They brought back the world

The thing about Joss Whedon is that in his heart he is a romantic with a stubborn apocalyptic streak. He likes to tear things apart to see if they can be put back together again. Lovers. Sunnydale. Civilization. The “Dollhouse” finale Friday night was classic Joss filled with tragedy, redemption, sacrifice and love. People died in a flash, no lingering just gone. But in the end, she saved the world (but just this once).

Everyone involved with “Dollhouse” should be proud of what they’ve created – grand, complex and at times messy television that was never afraid of big ideas. It’s stunning to think how far the show came in just two short seasons. From what sexy mission can we send Eliza on this week to the end of the world as we know it. It wasn’t always seamless and at times it was like watching “The Secret Diary of a Brainwashed Call Girl.” But those of us who trusted in Joss where richly rewarded.

“Epitaph Two: Return” was a brilliant leap of faith with the viewers. If you hadn’t seen the first season DVD bonus episode “Epitaph One,” you’d be as lost as the dumbshows wandering the streets. But Joss & Co. knew we’d happily jump with them. With a ride this good, we had no choice. Still, it’s hard to think of what we’ll never get to see because of the show’s abbreviated run. (Like, when did Alpha turn good? Why did Priya and Tony split? How exactly did the tech bring about the apocalypse?) But in a way, not having time focused the show down to its most essential, urgent stories.

And, you’ve got to hand it to Joss, he slipped in a lesbian for us ladies after all. Sure, it came in the very last episode ever. But anyone who makes Felicia Day gay is genius. For those who missed the references, Felica’s character Meg tells Zone that “the little Asian’s kind of cute.” And that “little Asian” happens to be a girl.

(p.s. Here’s the cute little Asian in question, played by “Dollhouse” writer Maurissa Tancharoen.)

Though, in hindsight, we should have know. I mean, it was so obvious. Two words: Cargo pants.

Later, Meg goes to the cute little Asian’s room while they’re both convalescing. And for her part, cutie was majorly enamored with Echo and her abilities, so I think Meg might have a shot. Dammit, Fox. Look what you missed out on by canceling this show: hot lesbian hookups. Idiots.

I guess in the end I’m just happy to have been able to watch a show that, while never perfect, was always bold, brave and brimming with strong, smart and sexy women. Even if it was only for a little while.

Tank Top Tuesday

So last week the sad yet inevitable news came that “Dollhouse” was done. Sure, the writing was on the wall. But to know it’ll be gone for good is just – deep sigh. At least we get to see all 13 episodes from this season. Fox at least gave us that. Now, I could go on and on about what a shame this is. Joss Whedon does best when his creations have room to grow – to deepen, to fumble, to evolve. The show was, indeed, getting better with almost every episode. Was it perfect? No. But it was always ambitious and never dull. Television that dares to ask the big questions – like about the soul and free will and the very nature of existence – is a rare and wonderful thing. I suppose I am thankful that we got two seasons at all. And I am equally thankful for the opportunity to get to know and further appreciate the women of “Dollhouse.” They are all talented and lovely and I will miss visiting with them on Friday nights. So, how better to send them off than as nature (and Joss, judging by their attire on the show) intended than in tank tops. And yes, sports bras totally count as tank tops.

Eliza DushkuCome back and kick ass on my TV anytime you want, honey.

Dichen LachmanThe tank top in lieu of pants is always, always a good choice.

Miracle Laurie

It’s a crime they didn’t put Mellie/November/Madeline in more tank tops. A crime, I say.

Olivia WilliamsMe! Me! Lasso me!

Summer GlauSpeak softly and carry a big-ass gun.
[Catch Summer’s first appearance when “Dollhouse” returns for its final run Dec. 4]

Amy Acker

In my defense, I think that scrap of cloth masquerading as a top actually used to be a tank top.

My Weekend Crush

Of the many, many delicious things bout Eliza Dushku, I think the most delicious of all is her confidence. The girl has swagger – and I mean that in the best possible way. Confidence does not automatically equate cockiness. Instead, she seems completely comfortable in her own body. Of course, with a body like Eliza’s how could you not feel great? Having followed her for a while now on Twitter, I find her even more interesting for her lack of artifice. In real life she seems considerably girlier than her famous Faith alter ego, also less apt to knife play. She also appears to have a big heart and boundless enthusiasm for the world. And this age of cynicism, that stands out.

