Showing posts with label Lucy Liu. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lucy Liu. Show all posts

Monday, March 26, 2012

Bullseye, ladies

Archery is hot. I mean, if the Girl on Fire does it, you know it’s got to be hot. But “The Hunger Games” is not the first nor more than likely the last film to bring us female heroines brandishing bows and arrows. Plenty of cinematic and real-life heroines have taken aim with one of mankind’s oldest weapons. And I’ll tell you a little secret about myself, I loved archery growing up. I didn’t do it a lot because I lived in town and my parents had this thing about not accidentally shooting the neighbors and all. But I went to a summer camp a few years in a row and my absolute favorite activity was archery. Something about drawing back that string and feeling the bow flex mixed power, grace and physics in an intoxicating way. I also liked the crisp thump sounds the arrow made as it hit its hay target. So here are a few other ladyies of the longbow to take their place beside Katniss Everdeen.

Keira KnightleyShe picked up a bow as Guinevere in “King Arthur.” I’m not sure how a bare midriff helped her aim, but everyone has her own method I suppose.

Natalie PortmanJust to keep the “Is it Natalie or Keira” confusion going, she did her own movie as bow-and-arrow wielding warrior in “Your Highness.”

Lena HeadeyI’m thinking up a zany crossover movie where Lena’s flower girl Luce from “Imagine Me & You” and huntress Angelika from “The Brothers Grimm” go on a road trip and to rescue fairy tale characters and kiss pretty girls. Fine, admittedly I haven’t thought it through very much.

Anna PopplewellI really loved the “Chronicles of Narnia” growing up, but it wasn’t exactly brimming with strong female heroines. Thank heavens for Susan Pevensie and her trusty bow and arrow.

Jessica Biel“Blade Trinity” was not a good movie. But it did introduce us to Jessica Biel’s magnificent shoulder muscles. And for that the universe will forever be grateful.

Jennifer Garner“Elektra” was not a good movie either. And not even seeing Jennifer prance around in a crime-fighting wardrobe made by Victoria’s Secret could make me thank the universe for it.

Jennifer LawrenceJennifer trained with a four-time Olympian and arching champion for her role in “The Hunger Games.” But I don’t think that’s why all the showings I wanted to go to were sold out this weekend.

Stana KaticDid you know besides speaking like half a dozen languages she also enjoys flamenco, falconry and a little archery on the side? Don’t worry, PETA, I don’t think she practices her archery and falconry at the same time.

Geena DavisGeena is another real-live archer, who even tried out for the 2000 Olympics team. She didn’t make the team, but that’s OK because she already has some gold hardware named Oscar at home.

Lucy LiuI have no idea why she’s using a bow and arrow while wearing this jaunty little outfit, but I entirely approve.

Christina HendricksLikewise, I have no idea why Christina is posing seductively in a spiked leather jacket with a bow and arrows. But, again, not complaining.

Princess MeridaI dork out so hard when I think about this movie, you guys. I am so ready to be “Brave.”

Thursday, March 1, 2012

My dear Watson

I like Lucy Liu as Watson. There, I said it. I’m all for a female sidekick to a new American Sherlock TV remake for CBS, “Elementary.” It seems, yes – I’m going to say it, elementary to me that in an industry rife with onscreen gender and racial inequality, a little character sex and ethnicity change is a good thing. Why not, it makes it a little more exciting, a little more new. Though, yes, it would be a lot more exciting and a lot more new if they made both Sherlock and Watson female characters. Now that, that would be revolutionary. If you’re going to remake a familiar pairing, why just turn it on its side? Turn it on its head and let’s all look at the world a little differently. (p.s. Those busy kids on Tumblr have already done just that. Though might I suggest Jaime Murray for Moriarty instead?)

But it seems a lot of people don’t like Lucy as Watson. Not even a little. Not even less than a little. Take, for instance, some editor at BuzzFeed. Wow, way to wave the flag for gender and ethnic diversity, guys. Hey, maybe think before you create your snarky bold-lettered macro. Because I can practically see the “Long Live White Dudes!” “We Rule Everything, Get Over It!” “No Girls Allowed” signs being hoisted now.

Other folks say why mess with tradition? Why swap the gender of established characters? Just write new female characters instead. Well I say, sure. Let’s do that. But there’s really no reason we can’t do both. People remake familiar shows because they’re familiar and therefore have a greater chance of success. That’s the whole damn point. So a show with familiar characters with new genders might stand a better chance at making it than a new show with new genders. That’s just life. As is, female-fronted buddy shows stand out because they are just that, female-fronted buddy shows – think “Rizzoli & Isles,” think “2 Broke Girls.” And then we’ve got to reach back and go “Cagney & Lacey,” Kate & Allie,” “Laverne & Shirley, “Absolutely Fabulous.”

