Bullseye, ladies

Archery is hot. I mean, if the Girl on Fire does it, you know it’s got to be hot. But “The Hunger Games” is not the first nor more than likely the last film to bring us female heroines brandishing bows and arrows. Plenty of cinematic and real-life heroines have taken aim with one of mankind’s oldest weapons. And I’ll tell you a little secret about myself, I loved archery growing up. I didn’t do it a lot because I lived in town and my parents had this thing about not accidentally shooting the neighbors and all. But I went to a summer camp a few years in a row and my absolute favorite activity was archery. Something about drawing back that string and feeling the bow flex mixed power, grace and physics in an intoxicating way. I also liked the crisp thump sounds the arrow made as it hit its hay target. So here are a few other ladyies of the longbow to take their place beside Katniss Everdeen.

Keira KnightleyShe picked up a bow as Guinevere in “King Arthur.” I’m not sure how a bare midriff helped her aim, but everyone has her own method I suppose.

Natalie PortmanJust to keep the “Is it Natalie or Keira” confusion going, she did her own movie as bow-and-arrow wielding warrior in “Your Highness.”

Lena HeadeyI’m thinking up a zany crossover movie where Lena’s flower girl Luce from “Imagine Me & You” and huntress Angelika from “The Brothers Grimm” go on a road trip and to rescue fairy tale characters and kiss pretty girls. Fine, admittedly I haven’t thought it through very much.

Anna PopplewellI really loved the “Chronicles of Narnia” growing up, but it wasn’t exactly brimming with strong female heroines. Thank heavens for Susan Pevensie and her trusty bow and arrow.

Jessica Biel“Blade Trinity” was not a good movie. But it did introduce us to Jessica Biel’s magnificent shoulder muscles. And for that the universe will forever be grateful.

Jennifer Garner“Elektra” was not a good movie either. And not even seeing Jennifer prance around in a crime-fighting wardrobe made by Victoria’s Secret could make me thank the universe for it.

Jennifer LawrenceJennifer trained with a four-time Olympian and arching champion for her role in “The Hunger Games.” But I don’t think that’s why all the showings I wanted to go to were sold out this weekend.

Stana KaticDid you know besides speaking like half a dozen languages she also enjoys flamenco, falconry and a little archery on the side? Don’t worry, PETA, I don’t think she practices her archery and falconry at the same time.

Geena DavisGeena is another real-live archer, who even tried out for the 2000 Olympics team. She didn’t make the team, but that’s OK because she already has some gold hardware named Oscar at home.

Lucy LiuI have no idea why she’s using a bow and arrow while wearing this jaunty little outfit, but I entirely approve.

Christina HendricksLikewise, I have no idea why Christina is posing seductively in a spiked leather jacket with a bow and arrows. But, again, not complaining.

Princess MeridaI dork out so hard when I think about this movie, you guys. I am so ready to be “Brave.”

Tank Top Tuesday

Oh, man. Is that a sight for sore eyes. You know how some ladies were kind of made to wear a tank top. And were also made to be on TV. So, how about celebrating some of TV’s best tank top wearers, past and present. Most of these ladies will be coming to a TV near you soon. And for those who aren’t, well, may they will be back in tank tops, I mean, TV where they belong.

Jaime MurrayShe’s coming back to TV in a new show for SyFy, and with Julie Benz. They probably won’t make out on it, but we can dream.

Lena HeadeyShe’ll be back on “Game of Thrones” starting April 1. I still don’t love the blonde hair. But, you know, I’ll cope.

Padma LakshmiEvery time “Top Chef” ends, I feel my TV get sad because she’ll be gone until the next season. Sighhhh.

Janina GavankarShe’ll return to “True Blood” this summer. And as Luna she doesn’t wear stupid hats.

Kaya ScodelarioShe’ll be back on the BBC this spring in a show where she makes out with Billie Piper. “Skins” and Naomily clearly wore off on her.

Summer GlauShe doesn’t have a show she’s coming back to. Seriously. Why has no one put her on another TV show?*
*Apparently she is guesting on Grey's, and filming a pilot. So, huzzah!

Linda HamiltonYeah. Mostly this is an excuse to post Linda and her guns again. But, you know, she was on “Weeds” there for a season. Now don’t bother me, I’m drooling.

