Gender Fuck Thursday

Yes, yes. I know. This is a lot of Charlize for one week. But I just cannot resist a crisp white shirt and a pair of suspenders. They go together like peanut butter and jelly. The moon and stars. The Captain and Tennille. OK, you see where I’m going with this. And while they’re perfectly nice by themselves (well, I don’t know about The Captain – he seems needy), together something special happens. And that something is hot. Really hot. But you don’t have to trust me. Just trust Charlize & Co.

Emma WatsonIf Hermione looked like this she would have watched softball instead of Quidditch.

Diane KrugerThe tuxedo shirt and bow ties says business. The sleeveless arms say parrrrr-tay.

Kate MoennigShhh. Don’t speak. You’ll ruin the religious experience.

Winona RyderWell, I didn’t say you had to button the shirt.

Kristen BellOr that the shirt had to have any buttons, period.

Rachel MaddowNow comes the part in the religious experience where you should be leaving small offerings as a sign of respect.

Keira KnightleyOK, fine. She’s not wearing a crisp white shirt. My bad.

Lez Chat

So this Saturday night I shot pool, went bowling and played a round of mini-golf. It was a real hat trick of lesbian recreational activities. I feel like if I also played softball, field hockey and perhaps basketball (or tennis, depending on your inclination) that same night, I might have set some sort of homosexual sporting record. So with that in mind, I thought I’d get this week started by celebrating in our shared lesbian tendencies. And what better way to do that than to make a call to the Lez Chat line? I have no idea how this little gem slipped my attention last summer (actually, I do – that’s when I was on vacation in Europe), but I’m very happy to be able to bring it to you now. This little clip also makes for an excellent game of Spot the Lesbian Icon.

Kate Moennig, Clea DuVall, Lucy Lawless and Sandra Bernhard, on my!

p.s. Um, Kate, I like recycling and cuddling, and I’d never let a real cat get out of a real house. Just saying.

Naked Lady Monday: TLW Edition

So while I took Leap Day to bemoan the lack of Jennifer Beals on our TVs, I know plenty of “The L Word” alums are gainfully employed and gracing our screens (large and small) with their post-Chaiken magnificence. So, because it’s Monday and because some of you seemed somewhat perplexed by the clothing-optional selections I posted of their former coworker, I thought I’d double down. How about a little Naked Lady Monday with the hard-working former ladies of TLW? These lovely former ladies of the L all have interesting projects and programs they’re working on. And that they look god not entirely clothed? Well, that’s a sure bet. (As always, sort of NSFW. But, come on, you know you want to peek.)

Sarah ShahiThe artist formerly known as Carmen returns for the second season of “Fairly Legal” March 16 on USA. She’ll be back as legal mediator Kate Reed who usually wears considerably more clothes than this while solving complex legal disputes.

Janina GavankarThe artist formerly known as Papi will return as a series regular on True Blood this summer on HBO. She plays shifter Luna, who kind of has forever redefined my image of a beautiful wild pony running free across the planes.

Kate MoennigThe artist formerly known as Shane has signed onto the Showtime pilot “Ray Donovan,” where she will play gay once again as the “dark, intense” right hand gal to the title character L.A. P.I. to the rich and famous. Via the pilot script, we first see her waking up next to lovely lady in bed. Guess we all know who she’s looking very like that day.

Mia KirshnerThe artist formerly known as Jenny had a recurring role on “The Vampire Diaries” last season. She can next be seen on the big screen alongside True Blood vamp Stephen Moyer in the horror film “The Barrens,” about a family being stalked by the Jersey Devil. Hmmm, maybe it killed Jenny.

Lauren Lee SmithThe artist formerly known as the Soup Chef joined the second season of the Canadian psychic drama The Listener, and will return for its third season debuting later this year. I’m not going to lie, I miss the red hair.

Leisha HaileyThe artist formerly known as Alice is still as adorable as ever. But instead of acting she’s making merry music with her band Uh Huh Her. And they even have a new video out, with “So You Think You Can Dance” runner-up and out dancer Sasha Mallory.



Definitely NSFW:

Pam GrierThe artist formerly known as Kit starred alongside Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts in “Larry Crowne” last year. The inimitable Ms. Grier can next be seen in the action film “The Man with the Iron Fists” with Russell Crowe and Lucy Liu. To quote every line of Kit’s dialogue ever, “You go, baby girl!”

NOTE: No, clearly, this is not a comprehensive update of all the past TLW regulars. Those without current performing projects on the large or small screen were left off on purpose.

Looking very, oh, you know

You know who I miss? I miss Shane. I know, I know. This is not an original thought. Almost every gay lady has at some point in her life thought, “Jesus, I need a Shane.” But my desire for someone who looks very Shane today has less to do with the physical attributes and mad skills (though, don’t get me wrong – come to mama, honey), but the concept of Shane. The lothario isn’t a role women get to play on screen often. Sure, we get slut shamed. We get branded with the big scarlet letter. But the loveable lothario is something different, something reserved for men and the boys-will-be-boys mindset which deems conquests as laudable achievements. We remain mired in the societal gender constructs which make girl sexuality bad and boy sexuality good. But a character like Shane makes things more interesting, turning those stereotypes on their head and celebrating what once was scorned. Someone who is unapologetic about desire? I like it, I like it a lot. Since then she has been often imitated, seldom replicated. Also, you know, fucking-A Shane was hot. Yeah, sometimes it is what it is.

