Tank Top Tuesday: Premiere Week Edition

Oh, premiere week, how I love you. It’s like Christmas and your birthday all wrapped up in a big bow and placed with love on the couch for you. What is hiding underneath the pretty wrappers? Something you’ll love? Something you’ll return? Something you’ll regift at the office holiday party next year. So far, Monday night belongs to Yvonne Strahovski (with a kick-ass assist from Linda Hamilton). “Chuck was the best thing I saw yesterday. As for the big “Hawaii Five-O” vs. “Chase” showdown, I’m somewhat underwhelmed with both. The big Five-O seems more like a potential gay boy Rizzoli & Isles with Alex O’Laughlin McGarrett and Scott Caan Danno bickering like an old married couple. Just wait until they both show off their abs and start making googley eyes at each other. Grace Park was quite nice, but I’m generally adverse to any show that only has one regular female character amid a sea of male ones. Call it my Bechdel Test for TV. As for “Chase,” it was pretty straight forward: Bad guys run, good guys chase them. Truth in advertising, I guess. I hope Rose Rollins gets to have more than two lines of dialogue per show.

Handicapping of the rest of the week, Tank Top Tuesday style.

TODAY

Lea Michele, Glee I am displeased to report that Rachel is still the same old Rachel in the second season premiere. Her voice sure sounds great, though.

Heather MorrisI am pleased to report that Brittany is the same old Brittany in the second season premiere. With more discussion of boobs.

Naya RiveraSantana’s boobs are also a hot discussion topic, though perhaps not how you’d expect.

Jane LynchThough, if it were up to me, we’d talk about Sue’s boobs. I knew something spectacular lurked beneath that track suit.

Keri Russell, Running Wilde“Running Wilde” is getting shitty reviews, but Felicity looks great.

WEDNESDAY

Sofia Vergara, Modern FamilyLet the ridiculous rolling of Rs commence.

THURSDAY

Amy Poehler, Parks & RecreationI really wish they’d bring this back now instead of midseason. I need my Tina/Amy punch like back in the Weekend Update days.

Alison Brie, CommunityI don’t watch this. This may be an error on my part.

Nina Dobrev, The Vampire DiariesI know, I know, you don’t watch. But, come on, she plays two characters. Double your pleasure, kittens.

Maggie Q, NikitaStill not entirely sure I’m sold yet. But there is running with a gun in a tank top. So it can’t be all bad.

Anna Torv, FringeI don’t know how I’m going to fit this in to my watch/DVR/stream schedule this season. But, dammit, if this doesn’t make me want to try harder.

Baby, it's cold outside

Look, I know Tuesday is traditionally tank top day. But, dude, it’s winter. While it pains me to say this, it’s way too damn cold for tank tops. So instead today let’s celebrate the warm and snuggly. Cold weather clothes can be hot, too. Well, the people wearing them can be hot – and toasty. And just because you’ve got on mittens and scarves doesn’t mean you have to deprive the world of the really good stuff. To which I say, bless you, Lauren Graham.

Olivia WildeCourteney CoxKeri RussellSandra OhVirginia MadsenLena HeadeyAmy PoehlerAmerica FerreraTina FeyClea DuVallAnna Torv

Look at Anna, so cute and tiny in her gianormous jacket. Don’t you just want to take her home, sit her by the fire and serve her hot cocoa? Or, you know, yourself. Whatever is handy.

Say Cheesus, what happened to your arms?

I love photography. I suck at it, but I love looking at other people’s work who don’t. I appreciate the skill that goes into a great shot. The composition, the lighting, the artistry. I can also appreciate that sometimes things can go awry – very, very awry. Like say, dear God, where the hell are her arms wrong. I mean, look what they did to poor Julianne Moore. Last time I checked she wasn’t appearing in a movie about a double amputee who walks around in hooker heels. Though, come to think of it, that movie has Oscar written all over it.

Liv TylerJesus, this missing arm thing is contagious.

Kate WinsletThey got Kate, too. No one is safe. Run! Run!

Natalie Portman
Don’t you just hate it when you get a piece of your delicious vegan, fair-trade, sustainably-farmed lunch caught way back in your molars?

Summer GlauSummer, on the other hand, looks like she is digging for a big, juicy piece of steak.

Marion Cotillard

This is the classic, I have to pee but have no idea where the restrooms are pose.

Rachel Weisz

Well, I guess that’s one way to solve the no restroom problem.

Marg HelgenbergerApproach with extreme caution, a feral animal is foaming at the mouth in the corner.

Keri RussellWhile she has all her limbs, nothing in her teeth and appears to have used the restroom before departure, this photo is still WRONG IN EVERY WAY.

Couch potatoes

Some days, well, you just feel like lounging. And if you feel like lounging with little or no clothes on, heck, even better. Blame Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres or blame the intoxicating combination of soft fabric against softer skin, but photographers sure seem to love the couch surfing shots. And, really, can you blame them? Being a couch potato never looked so good. [Click any to enlarge, though be forewarned – what follows is tastefully NSFW]

Dita Von TeeseDrew BarrymoreJulianne MooreKate WinsletKeri RussellMary-Louise ParkerPortia de RossiAnd the original: La Grande Odalisque