There are and have been several famous male-female crime-solving duos. “Castle,” “Bones,” “The X-Files,” “Moonlighting,” So that wouldn’t really make “Elementary” all that different. But this would be the first interracial male-female duo. If the show makes it to air Lucy would be the only the second Asian-American actress in a leading role on an American broadcast network television. (Maggie Q on the CW’s “Nikita” is the only other one right now. Sure, we could argue about Sandra Oh on “Grey’s,” but I really think she’s part of more of an ensemble. And don’t get me started on poor Jenna Ushkowitz. From “Glee.”) So, let’s be honest, we’re due a strong Asian-American female lead – we really are.

But by far the most perplexing criticisms of this casting is that CBS has done this intentionally to eliminate the possibility of delicious, delicious gay subtext on the show. Two which I say, bahwha? No, but really, BAHWHA? Look, I will give you that CBS may be angling to create sexual chemistry and a will-they/won’t-they vibe between Sherlock & Watson. It’s the rare male-female duo show that can keep its leads from eventually getting it on like Donkey Kong. The slow tease sells. Just ask “Castle” fans.

Still that’s not the same as actively trying to quash gay subtext. To be honest, I’m pretty sure TV executives don’t give two farts about gay subtext, unless it creates internet buzz for their shows. That buzz usually means more enthusiasm and eyeballs. And while they almost never actively encourage it, I really don’t think stopping it before it starts is on their agenda. And, who says just because the leads are opposite sex there can’t still be gay subtext on the show? The thing about gay subtext is the fans create it. Sure, sometimes the writers and actors leave a very visible breadcrumb trail. But it’s the viewers who make these non-canon relationships happen. So, who is to say Holmes might not have a smoldering chemistry with the chief of police? Or Watson may make googly eyes at a female detective on the force. Or, better yet, a female Moriarty (really not kidding about Jaime Murray – think about it, CBS).

The thing is, this new Sherlock reboot could suck. There are absolutely no guarantees, regardless of casting, that it will be good or bad for that matter. But what I do know is a talented, veteran Asian-American actress has landed a role that has traditionally been filled by a white male actors in the past. So now instead of looking like it always looks, TV might look a teeny tiny bit more like me. And I am A-OK with that.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Fuck Mondays

Let’s be frank, Mondays fucking suck. They can go fuck themselves. They can go take a flying fuck. They can go fuck off. Seriously, they fucking suck. And they really, really fucking suck in the doldrums of January. Ugh. January. It’s not December, with its promise of the holidays. It’s not the spring, with its flowers and showers. It’s not summer, with its summery summerness. And it’s not fall, with leaves showing off one last time. Nope, it’s January. Which fucking sucks. But you know what? We don’t have to just sit and take sucky Mondays in January. We can fight back. We can fight back the only way we can on a sucky Monday in January. By giving them a big, hearty fuck you. Like our friend M-Rod is doing.

Heidi KlumWell, it is Monday, so why not have a little Naked Lady as well?

Kristen StewartI feel like Kristen is always flipping us the bird, even when she isn’t.

Kaya ScodelarioThe middle finger is Effy Stonem’s permanent state of mind.

PinkShe somehow manages to be badass and adorable, all at once. I think it’s the overalls.

Paget BrewsterI’m only slightly distracted by the fact that the towel means she just got out of the shower.

Lucy LiuAlso slightly distracted, but this time by the freckles and hint of lower back.

Amy PoehlerYou always knew Amy would know how to expertly deploy the double bird.

Lily AllenWhereas this is the cutest double bird ever.

Joan JettAnd this, this is the sexiest double bird ever.

There, now don’t you feel better – for a Monday?

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Vacation Vixen: Lucy Liu

Freckles. I want to... They make me... I just can’t help... Freckles, everywhere.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Weekend at Crazy’s

WTF, weekend? Seriously. Tina Fey wins an Emmy. Dr. Horrible wins an Emmy. Serena Williams threatens bodily harm with a tennis ball. Madonna stays classy. Kanye West does not. Lady Gaga is movable performance art. And BeyoncĂ© is, quite possibly, magic. Whew. That is a lot of shit to process in just two days. That’s like a month’s worth of awesome/crazy/WTF. It’s like Saturday and Sunday exploded and we haven’t even talked about Kristen Stewart’s new dangerously Kate Gosselin-esque hairstyle. Madness, I tell you. MADNESS. So, naturally, I turn to ridiculously hot women to help me make sense of the world again. Nothing soothes quite like ridiculously hot women being ridiculously hot. Some of them might even qualify for Naked Lady Monday. Mmm, naked ladies… See, all better. [Click any to enlarge The Hot.]