She is a person who uses “yo” unironically, jets off to Italy with her brother for a weekend and cheers unapologetically for all things Boston. And she does it all from a place of genuine enjoyment of her life. And why shouldn’t she enjoy her life? She is on one of the most intriguing new shows of the past few years. “Dollhouse” has grown into its potential after a tenuous start in its first, short season. With its second season premieres tonight, I can’t wait to see what Joss & Co. dream up for Echo. Because in a world where you can be anyone, who are you really? The implications on life, death, freewill and the soul are endless. And, even if none of life’s more profound questions interest you, there is always Eliza in leather pants. Now that, my friends, is just damn fine television. Happy weekend, all.

Tank Top Tuesday

Oh, thank God, TV is back. Look, I like the summer cable shows as much as the next gal. But there comes a point when you want your main squeezes back. And this is that point. “Glee” is already back, Thursday sees the return of “Bones” and “Fringe” and the rest of the shows start back up soon. Gosh, I just feel like hugging all of my faithful female favorites with my legs in friendship. And if they’re wearing a tank top while it happens, well, even better.

Michaela ConlinBones premieres Sept. 17

Jennifer MorrisonHouse premieres Sept. 21

Cote de PabloNCIS premieres Sept. 22

Mariska HargitayLaw & Order: SVU premieres Sept. 23

Sandra OhGrey’s Anatomy premieres Sept. 24

Marg HelgenbergerCSI premiere Sept. 24

Summer GlauDollhouse premieres Sept. 25

Yvonne StrahovskiChuck premieres March 2010

Bonus: Dude, it’s really hard to find a picture of Anna Torv in a tank top. But here is one of her pantless; hope that makes up for it.

Vacation Vixen

Following @ElizaPatricia is kind of a hoot. She tweets like a girlier, do-goodier, less-lethaler Faith. Also, go Boston, yo.

Good, TV, good

Every so often, the TV gods smile down upon us mere mortals. This weekend was one of those every so-s. “Dollhouse” reactivated. “Chuck” saved. Add those to the earlier renewal of “Fringe” and you have that most-rare of Hollywood occurrences: a group of television executives deciding interesting TV is more important than low ratings. Certainly, this gesture of good will from the almighty rules of the idiot box did not come without sacrifice. “Pushing Daisies.” “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.” Still I guess given the unexpected benevolence they showed this weekend we should be happy no small animals or virgins were hurt in the process. Though, seriously, anything that keeps this kind of television coming back week after week deserves some kind of offering in respect. I’d totally be willing to push Glenn Beck or Bill O’Reilly into a volcano as a token of my appreciation. Say the word, TV gods, say the word.

Chuck

Sarah Sizzles, I melt.

Dollhouse

Way to beat the network into submission.

Fringe

She kissed a girl, I liked it.

Say goodnight, Caroline

Well, well, well. Joss Whedon, you old son of a gun. You’ve done it again. You’ve thoroughly engaged me in a series that is thought-provoking, action-packed and awesomely-empowered (well, as empowered as a brainwashed, reprogrammed, self-enlisted slaves can get). In just 12 quick episodes, “Dolllhouse” has woven a convincing alternate universe while wrapping our mind grapes around some of real life’s biggest questions. What is free will? What is a soul? What is reality? What kind of workout does Eliza Dushku do to look that banging in all those tiny tight outfits?

I won’t lie; I wasn’t completely sold at first. Certainly, I was intrigued. But it wasn’t quite clicking, the leap of faith was too great. Still I will always, always give Joss the benefit of the doubt when it comes to good TV. So then in the middle – exact middle, episode 6 to be precise – I felt like at last it all came together. That’s when the pathos became palpable and I started to care about what happened to Echo and the Dollhouse. It’s also when that old Joss magic returned and we finally got the blend of poignancy, hilarity and ass-kickery.