Tank Top Tuesday: Global Warming Edition

It’s been an unusually warm winter out here in California. Granted, it’s California. So it’s always going to be warmer in the winter than, say, Minnesota. But still, even for the Golden State it’s a little nuts. Especially up here in Northern California. I mean, it’s supposed to hit the 70s this week. It’s still February, right? I know this should probably be wringing my hands about global warming and our carbon emissions. And – don’t worry, Al Gore – I totally do. But I’m also a tiny bit selfishly grateful for our depleted ozone layer. Because it means ladies are going to break out the tank tops that much faster. Hey, don’t judge me. I recycle.

Troian Bellisario

I’m so behind on my “Pretty Little Liars.” Is Spencer gay yet? Because she should be.

Lena HeadeyRemember when Lena was on that show about robots from the future and she ran around in a lot of tank tops. Yeah, me too.

Olivia WildeRemember when Olivia was on that show about teenagers from The O.C. and she made out with Mischa Barton? Yeah, me too.

Maria BelloOh, “Prime Suspect,” you could have been so damn good.

Halle BerryIt’s been 10 years since she won her Oscar. I know, that is blowing my mind too.

Mila KunisMore movies where you make out with Natalie Portman. Less movies where you make out with Justin Tumberlake. Oh, and don’t even consider making out with Ashton Kutcher again, honey.

Charlize TheronEvery time I see her in a tank top I think, “You know what, $140,000 for a kiss might even be a little low.”

Michelle RodriguezIf I had a dollar for each time Michelle gave a camera this look I’d be able to buy everyone of you a tank top, and then some.

Hope Solo

OK, OK – this isn’t “technically” a tank top. But it sure makes me appreciate warm weather. Also sweat. Also abs. Mmmm, abs.

Right, so maybe our carbon footprint isn’t looking so great. But until the rising oceans swallow all the land, I’m going to enjoy this silver lining while I can.

Tank Top Tuesday

Sure, it’s fall. A lovely crispness has crept into the air. The leaves are showing off with one last colorful hurrah. And soon it’ll be all mittens and scarves. But that doesn’t mean we have to abandon the beauty of the simple, sheer tank top. In fact, I would argue there is no base garment more suited to the layering process thus making it an integral part of any wardrobe through all four seasons. Or, at least that’s how I’m rationalizing it in my head. Also, pretty much every place you go has nice, toasty indoor heating. So, like the indescribably lovely Shelley Conn above, get autumnal with your tank tops to your heart’s content. Just, you know, bring a jacket for when you have to go back outside.

Anna SilkHoly Badass Blue-Eyed Bo, Batman. Super Succubus came out to play, and it was lip-licking good. Check out this week’s “Lost Girl” SnapCap later today on AfterEllen.

Lena HeadeyAs happy as I am to have Lena back on TV on the regular, her new “Game of Thrones” role requires she wear considerably fewer tank tops than her “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” gig did.

Sasha AlexanderAs excited as I am about the return of “Rizzoli & Isles” in two weeks, I’m also nervous. What if I’ve forgotten how to write a good subtext recap? Better pray extra hard to the gayzzoli gods Nov. 28th.

Camila GreySometimes I remember out of the blue that Cam and Leisha like to kiss on planes, and it makes my whole week.

Liv TylerI like that Liv has gotten a tad thicker since her dancing with Alicia Silverstone in her dad’s music videos days. It suits her.

Marsha ThomasonMarsha gets to kiss her gorgeous girlfriend on “White Collar,” and then get kissed by the gorgeous Kat Dennings on “2 Broke Girls.” Some women have all the luck.

Aubrey PlazaNBC is finally making my dream Thursday night happen and airing “30 Rock” and “Parks & Recreation” back-to-back at 8 and 8:30 starting Jan. 12. There is a TV god, and she loves me.

Diane KeatonDid you know Diane Keaton was on Twitter? She tweets some really interesting photos. She has a nice eye. Also nice on the eyes? Vintage Diane in a tank top.

