I told you I’d be back

Hello my lovelies. Did you miss me? I’m back, and I’m packing heat. After 10 days of sleeping in until noon and being brought snacks on a tray (a tray!) I must now return to the harsh, cold reality of my workaday routine. Life, she is a cruel mistress. On the plus side, in two days I can look forward to Lena Headey and Summer Glau kicking untold robot butt in “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.” So life may be a cruel mistress, but she looks fantastic in a tank top.To soften the blow of returning to work, when I went to my mailbox today I found a lovely present: Lena Headey and her guns -- all three of them -- poster-sized for my enjoyment. Every now and then, it’s good to be me.This means Lena and her big guns are now officially in a deathmatch with Mary-Louise Parker and her naked bum for the title of Best. Poster. Ever. Competition is a very, very good thing.[Click any of the images to enlarge, I highly recommend it.]

(Almost) Naked Lady Monday

Thud. Oh, sorry, I must have fallen down. I’m not really sure what happened. I saw Lena Headey was in some magazine and went to look and then… Thud. Damn, it happened again. I was just looking at Lena in the new “Best Life” magazine, some men’s rag I’ve never heard of before, when I suddenly felt faint and… Thud. Right, this is getting ridiculous. Plus, I think I’ve bruised my forehead. I’m going to have to shield my eyes to finish this post. Must. Not. Look. Must… Thud. Seriously, Snarker, pull it together. You’re working; be professional… Thud. OK, just do this quickly: So Lena talks about her new role in “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles;” getting in fights when she was younger to defend her younger brother (who “played the violin and painted his nails” and is now an air steward…read into that what you will); and drops the F-bomb liberally, which of course I fucking love. She even gives “Imagine Me & You” fans everywhere hope by saying she could “quite happily run a florist or a bake shop.” Good God, you mean she could be the hottest florist in the world, for real? Thud.

[Click ’em to enlarge ’em, but beware the thud. Scans via the “Imagine Me & You” Fansite. Hat tip, jetgirl!]

Poster me this

So, who here is good with The Photoshop? Fox, home of “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” (Aside: dude, could you have picked a longer, more cumbersome name? End of aside), is holding a poster contest with a grand prize of a trip to Los Angeles to attend the show’s premiere party. But, really, I could care less about that contest. Instead, I propose we hold our own little contest, right here. We’ve already seen the lesbian daydream potential when you put Lena Headey and Summer Glau together. Now, we’ve got hi-res (super-duper hi-res -- the damn tiffs took forever to download) cutouts of the lovely ladies at our disposal. So, who wants to make some “Terminator: The Lesbian Chronicles” posters? I whipped up a couple quick, crude couplings. [Click any to enlarge.] But, really, in more skilled hands the possibilities are endless. The official contest rules say no pornographic or sexually explicit content. But, clearly, that’s not an issue here. So, who is game? I’d be happy to post the results for everyone’s viewing pleasure. Bring on “L2: Rise of the Lesbians.”

UPDATE: It’s official, Ida is my hero. Oh, the hotness. [Click to enlarge, it is so worth it.]

I, robot. You, hot.

Technology continues to confound me this week, though to be more accurate I should say AT&T continues to confound me. I could rant on, but to be honest I’m just weary of the whole mess. But you know what I’m not weary of? Promo shots of “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.” Looks like we’re finally getting to see some of the finished product from that photo shoot. (Click any and all to enlarge.) Now that, that is what I call better living through technology.

Terminator: Rise of the Hotness

Summer Glau on a trampoline. Lena Headey in a leather jacket. My head about to explode. This behind-the-scenes video from a publicity shoot for “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” has me wondering, where are all of these picture?! We demand the hotness. Particularly of Summer and that trampoline and those guns. Is it Jan. 14th yet? And, well, this shot just made me laugh. Summer is all, “Ahoy, lesbians!” and Lena is all, “Uh, not before my coffee, dear.”
Alas, even when the official photos finally do come out, there probably won’t be any like this. [Click to enlarge the femslash goodness. Hat tip, dana mulder. Image by sam991 via the piperandlena.com forum.] How many days until Jan. 14?

Warning: serious couch time ahead

Now that the dust has settled from the network upfronts, it’s time to start planning my new fall television viewing schedule. Looks like my whatever-will-fill-the-huge-gaping-hole-that-was-Buffy lament might finally get the answer it’s been longing for as both the “Bionic Woman” and “The Sarah Connors Chronicles” vie to fill the strong women who kick ass and take names spot in my heart.On Fox, “The Sarah Connors Chronicles” will bring Lena Headey and Summer Glau into my home every week. Fine, the show won’t debut until January but the mere prospect is reason enough to do a jig around the couch. I’m going to let the preview do the talking.

Also on Fox, and also not premiering until January (dammit, Fox, what the hell?), is “The Return of Jezebel James.” All you need to know is that Parker Posey and Lauren Ambrose will recite the whip-smart dialogue of “Gilmore Girls” creator Amy Sherman-Palladino. Heaven, thy name is witty repartee.

Over on ABC, beside the welcome return of “Ugly Betty” (but why, why did you have to kill Santos?) will be two newcomers of note -- or at least of note to me -- “Cashmere Mafia” and “Pushing Daisies.” Cashmere boasts a killer cast (Lucy Liu, Miranda Otto, Frances O’Connor and Bonnie Somerville) and sounds a lot like “Sex and the City.” It will also sport the fall season’s first new lesbian/bisexual storyline. Bonnie’s character will share an unexpected yet electric kiss with a co-worker. Read all about it here and fantasize about it until the show finally airs later in the fall on its regular night Tuesdays, replacing “Dancing With the Stars.” Bonnie starred as Ross’ girlfriend Mona on “Friends.” I don’t remember her at all, which doesn’t bode well. But, hope spring eternal. Still, couldn’t it have been Frances’ character who had the gay revelation? Really, that would have been much hotter.

And finally, coming to ABC Wednesday nights is “Pushing Daisies.” The show centers around a man who can raise the dead, and kill them again, with one touch. Sure, the supernatural premise sounds a little “Tru Calling” meets “Six Feet Under,” but wait it gets better. The series was created by the same fantastically quirky mind that thought us “Wonderfalls.” If you’ve never seen that show go to Amazon right now and buy the box set. You will not be sorry and, yes, I will accept small gifts as tokens of your appreciation for turning you onto one of the best prematurely and unjustly canceled television shows ever. But back to Daisies, which features Kristin Chenoweth and a woman with an eye patch. Hell, we haven’t had a good woman-with-an-eye-patch character since “Twin Peaks.” About damn time.