So, now, the finale. [Spoilers ahead, so if you haven’t watched the episode yet – damn, what are you waiting for?] Not too many shows can surprise me, but I was genuinely shocked several times this season. And the Dr. Claire Saunders/Whiskey Tango Foxtrot situation was the biggest. Holy mind fuck, Batman. So the good doctor was first an active named Whiskey who used to be the Dollhouse’s No. 1 until Alpha took a pair of scissors to her face so that his obsessive crush Echo could be No. 1 instead and after the attack gets imprinted with the memories of the house’s real Dr. Saunders, who just happened to be one of Alpha’s other victims during that same murderous spree, and now she has become aware of the fact that she is not really who she thought she was but a doll, like the people she considers her charges. Whew, say that sentence all in one breath, I dare you.

And, while we’re on the topic, can we get a “Hell, yeah!” for Amy Acker? While meek and adorable were her calling cards as Fred on “Angel,” she has brought a beautiful melancholy and seething disgust to her portrayal of the damaged (and now we realize totally unreal) Dr. Saunders. One of my great disappointments (and there will be many) if “Dollhouse” isn’t given a second season is that we’ll never get to see how Claire handles her new, totally fucked-up self awareness. Also, it would mean we’d never get to see Amy Acker in leather pants on the show again. That would be wrong, Fox, very wrong.

Really, all of the supporting cast has been excellent. Olivia Williams as DeWitt showed vulnerability under the steel. Dichen Lachman as Sierra has given Eliza a run for her money in the kicking ass and taking names department. And Miracle Laurie as Mellie/November kept breaking my heart. As happy and (once again) shocked as I was to see that Agent Ballard bartered her freedom from the Dollhouse, I’m also sad because it means the no more Miracle if the show continues. It also means the last person who isn’t a size 0 has left the series.

And on a somewhat similar note, while some have grumbled about the skimpiness of the outfits (particularly Eliza’s) in promos and throughout the season, it’s still as feminist a show as you’ll find out there filled with strong, complex, interesting and essential female characters. And it’s a show that delivers lines like, “To ascend to anything, at minimum, you don’t cut up women,” with unparalleled conviction.

Seriously, Fox, save Dollhouse. Don’t make me do the equivalent of a Save Chuck campaign because a chair that wipes away all of your memories and implants you with entirely new ones is a lot harder to buy than a Subway sandwich. So, thoughts ladies and discerning gentlemen? Did you feel welcomed to this Dollhouse?

Naked Allure

I will always love naked ladies. Come one, no brainer. And naked Padma? I am her cheeseburger of love. But – and it almost pains me to say this – this year's Allure The Naked Truth photoshoot leaves me a little cold. Make no mistake, I love the subject matter. Padma Lakshmi, Eliza Dushku, Chelsea Handler and two women I've never heard of but look great in their birthday suits (Lynn Collins and Sharon Leal). Yay, nakedness, yay!

But for a series that claims to be about naked truths, Allure sure spent a lot of time Photoshopping all semblance of truthfulness or sensual nakedness out of the pictures. The photos are, of course, tasteful. And I wouldn't want it any other way. Naked doesn't have to mean tawdry. But these are so extremely airbrushed and expertly lit that what is so sexy about the female body – namely its raw curves and gentle imperfections – seems to be missing. [Click any and all to enlarge]

For real sizzle, you need to read the ladies' accompanying interviews.

Like what does Padma wear to bed:

“I tend to sleep in the nude. I'm an innately tactile person and a very sensual-leaning woman. You have to use the word 'leaning' or it sounds like I'm boasting! When I'm in my own private space, I do spend time with very little on.”

Or why it's important to knock before entering Eliza's trailer:

“I'll strip down to my underwear and my Ugg boots when I eat lunch in my trailer.”

I'm getting a mental picture. I'm getting mental picture. And...I'm back.

But when it comes to the real pictures the ladies look too great, almost inhuman. Now I know folks were troubled by Dara Torres' Got Milk? Photoshopping last week. And while I agree that she was buffed and polished to a high gloss, I think all best bits were still 100 percent her. But here, while I have no doubt that these ladies all look otherworldly without their clothes, they might as well be wax figures. So how, then, is this supposed to make me feel better about my body as it's supposed mission statement proclaims? I don't have an army of makeup artists, lighting specialists and Photoshop whizzes ready to turn me into a glowing goddess.