Padma LakshmiFeel stupid for not watching “Top Chef” now, don’t ya?

Anna FrielGod, I miss Pushing Daisies.

Jennifer ConnellyRemember that movie “Seven Minutes in Heaven?” Set a timer.

Olivia WildeIs there such a thing as pantyline-high boots? There is now.

Katee Sackhoff, Tricia Helfer, Grace ParkSci-fi is just for geeks, eh?

Lucy LiuI believe the correct words here are hummina-hummina.

Sarah ShahiQuite fittingly, the end.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

An offer we can’t refuse


Look, I can write about TV shows with lesbians that don’t have a single “L” in them. Who’d a thunk it? A new trailer for the upcoming (yet still unscheduled…end writers strike, end!) “Cashmere Mafia” has hit the interwebs. Nothing too new, except of course for Lucy Liu’s new love interest. They swapped out the unknown guy from the pilot to put in a slightly less unknown guy (Tom Everett Scott, who was in that terrible “An American Werewolf in Paris” movie with Julie Delpy, which I only watched for Julie Delpy and even so regretted more than a little.) Despite the Darrin-ing (you know, from “Bewitched”… hello?…crickets) of the boy toy, he still seems like a dud. And the show seems a little dud-like, too. It’s not the cast, which is to a woman fantastic (well, I don’t know if Bonnie Somerville is fantastic yet, since I don’t remember her from anything, but she is playing gay and that is fantastic so ipso facto she is fantastic….Man, what’s the deal with my out of control parentheticals today?).Really, by big beef with what I’ve seen so far is the writing, which (to put it charitably) isn’t all that wow. OK, the “kosher” line was sorta funny. But then it was totally negated by the “it’s not winning without you” pap. We need only turn our gaze to the mess that was “Bionic Woman” to know that writing matters. Writing makes a show. So seeing a scene where the friends tell the other friend’s new fiancĂ© that “if you break her heart, we’ll break every last bone in your body” is not encouraging. Raise you hand if you’ve heard some variation on that theme once, twice or maybe 3,867 times before (I’m putting two hands up and making that “Ooh, ooh, teacher!”-call on me noise).Oh course, none of my whining really matters since the show features a prominent lesbian storyline so, duh, I am totally going to watch. I don’t know why TV producers haven’t caught on, but lesbian audiences are unfailingly faithful. We’ll watch almost anything as long as there is a lesbian in it. We’ll even keep watching when you inevitably turn her storyline into that old chestnut, the pregnant lesbian clichĂ©. I mean, the show has “Mafia” in the title and a lesbian. That’s an offer no gay gal can refuse.

p.s. Did you catch the shot of Wallace Shaw filming on set with Lucy? Uh, is he in every lesbian show this season? Is he the new Birkenstocks?

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Warning: serious couch time ahead

Now that the dust has settled from the network upfronts, it’s time to start planning my new fall television viewing schedule. Looks like my whatever-will-fill-the-huge-gaping-hole-that-was-Buffy lament might finally get the answer it’s been longing for as both the “Bionic Woman” and “The Sarah Connors Chronicles” vie to fill the strong women who kick ass and take names spot in my heart.On Fox, “The Sarah Connors Chronicles” will bring Lena Headey and Summer Glau into my home every week. Fine, the show won’t debut until January but the mere prospect is reason enough to do a jig around the couch. I’m going to let the preview do the talking.

Also on Fox, and also not premiering until January (dammit, Fox, what the hell?), is “The Return of Jezebel James.” All you need to know is that Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose will recite the whip-smart dialogue of “Gilmore Girls” creator Amy Sherman-Palladino. Heaven, thy name is witty repartee.