Tank Top Tuesday

Oh, basic white tank top. How simple you are. Yet how undeniably effective. Sure, other colors are also nice. Your blacks. Your blues. Heck, even your reds. But the white tank top, well, it’s just a classic. What it does is really focus our attention on what’s in the tank top, as opposed to the tank itself. The way it hugs the form is almost workmanlike, yet exposes a natural womanliness. It’s the perfect conduit for unadulterated sexiness. Sheer yet still a statement. Right, so are you buying any of this? Have I prattled on for a sufficient amount of time to justify just showing you the hot ladies in white tank tops now? Or have you not heard a single word I’ve said because for the last five minutes you’ve been staring at Naya Rivera with your mouth open and a thin line of drool forming on your chin? I know, two days in a row with the drool on your screens. So perhaps before proceeding today, might I suggest a bib?

Lena HeadeyI’m pretty sure Lena is laughing at my attempt to wax eloquent about the white tank top. I am totally OK with that as long as she keeps wearing one.

Yvonne StrahovskiWhat? I’m sorry. Have you been standing there long? My brain stopped working temporarily for some unknown reason and I had to do a full system reboot. Oh my God, is that Yvonne in a... Dammit, not again. Control-Alt-Delete.

Cote de PabloJust think, if things had gone differently on “NCIS” maybe Cote would be the one having eye sex and TGTGT with Angie Harmon on “Rizzoli & Isles” instead of Sasha Alexander. Man, just thinking about what those subtext recaps would be like is tripping me out.

Minka KellyDoes it make me a very bad lady if I tell you I’ve decided to skip the new “Charlie’s Angels,” or a very good one?

Jordana BrewsterI probably won’t watch Jordana’s new remake, “Dallas,” either. But I will search the network press site for pictures of her in a tank top. So, you know, win-win.

Zoe KravitzOf course the daughter of Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz is gorgeous. Of course.

WARNING: The last picture is NSFW. Thank the technology gods for smartphones, eh?

Karina LombardThis is like Tank Top Tuesday and Naked Lady Monday had a love child, make that twins.

Just my type

I’ve never really been the kind of person to have a “type.” I like the infinite variations and unique particularities that makes each woman so different and so delightful. Red hair. Blonde hair. Pale skin. Mahogany skin. Green eyes. Brown eyes. Why choose just one when you can have the rainbow? But it seems, at least for the time being, I’m going through a very definite phase. I can’t tell if it’s one of these, well, passing things. Or if it’s here for good. Because right now I’m in a serious dark-haired, impossibly cheekboned, deliciously accented women of the United Kingdom phase. I’m not entirely sure how this phase got started. I mean, we all dabble in college. But it’s safe to say my phase is now a full-blown obsession. It seems every new star I’ve developed quick, complete crushes on of late has been one of these dark-haired, impossibly cheekboned, deliciously accented women of the UK. While I’ve already confessed at length to my Anglophia before, this is a very specific kind of Anglophilia. So while I still am reluctant to say I have a type, I’ll admit that the next dark-haired, impossibly cheekboned, deliciously accented woman of the UK who walks my way will definitely get a head swivel. And then some.

Hayley AtwellI had absolutely no interest in seeing “Captain America.” And then, Hayley happened. She is also, you might remember, the actress Emma Thompson almost got in a row with producers about because they wanted her to lose weight. Anytime Emma Thompson almost comes to fisticuffs over you, well, you know you’re something special.

Heather PeaceHot cop is hot. End of discussion.

Katie McGrathI cannot even put into words how attractive I find Katie. I almost have to stop myself from stroking the screen each time I see her. I just want to touch her face. And, um, possibly other stuff.

Pippa MiddletonI know, I know. Laugh if you must. But once I saw Hot Sister in That Dress at The Wedding, I was a goner. Because, while I am also not a butt girl either, dayum.

Marsha ThomasonThey should give Marsha more occasion to use her real accent on White Collar. They must.

Lara PulverShe played Sookie’s fairy godmother (yes, really, her fairy godmother) on “True Blood.” I can’t be the only one who thinks she looks like a dark-haired Jodie Foster, right?

Lena HeadeyClearly, Lena is not a new girl crush for me. But my God, her face – her magnificent, magnificent face.

I take everything back. Lena is my type. Exactly, totally, 100 percent my type. So, you know, dibs.

p.s. Keep in mind, kittens, these are all new or newish crushes (with the exception of permanent crush, Lena). I have so, so many long-standing crushes on other dark-haired, impossibly cheekboned, deliciously accented women of the UK. So many.