wilde by Hugh LaurieHouse has about a million N’Sync jokes running through his head.

Catherine Zeta-Jones & Angelina Jolie by Michael DouglasThis is less of a photobomb and more of a wishful thinking.

Perez Hilton & Amber Riley by Lea MicheleSee, Lea doesn’t always pose for photos the same way.

Sandra Oh & Thomas Haden Church by Paul GiamattiPaul did this because they made him drink Merlot.

Ang Lee & Uma Thurman by Jake GyllenhaalOne of the all-time classic photobombs. Drink responsibly, kids.

Tina Fey by her daughter, AliceWhat can I say, like mother, like daughter.

p.s. “Parks & Recreation” is back tonight on NBC, so watch it y’all or Ron Swanson will photobomb all your future formal portraits.

Tank Top Tuesday

Coming off a long, lazy three-day weekend, I have to admit that I’m just not ready for the formality of business attire. So, I’m not gonna even try. Instead, let’s revel in the casual charm of the tank top. I mean, look at Keira Knightley. Does she look even remotely interested in going into the office? Whether working out, working hard or hardly working, it’s simply the best way to ease into any work week – abbreviated or not. Thanks, ladies, for reminding us that the tank top is always the preferred attire when…

…running errands, like Hilary Swank.Of course, she is taking that “running” part a little too literally. Overachiever.

…walking the dogs, like Olivia Wilde.Never before have I meant it more sincerely when I’ve said, “Lucky dogs!”

…walking a dog and a baby, like Jessical Biel.Sheesh, another overachiever.

…checking your cell, like Evangeline Lilly.If only it had GPS, this whole “Lost” thing could have been over a whole lot quicker.

…rubbing in your ability to sunbath to your undead boyfriend, like Anna Paquin.Does anyone else have to fight the urge to scream “SOOKEH!” whenever you see her?

…considering just how hot it will be to co-star with Eliza Dushku, like Summer Glau.Joss Whedon is a total babe magnet.

…relaxing before killing Bill, like Uma Thurman & Zoe Bell.Behold the beauty of always having a spare.

…arm wrestling, like Rose McGowan & Rosario Dawson.Clearly they’re wrestling to see who has to take a shower first. I call it a draw and say they shower together. Compromise is truly a beautiful thing.

Tank Top Tuesday

I know, I know. These are paparazzi pictures. And I know, I know. Paparazzi are bad. But I'm not posting these shots of stars out and about as an encouragement to stalker shutterbugs. Instead I consider these images important documentation of wild tank tops in their natural habitat. As such they also serve as a valuable public service announcement. Ladies: Wear more tank tops. Heading to the gym? Tank top. Heading out shopping? Tank top. Headed to the airport? Tank top. Doctor's office? Dog park? Jail? Tank top, tank top, tank top (hey, tank tops pair nicely with orange jumpsuits). Consider it doing your doing you part to help beautify the world. Trust me, the world will thank you. At the very least, I'll thank you. So ends this public service announcement.

PinkTank tops and biker hear, a match made in hog heaven.

Halle BerryA tank top with an easy-access zipper? Genius!

Michelle RodriguezTanks look great out of the closet – just a suggestion.

Cynthia NixonSee, I told you they looked great out of the closet.

Natalie PortmanTanking and texting: Like walking and chewing gum, but so much hotter.

Kate BeckinsaleScientific proof that tank tops make you frisky, or is that friskable. Same difference.

Shakira and Penelope CruzBFFs + TTs = Best Math Ever

Uma ThurmanTank dresses totally count.

Anne HathawayFine, tube tops don't count, but because of her adorkable headphones I've made an exception.

Tricia Helfer and Katee SackhoffRemember what I was saying about biker gear and tank tops? Double it.

Jessica BielNow that, that is how you fill out a tank top...Period. Full stop. End of discussion.

Tank Top Tuesday

I am decidedly not blonde. This isn’t the beginning of a bad blonde joke or any such hair color-based disparagement; it’s just a fact. I’ve also never dated a blonde. Not that I have anything against blondes. Hello, Jodie Foster. Sit a little closer, Kate Winslet. Don’t be shy, Leisha Hailey. I’ve heard that blondes have more fun. Also, gentlemen prefer them. But what I know for sure is that whenever I see blonde locks and tank tops, I automatically think summer. And, gosh, who doesn’t like summer?

Mary McCormack

Naomi WattsKristen BellKristen WiigUma ThurmanKristin ChenowethElisha CuthbertScarlett JohanssonElisabeth RohmPortia de Rossi[Click each to embiggen...hey, no blonde jokes!]

Uma, Rorschach. Rorschach, Uma.

INT. PSYCHIATRIST’S OFFICE - DAY.

THE SHRINK PEERS OVER DARK-RIMMED GLASSES AND PICKS UP A PIECE OF PAPER. SHE HAD A CHEESY THICK EASTERN-EUROPEAN ACCENT BECAUSE, HECK, WHY NOT?

SHRINK
I vant you to look carevully at dis image. Look deeply, let your eyes vander, let your mind relax. Now, vat do you see?

SNARKER
Uhm, a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains?

SHRINK
(tersely)
Vell, if you’re not going to take dis seriously, I’m not sure vhy ve are here. Let us try again. Ja. So, vat do you see?

SNARKER
Uhm, Uma Thurman looking at a herd of beautiful wild ponies running free across the plains?

FADE TO BLACK.

The End.

What? I don’t test well. But, really, after looking at Uma’s photoshoot for AnOther magazine, how could you not think Rorschach inkblot test?

Also, what’s the deal with the butterflies? Seriously, they’re starting to freak me out. Now I really do need a shrink.

p.s. Bonus points if you get the “wild ponies” reference. Seriously, we might have to start going steady.

UPDATE: Wow, you are all now officially my girlfriends. Well, except for Ida. We’re just going to keep doing our hot, steamy RSS-action thing on the side. p.s. Jane and Daria were totally doing it. At least, in my head they were.

Foxy Friday

It’s Friday, so let’s fox things up a bit. I call these photos my black is the new sexy collection. Click any of the images to enlarge. I highly suggest you do, for purely academic purposes, of course. Heck, Jodie thinks you should, too. See how she keeps pointing to the one she likes best. So without further ado:

Do A Little Dance

Make a little love, get down tonight, get down tonight. And in heels, no less. [hat tip, cappuccino girl and Nea!]

Sheer Fabric Rocks

Uma learns the hard way that sheer fabric + camera flashes = nipplepalooza.

God Bless America

Damn, girl’s got curves for days. Just call her Cleavage-y Betty.

The Three Sexies

Julianne, Maggie and Kate give The Three Graces a run for their money in the hottie department.

p.s. Thanks ever so much for the blog love anna, sphygmo, alien queen, et al. Though now I’ve come down with a severe case of the warm and fuzzies. Whatever shall I do? Good thing I have the weekend to recuperate and get back to full snark.