Photobomb the system

Grab your flak jacket. Throw on a helmet. It’s time to get photobombed. One of my favorite photos from this year’s Emmys wasn’t a SGALGG moment (because there were precious few to be found, and trust me I looked). No, it was an explosively awesome photobomb by my No. 1 Fake TV Wife Tina Fey. While one might say I am predisposed to think everything Tina does is explosively awesome (and one would be right), I think even under the casual, objective observer would be hard pressed to think differently. Tina photobombing Amy Poehler, Martha Plimpton and Mark Burnett at the Governor’s Ball ranks among my all-time favorite celebrity photobombs. But, of course, there are others. So in the spirit of silliness, please enjoy a few of my favorite celebrity photobombs. Beware celebrities: No matter how hard you pose, another celebrity might sneak in and drop a hilarity grenade.

Sasha Alexander by Edoardo PontiGetting photobombed by your husband? Awkward.

Lucy Lawless & Rob Tapert by Renee O'ConnorGabrielle photobombing Xena? That has to be the start of a fan-fic somewhere.

Taylor Swift by Daniel CraigThis photobomb is shaken, not stirred.

Justin Timberlake & Olivia Wilde by Hugh LaurieHouse has about a million N’Sync jokes running through his head.

Catherine Zeta-Jones & Angelina Jolie by Michael DouglasThis is less of a photobomb and more of a wishful thinking.

Perez Hilton & Amber Riley by Lea MicheleSee, Lea doesn’t always pose for photos the same way.

Sandra Oh & Thomas Haden Church by Paul GiamattiPaul did this because they made him drink Merlot.

Ang Lee & Uma Thurman by Jake GyllenhaalOne of the all-time classic photobombs. Drink responsibly, kids.

Tina Fey by her daughter, AliceWhat can I say, like mother, like daughter.

p.s. “Parks & Recreation” is back tonight on NBC, so watch it y’all or Ron Swanson will photobomb all your future formal portraits.

Baby, it's cold outside

Look, I know Tuesday is traditionally tank top day. But, dude, it’s winter. While it pains me to say this, it’s way too damn cold for tank tops. So instead today let’s celebrate the warm and snuggly. Cold weather clothes can be hot, too. Well, the people wearing them can be hot – and toasty. And just because you’ve got on mittens and scarves doesn’t mean you have to deprive the world of the really good stuff. To which I say, bless you, Lauren Graham.

Olivia WildeCourteney CoxKeri RussellSandra OhVirginia MadsenLena HeadeyAmy PoehlerAmerica FerreraTina FeyClea DuVallAnna Torv

Look at Anna, so cute and tiny in her gianormous jacket. Don’t you just want to take her home, sit her by the fire and serve her hot cocoa? Or, you know, yourself. Whatever is handy.

Tank Top Tuesday

Oh, thank God, TV is back. Look, I like the summer cable shows as much as the next gal. But there comes a point when you want your main squeezes back. And this is that point. “Glee” is already back, Thursday sees the return of “Bones” and “Fringe” and the rest of the shows start back up soon. Gosh, I just feel like hugging all of my faithful female favorites with my legs in friendship. And if they’re wearing a tank top while it happens, well, even better.

Michaela ConlinBones premieres Sept. 17

Jennifer MorrisonHouse premieres Sept. 21

Cote de PabloNCIS premieres Sept. 22

Mariska HargitayLaw & Order: SVU premieres Sept. 23

Sandra OhGrey’s Anatomy premieres Sept. 24

Marg HelgenbergerCSI premiere Sept. 24

Summer GlauDollhouse premieres Sept. 25

Yvonne StrahovskiChuck premieres March 2010

Bonus: Dude, it’s really hard to find a picture of Anna Torv in a tank top. But here is one of her pantless; hope that makes up for it.