Can we get just a little realism with our nakedness, please? Allure's naked photos haven't always been so plasticine perfect. But in the last few years the women have looked less womanly and more mannequinely. Fine, so that isn't a word but my body is having a hard time computing my brain's criticism of naked pictures – any naked pictures – of beautiful women. It keeps screaming something like, “Shut up, conscience. They're naked. They're ladies. What's not to like?” OK, fine. I think I'm going to let my body win this one now and shut the hell up. Did I mention Padma is naked? Mmm, naked Padma, mmm.

p.s. Almost forgot the hat tips: Thanks Virgotex, ThinkArt, Beth, Valerie, TJ!

Tank Top Tuesday

What do you call it when Tank Top Tuesday and Naked Lady Monday join forces? You call it Thank You, Eliza Dushku Day, that's what. The promotional campaign for Joss Whedon and Eliza's new sci-fi series “Dollhouse” has been heavy on the T&A – tanks and a lotta Eliza in various states of undress.

Now, normally I might rail against such a blatantly sexualized marketing campaign. I mean, it's not like these photos really help explain the intricate premise of “Dollhouse.” Unless, of course, the show is about Eliza Dushku being naked. In which case, dude, I think they have a hit. But, I'm OK with the campaign for a few reasons. 1. Eliza is OK with the campaign. 2. Joss is OK with the campaign. And 3. The show is about “identity, brainwashing and perversion,” so now all the naked kind of makes sense.

[For the love of God, click to embiggen]

Also exciting is Joss' discussion of sexuality on the show, particularly that “if you don't think that at least a third of the people who hire Actives are not bi-curious, you're naïve.” So, maybe the campaign should have included Eliza in an assortment of bi-curious shoes. Or, who knows, maybe these leather pants like to get drunk at parties and make out with their girlfriends.

As a shameless, unrepentant Joss Whedon fangirl, I can't wait to see what he has up his sleeve for this high-tech human-trafficking morality tale. And as a human with eyes, I thank Eliza.

p.s. While I was worried, at first about the show's Friday night timeslot, I now think coupling it with “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” is kind of genius. Lena, Summer, Eliza and all those tank tops for two solid hours on my TV? I may never leave the house on Fridays again. [Click the HQ button, thank me later]

Tank Top Tuesday

With the embers of the American economy still smoldering at our feet, I think it's time for a little distraction. And what could be more distracting than beautiful women in tank tops? Never mind that Rome is burning, bring on the bread and circuses! I mean, you can't sob uncontrollably at your 401K statement all the time, right? Though – pssst – I've got a hot tip for investors looking for a sure thing during these terribly troubled times. Booze, buy stock in booze. Surely if there is one thing the entire country can agree on right now it's that we all need a drink. So please raise a glass to the lovely ladies of the fall television season. I've rounded up all the new tank-topped promo shots I could find. May they temporarily make you forget that our entire financial system may seize up and die at any moment. Shoot, who cares if the economy is in the tank when you can look at women in tanks? And if all else fails, barkeep, another round on me. And keep 'em coming.

Sarah Shahi, “Life”I still miss Carmen. Luckily, I don't have to miss her tank tops.

Eliza Dushku, “Dollhouse”Never mind the shut downs. In Joss we trust.

Evangeline Lilly, “Lost”Deserted islands don't seem like such a terrible option right now.

Elizabeth Mitchell, “Lost”p.s. Plus who knew they had such a wide tank top selection?

Jessalyn Gilsig & Hayden Panettiere, “Heroes”Looks like Take Your Daughter to Tank Top Day is in full swing.

Natascha McElhone, “Californication”Hank Moody is an idiot.

Michaela Conlin, “Bones”I can't wait to meet Roxie.

Elizabeth Reaser, “The Ex-List”Statistically, at least one of those exes has to be female, right?

Eva La Rue, “CSI: Miami”I hardly recognize her not inexplicably bathed in orange light.

Nadine Velazquez, “My Name is Earl”This isn't technically a tank top. But, look, midriff.

Summer Glau, “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles”TV show titles shouldn't have colons. There, I've said it.

Lena Headey, “T:SCC”p.s Abbreviating it doesn't make the colon any less odious.

Olivia Wilde, “House”A pocket tank? That's officially the gayest thing I've ever seen.