Over on ABC, beside the welcome return of “Ugly Betty” (but why, why did you have to kill Santos?) will be two newcomers of note -- or at least of note to me -- “Cashmere Mafia” and “Pushing Daisies.” Cashmere boasts a killer cast (Lucy Liu, Miranda Otto, Frances O’Connor and Bonnie Somerville) and sounds a lot like “Sex and the City.” It will also sport the fall season’s first new lesbian/bisexual storyline. Bonnie’s character will share an unexpected yet electric kiss with a co-worker. Read all about it here and fantasize about it until the show finally airs later in the fall on its regular night Tuesdays, replacing “Dancing With the Stars.” Bonnie starred as Ross’ girlfriend Mona on “Friends.” I don’t remember her at all, which doesn’t bode well. But, hope spring eternal. Still, couldn’t it have been Frances’ character who had the gay revelation? Really, that would have been much hotter.

And finally, coming to ABC Wednesday nights is “Pushing Daisies.” The show centers around a man who can raise the dead, and kill them again, with one touch. Sure, the supernatural premise sounds a little “Tru Calling” meets “Six Feet Under,” but wait it gets better. The series was created by the same fantastically quirky mind that thought us “Wonderfalls.” If you’ve never seen that show go to Amazon right now and buy the box set. You will not be sorry and, yes, I will accept small gifts as tokens of your appreciation for turning you onto one of the best prematurely and unjustly canceled television shows ever. But back to Daisies, which features Kristin Chenoweth and a woman with an eye patch. Hell, we haven’t had a good woman-with-an-eye-patch character since “Twin Peaks.” About damn time.

Friday, April 6, 2007

My Weekend Crush

CLICK to enlarge the freckles, dear god, the frecklesLucy Liu is ridiculously gorgeous. Her cheekbones alone inspire fantasies of alpine adventures. And her freckles, well, don’t get me started on her freckles. Volumes could be written on the adorable constellations that dot her otherwise pristine face. If only her opportunities would match her beauty. But, it seems like Hollywood of late isn’t quite sure what to do with the American-born actress of Chinese immigrant parents. Instead she has appeared in big-screen dreck like “Code Name: The Cleaner.” Though, happily, on the small screen she has a guest spot on my favorite hour of the week, “Ugly Betty.”

Her next movie role is the lesbian vampire flick “Rise: Blood Hunter.” Now, I have no problem - clearly - with lesbian movies or vampire movies or even lesbian vampire movies. Sadly, it’s hard to find the latter that isn’t an exploitative exercise in selling tickets to horny frat boys -- aside, of course, for the mother of all lesbian vampire movies, “The Hunger.” Clips of Lucy serving as bloody neck candy for a Carla Gugino popped up on the web this week (sidebar: Carla deserves some sort of Best Supporting Lesbian trophy for her frequent Sapphic appearances in at least three previous films: “Jaded,” “The Center of the World” and “Sin City”). Also, I didn’t realize Lucy had made her own ambiguously gay comments to the press. As she told Jane magazine:
“I think people sometimes get the wrong impression when they’re like, 'Oh, well, so-and-so was straight and then she was gay, and now she’s straight again,’ you know? But it's like, how many times do I have to kiss a woman before I’m gay? Everybody wants to label people. Sometimes you just fall in love with somebody, and you’re really not thinking about what gender or whatever they happen to be. It think that if I happen to fall in love with a woman, everyone’s going to make a big deal out of it. But if I happen to fall in love with a man, nobody cares.”

Well, Lucy, I’m not sure either how many times you have to kiss a woman before you’re gay. But, they say practice makes perfect. Happy weekend, all.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The opposite of Ugly

So this is what Lucy Liu has been up to lately. Cause, you know, I’ve been worried about homegirl’s career. The former McBealer is back on the small screen for a two-episode stint on “Ugly Betty” starting Feb. 15. According to Zap2It, she will play Grace Chin, a former college classmate whom Daniel once stood up. Geez, that cast keeps getting prettier and prettier. They’re going to have to start calling it “Ridiculously Not Ugly Betty” soon.

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do

So, what the fuck has happened to Lucy Liu’s career? I mean it. What’s up? She is talented. She is beautiful. You could slice deli meat on her cheekbones. But her appearance in “Code Name: The Cleaner” alongside Cedric the Entertainer and Nicollette Sheridan raises significant concern. As does the film’s release date the first weekend in January, the weekend bad movies go to die a quick, silent death. Looking at Lucy’s resume, we see an equally disturbing trend. In fact, she hasn’t made a good film since 2003’s “Kill Bill.” Now, this could be due to the lack of quality roles for Asian-American actresses . Or it could be due to a series of bad script choices. Whatever the reason, I say it’s time for some serious career resuscitation. Someone with freckles like this can’t continue to make schlock like this.