Gender Fuck Thursday: J.Mo Edition

Jennifer Morrison likes us, she really must like us. Why else would the “Once Upon a Time” star wear a full suit and tie to PaleyFest over the weekend? I mean, you know, other than that the combo looks ridiculously hot on her. And, you know, that stylish women (cough, Dietrich, cough) have a long tradition of wearing men’s formal wear to special events. And, you know, perhaps she just felt like wearing a suit. Nope, I am taking J.Mo’s impeccably tailored suit from Sunday night as a sign that she not only loves us lesbian fans, she actively ships the Swan Queen and wants us to know that in her storybook ending, Emma and Regina live happily ever after together.

Have I mentioned how much I also love her hair?

And her retro sunnies?

And the way this photo makes it look like Jennifer and Ginnifer are totally going to gay prom together?

OK, fine, maybe the suit is just a suit. But the hands pushed persistently in her pockets?

Yeah, that’s definitely a sign that she likes us.

The Swan Queen

I have a new Sunday night obsession. Oh, don’t worry. My heart and pants (hot or otherwise) still belong to “Lost Girl” on Sundays. But, not being Canadian, I often end up watching closer to wee early hours of Monday. (p.s. Dude, that show takes for-freaking-ever to post.) But no, my Sunday night proper obsession is now “Once Upon a Time.” I was having a brief fling with “Pan Am.” But my interest in that show started to swan dive as soon as Dean got more screentime and the women were put on separate storylines instead of together for adventures. I canceled my DVR ticket, so to speak. But a show I’m excited to book my flight for (yes, I m totally overdoing the airplane analogies) and then some is its earlier evening network neighbor “Once Upon a Time.”

A feew episodes in and I’m pretty much hooked. And what I see is a mix of refreshingly reimagined fairytales led by strong female characters. This all makes sense if you know one of my favorite “Buffy” scribes Jane Espenson is a writer-producer on the show. It’s pretty much right up my wheelhouse what with the supernatural fantasy, powerful ladies and sly humor. That one happens to wear tank tops a lot and wield power tools is just an added bonus.

It also is the source of my latest, naughtiest ship. Yes, I totally ship Emma Swan and The Evil Queen (otherwise known as mean mayor Regina Mills). Part of it is the fantastic face-offs we’ve been treated to so far by Jennifer Morrison’s Emma and Lana Parrilla’s Regina. There’s a wicked, wicked chemistry there are the two women play their rivalry with palpable heat. In fact, I think they give each other the best hate eye sex I’ve ever seen.

It also helps that they’re already wearing each other’s clothes, as per last week’s “Enjoy my shirt, because that’s all you’re getting.” The little eyebrow arch from Emma is the thing that launches a 1,000 ships.

And then there’s the time Emma answered her hotel room door for Regina – in nothing but a tank top and underwear.

Oh, God, and the chainsaw! Sweet fancy fairytales, the chainsaw.

The lip quivering! With rage! My God, the hate sex between those two could burn down the world. Also, we have the perfect portmanteau for the pairing already: The Swan Queen. (HT, @mynlugon!)

I actually hope the show makes Regina somewhat more sympathetic, as she was in the first episode, so she’s less cartoony evil and more complexly troubled. Layers make everyone more interesting. Also they’re often flattering, you know, with winter coming up and all. Speaking of clothing, I sure hope they never increase the costume budget so Jennifer has to keep running around in tank tops and leather jackets. Because, woo doggie, do they suit her. This wardrobe is a vast improvement from all the lab coats and button ups on “House.” Man, did I miss her gorgeous, gorgeous face and perfect, perfect eyebrows on my TV every week. Plus now, she’s the cranky badass hero instead.

All this and we haven’t even discussed her mom Mary Margaret/Snow White. The lovely Ginnifer Goodwin and her pixie cut are custom-made for a fairytale. Also, I’m holding out a delusional amount of hope that Ruby/Little Red Riding Hood will turn out to like the ladies. Come on, the Manic Panic in her hair is a dead giveaway.

