Separated at Hairspray

I know I’m the wrong target demographic (i.e. neither a teenage girl or a gay male), but I just don’t get Zac Efron. I mean, I guess the 19-year-old bit of peach fuzz is cute in a Kewpie doll kind of way. And sure, he sings, he dances and he knows how to mystic tan. But I’m not entirely sure I understand why he has exploded all over the gossip blogs of late. Then, I realized that in our everything-old-is-new-again culture, perhaps Zac’s celebrity is just another case of lazy fame recycling. How else could you account for the fact that he looks like an unholy mash-up of Clay Aiken, Daniela Sea and Lindsay Lohan?

The words get in the way

Diane Sawyer finally got to the gay stuff in the continuation of her Good Morning America interview with Clay Aiken today. When asked, “(Are) you are ready to come out and say you are gay?” Clay’s response was a girly laugh and then to blurt out, “That would not make any sense for me to do that...” Now any normal person would expect him to follow that up with … “because I’m not gay.” But instead he followed it up with a “…I’ve gotten to a point now where I feel it’s kind of invasive.” This is a classic case of what isn’t being said speaking volumes.

I have to tell you, I don’t give a crap about Clay Aiken. I’m not a fan of his music and I’m certainly not a fan of his new, ridiculous face scruff. What I do give a crap about is celebrities who dance around the gay question. Just have the balls to say either, “I’m gay!” or “I’m not gay!” Either shut the public out of your personal life entirely (which means no talking about your Baptist faith, no talking about your mom, no talking about your gawky childhood) or let us in all the way. Don’t give us this “What I do in my private life is nobody’s business anymore, period…at some point it becomes really rude” shit.

Clay tapdances around The Question

American Idol runner-up and object of idolatry for countless middle-aged housewives Clay Aiken kinda, sorta, not-really addressed the persistent gay rumors swirling around him in a People magazine interview. When asked, The Big Gay Question, he responded:

"What do you say (to that question)? ... It's like when I was 8. I remember something would get broken in the house, and Mom and Dad would call me in and say, 'Did you do this?' Well, it didn't matter what I said. The only thing they would believe was yes. ... People are going to believe what they want."

OK, well this person is going to keep believing you're gay. Otherwise, why would you channel your inner k.d. lang with that new look?