Gender Fuck Thursday: In Knots Edition

So, I’m thinking of wearing a tie out this Pride Weekend. I don’t usually wear ties, though I love them. As a kid, playing dress up with my dad’s old disguared ties was one of my most favorite games. (Seriously, how did I not know earlier?) But as an adult I haven’t ventured out in them too much for a number of reasons. My workplace is pretty casual. I’m not actually all that butch. I’m absolute rubbish at tying them. And, well, it can be a little stereotypical (I know, I know – big gay watch, big gay thumb ring, big gay chunky belt already). But this year I’m just really feeling the allure of a beautiful cravate. Naturally, I turn to my ladies of the gender fuck for inspiration. My, what lovely inspiration it is.

Annie LennoxWatch and learn, children, watch and learn

Marion CotillardShe makes me want to be a better woman in men’s clothes.

Anne HathawayThis photo proves that Anne needs to play gay in a movie immediately, if not sooner.

Karolina KurkovaI don’t usually feature models (let alone two, with Miranda Kerr above), but I was helpless against the killer lip bite and loose tie combination.

Kate MoennigCan’t explain the hair or the gloves. But I do love the tie.

BeyoncéI just like how she’s always leaning. Against stuff. She leans great

Selma BlairIf this was a “No Shirt, No Hands Down Pants, No Service” establishment, Selma would be in big trouble.

Lucille BallThe real reason we loved Lucy.

There, now don’t you feel all inspired? Now the only question left is which knot to use. And when, exactly, to loosen it.

Tank Top Tuesday

Oh, Tuesdays. People always complain about Mondays, what with it being the first day of the week and on Garfield’s mug and all. But Tuesdays, Tuesdays are the real killer. Tuesdays are still too many days away from Friday, but without the excusable grumpiness cache that Monday carries. Plus, all the really boring meetings happen on Tuesdays because managers figure everyone who calls in “sick” on Mondays should actually be in by then. Hell, Tuesdays even make Charlize Theron scream – and not in the good way. So that, that’s why we must fight back the Tuesdays with everything we have. Some use a gun, others a sword. I, of course, never come armed without the best Tuesday killer possible: tank tops. Just doing my part, folks. Just doing my part.

Naomi WattsI can’t tell if I’m more impressed by the tank, the shoes or this pose. So I’m going to answer, “Yes.”

Thora BirchWhere’d she go? And wherever she went, I hope she’s still a redhead.

Scarlett JohanssonIf all her contracts don’t have a tank top clause, they should.

Aubrey PlazaAre you still not watching “Parks & Recreation” yet? Don’t make me scold you again.

Maggie QFine, this isn’t “technically” a tank top. But it’s got straps and fabric down the front, so I’m claiming it.

Padma LakshmiI miss “Top Chef” so much. And by “Top Chef,” I mean “Padma.”

Gwyneth PaltrowI miss her on “Glee,” too. But on the plus side, perhaps this means fewer Mr. Shue storylines.

Leisha Hailey, Kate Moennig, Laurel HollomanOK, I miss them most of all. Not the storylines, per se, just them.

Sara RamirezDo you know how hard it is to find a picture of Sara in a tank top? I give and I give, Internet.

Right, so I think it’s safe to say we totally kicked Tuesday’s ass.

The circle of (lesbian) life

I saw these photos of Kate Moennig a week ago when she retweeted them. And I was, of course, impressed. Yummy, yummy in my tummy. But then in the circular way that both life and my brain works, I came back to them this week and the pieces had all come together. The photos were taken by lesbian photographer Tasya van Ree. Who happens to be dating actress Amber Heard.

And then you dig a little deeper and Tasya knows Michelle Rodriguez. And out supermodel Tasha Tilberg. And, of course, back to Kate. Following the rabbit hole of who knows who and how and when in Hollywood is curiouser and curiouser than Alice could have ever imagined. And so the circle goes on and on.

I’m not very familiar with Amber, other than that she is a very pretty young woman. While she has starred in the “Pineapple Express” and “Zombieland,” the only thing I recall ever seeing her in was an episode of “Criminal Minds” where, interestingly, her crazed stalker was a woman. But she is a welcome addition to what I hope will be a new and expectation defying wave of young gay Hollywood stars. While they’ve been out and about for what appears to be years (or at the very least known each other for years), the couple really made a splash appearing last week at the Prop. 8 rally hand-in-hand with some really fantastic signs.

A year ago Amber told Details:

“I’m open to whoever. I think it is absurd to assume that I have to look in a certain category. A person should make choices—about who they want to marry, who they want to spend time with, who they want to fuck—based on a variety of options, and I hope that one day people will be more open-minded about that. It’s silly to look in one category or another. I would never imagine a mate based on a certain sex or race.”