In summation, I hope to happily ever after for a good long time with this show. And I hope The Swan Queen keeps rage eye shagging each other into the sunset.

Tank Top Tuesday

Oh, thank God, TV is back. Look, I like the summer cable shows as much as the next gal. But there comes a point when you want your main squeezes back. And this is that point. “Glee” is already back, Thursday sees the return of “Bones” and “Fringe” and the rest of the shows start back up soon. Gosh, I just feel like hugging all of my faithful female favorites with my legs in friendship. And if they’re wearing a tank top while it happens, well, even better.

Michaela ConlinBones premieres Sept. 17

Jennifer MorrisonHouse premieres Sept. 21

Cote de PabloNCIS premieres Sept. 22

Mariska HargitayLaw & Order: SVU premieres Sept. 23

Sandra OhGrey’s Anatomy premieres Sept. 24

Marg HelgenbergerCSI premiere Sept. 24

Summer GlauDollhouse premieres Sept. 25

Yvonne StrahovskiChuck premieres March 2010

Bonus: Dude, it’s really hard to find a picture of Anna Torv in a tank top. But here is one of her pantless; hope that makes up for it.

Doctor Feelgay

Finally, there is a gay doctor in the “House.” Thirteen is, apparently, bisexual. Wow, I’m suddenly feeling all hot and bothered. I may need immediate medical attention, but only if I can pick the doctor. Ahem. Last night, Foreman called out (puns, puns!) Olivia Wilde’s enigmatic character Thirteen for keeping herself a mystery:

“I’m sure that you have many reasons to keep yourself a mystery – besides the fact that you’re bisexual…[pause as she stares wide-eyed at him]…Denial would’ve worked before the long vacant stare.”

OK, so that came out of nowhere. But did it? Could it be that Foreman’s gaydar is as finely honed as your truly? Not to toot my own horn (toot, toot!) but let me quote myself, in chapter and verse from AfterEllen last week, after looking at a promo picture of Olivia’s Thirteen:

“And is anyone else piqued by the fact that the she is wearing what appear to be old-school suspenders and a ribbed tank top in her official cast photo? Suspenders and a tank top? Are you trying to tell us something, Fox? Is this Thirteen’s secret?”

As I was saying, dude, I totally called it! OK, so I’m not 100 percent sure Thirteen is bisexual. But her reaction to Foreman’s guess and request that it not become “lunchtime gossip” was pretty convincing. As was that later, while under sedation, the patient mumbles to Taub and Kutner:

“She’s bisexual. I could hear them talking from inside the MRI. It was interesting.”

Finally, at the end of the episode, House has Thirteen take the patient for a procedure:

House: You do it both ways, right?
Thirteen: What? [stares incredulously at him]
House: The ultrasound. You do it standing up and lying down…What else would I mean? [wink!]

They’ve left it tantalizingly open. And by tantalizingly I mean, can you imagine the hotness if Thirteen and Cameron started playing naughty doctor together? And while they were -- uh -- taking each other’s temperature, Cuddy walked in and demanded a -- shall we say -- physical? I love this show. And now that it comes complete with the surprise of helping of gay? Doctors, doctors, give me the news. I’ve got a bad case of lovin’ you.

My Weekend Crush

You can keep your Izzie McHotties and Kerry McLezzies (if you don’t speak McDreamy, that’s the blonde from Grey’s and the lesbian from E.R.) I have my very own Dr. Feelgood. Call 911, cause Dr. Allison Cameron is making me swoon (wow...that was bad...wow). Jennifer Morrison plays the serious and seriously hot doc on the wry, acerbic medical drama “House.” If don’t watched, you should. It’s much better than “E.R.” and, dare I say it, better than “Grey’s Anatomy.” Morrison imbues Dr. Cameron with an undercurrent of sadness and a soft spot for damaged people. Oh yeah, I’ve totally got a shot. Happy weekend, all.