Emmys on the Rocks

What do you call five Emmy hosts and not one single laugh? The first eight minutes of last night's Emmy Awards telecast. And when I say not one single laugh, I mean the sound you'd hear in a black hole. And it got a whole lot worse before it got a whole lot better. And, when I say a whole lot better, I mean Tina Fey. Once, twice, three times a Tina Fey. What? You thought I'd miss an opportunity to rave about my gal? Again? Sheesh, it's like you don't even know me at all. But more on her later.

The Emmys are, at best, Oscar's less flashy younger sister. At worst they're the wicked stepsister Oscar can't uninvite from Thanksgiving dinner. Last night's show started out in stepsister territory and was only saved from a permanent banishment from all future family gatherings by some deserving winners. No, I'm not talking automatic-for-the-Emmy winners like Jeremy Piven (third consecutive, really? Though his zing on the uber-lame Emmy opening bit redeemed him a tad). Speaking of the five-headed hosting monster of Bergeron-Klum-Mandel-Probst-Seacrest, I've seen more chemistry in a bag of Pop Rocks.

And while I'm on the topic, whoever had the bright idea to have two men literally rip the clothes off of Heidi Klum should be fired. No, wait, they should first be paraded into a public square and have their clothes ripped off. Then they should be fired. I'd expect some terrible, not to mention terribly sexist (the real kind, not the Palin variety), stunt on “Who Wants to Marry America's Most Eligible Pirate Whisperer,” but never on a show that is actually supposed to award excellence.

Now I will try to forget the night's copious blerg-worthy bits and only think the happy thoughts the night's most deserving winners gave me. A salute to the people who made losing those three hours of my life called the Emmy Awards seem almost worth it.

Glenn Close: Best Actress in a Drama

“We're proving that complicated, powerful, mature women are sexy in high entertainment and can carry a show. I call us the sisterhood of the TV drama divas.” Darn tooting!

Sandra Oh: Emmy Presenter/Nominee

“My parents couldn't be prouder, unless I actually was a doctor.” Oh, Sandra, please don't let that stop you from playing naughty doctor with me whenever you want.

Laura Linney: Best Actress in a Miniseries/Movie

The woman who played Abigail Adams thanks all the “community organizers who helped form our country.” Yes, she can...go there. p.s. Is it just me or does Laura totally look like Laurel Holloman's long-lost sister here?

Stephen Colbert: Outstanding Writing for a Variety/Music/Comedy Program

His bit equating McCain with prunes later in the night was great, but what was best was watching a truly humbled and honored Colbert accept the trophy. Person/character, character/person. Now I can't wait to see the character crow about it next week.

Tina Fey: Queen of Fucking Everything
(Best Comedy Writing, Actress, Series)

Oh, kittens. From her proclamation of “Oh, nerds” when she won her first award of the night (for writing) to her thanking of her parents for “raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities. Well done. That is what all parents should do” (while winning for acting) and her recitation of all the places online and TV you can watch “30 Rock” (watch, dammit, watch!) she alone made those three hours of my life worth it. Plus, did you see her holding hands with Amy Poehler when she came on to present? Commence femslash in 5-4-3-2-1...

[Click any to enlarge, especially that last one.]

p.s. I cannot possibly overemphasize how much the show (minus its winners) both sucked and blew. Wretched, utterly wretched.

Naked Lady Monday

The other day while scanning my site stats (I am huge in Luxembourg, HUGE) I checked to see the latest, hilarious search terms people were Googling to land here (“Hillary Clinton femslash” is my all-time personal favorite). That day I found someone who happened upon the site while searching “classy nude lady.” So today, as a public service, let me unequivocally say: “Internets, I've got your classy nude ladies right here!” Ahem. Also, to the person who arrived by asking “how do I know if my yogurt is bad,” my advice would be to smell it. Please, world, no need to thank me. I'm just happy to help.

Mariska HargitayAnnie LennoxMary-Louise ParkerSandra OhChloe SevignyElizabeth PerkinsNaomi WattsGina GershonGabrielle Union