Of course, actresses saying they’re “open to whoever” is one thing. Having a real girlfriend that you walk the dog with and go to protests with and pose for sexy photoshoots with that’s another.

Next for Amber is the Johnny Depp take on Hunter S. Thompson’s “The Rum Diaries.” The whole thing should be gorgeous because it has Johnny and Amber and is set in 1960s Puerto Rico . I have already put it on my “To Do” list. It makes a difference when someone is out, open, honest. Each person, every time. And so the circle expands.

Sarah smile

Sarah Shahi will be back on our TVS for at least 12 episodes next season. I think we should all take a moment to acknowledge that whatever else is wrong with the world – and there is a lot beginning with and not limited to war, poverty, injustice, greed – in this one relatively insignificant area the universe actually got things very, very right. Sarah Shahi needs to be on our televisions. Now, admittedly, I didn’t watch “Life” as regularly as I probably should have (especially considering it got canceled). But I always felt better about the universe knowing, if I wanted to, I could change the channel and see her there. It’s comforting to know someone that how is only a click away (yes, yes DVDs – but new, fresh, shiny).

At this point half of you are like, well, tell me about this new show and the other half are like, um, show don’t tell. So I’ll attempt to do both. Sarah’s USA series, “Facing Kate,” has been picked up by USA for an 11 episode order in addition to its 90-minute pilot.In the series, Sarah plays Kate Reed, “a top litigator who, frustrated with the bureaucracy and injustice she witnesses in legal system, decides to become the ultimate anti-lawyer: a mediator.” Now, regrettably, as a mediator there will be considerably less call for her to wear (or, more accurately, not wear) something like this.

But, on the plus side, there will probably be considerably more call for her to wear something like her smart girl glasses. One door closes, another one opens.

Also, this seems like the perfect opportunity to bring some of Sarah’s more suit-inclined (suit-able? Oh, puns) co-stars in for guest appearances. Now, the obvious first choice is Kate Moennig. Looks great in a suit. Looks great with Sarah. And, what could be more appropriate? Sarah spent two seasons on “The L Word” facing Kate.

But there’s also a dark horse contender I didn’t even consider until certain photographic evidence came to light. I find it irrefutable.

See, sometimes, just sometimes, the universe smiles down on us.

It’s such a Shane

The thing about Katherine Moennig is regardless her role or regardless her orientation, we’re always going to feel a little possessive. We can’t help it. She is and will always be The Artist Formerly Known as Shane. Not that she can’t grow past Shane. Not that she has to tell us she is gay. She just feels like ours so we’re gonna claim her. Dibs, world. Dibs.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Kate looks like one of ours whenever we see her. It’s physically impossible for her to look at her and not see that certain something. I don’t care if she is wearing scrubs, a lab coat or just a stethoscope, she is still our gal. I mean, she seemingly owns an entire wardrobe consisting of thin, white V-neck shirts. OK, fine, sometimes she wears a black one, too.

Seems Kate has her own separation anxiety from Shane these days. In a Q&A with the Los Angeles Times, she waxed (see what I did there, Wax?) eloquent on her former alter ego, her new role and that hair – sweet heavens, that hair.

Do you miss playing Shane?

At this moment, I miss a lot about her. The beauty of that character was her unabashed way of viewing life. She was so unapologetic. She was always deemed the bad girl, and that was always good to play. She was a bit dangerous but also extremely screwed up in the head. I was sad to see her go. I miss her soul. I loved the debauchery that she created in her life.

I loved the debauchery, too. Tasty, tasty debauchery. The Shenny stuff? Eh. Kate revealed that Rosanna Arquette and Sarah Shahi were two of her favorite on-screen paramours. And she noted that she “connected very well” with Sarah. If by “connected very well” she means “looks fantastic naked together,” then truer words have hardly been spoken.

And, just like the rest of the planet, she shared in the WTF about the Who Killed Jenny ending to “The L Word.”

“I think it was a surprising way to end the show, definitely. . . . There was a reason behind it -- I'm not too sure what that reason was, but I'm told there was one. If my favorite show ended that way I'd be like, "What?!"”

But what about Dr. Miranda Foster. Will we soon all be cooing, you’re looking very Miranda today? Will lesbians everywhere be signing organ donor cards in hypothetical hope of one day brushing up against the good doctor?

And then, kids, then there’s The Wig. As we all know, Kate likes it short and choppy and Dr. Foster is more of a shoulder-length kind of gal. So how do they solve a problem like butch hairstyles?

“There was a lot of talk between extensions and a wig; finally we decided to just get a really good wig. There are days when I can't stand it, but I also really like coming to work, putting it on, doing my job, taking it off, and then going home and being me.”

Love the wig or hate the wig (for me, it depends on the angle), at the end of the day we know she still looks like this. And this, my friends, looks very Shane. It’s gone beyond a character to just an adjective. And sometimes a verb. Or a proper noun, as originally intended. It’s all over the Kinsey Scale of words.

p.s. No one ever called her Alt.Gywn, despite what Wikipedia may say. This makes me feel considerably better about her friends. I don’t care if they are cousins, Alt.Gwyn is a ridiculous nickname.