Have I mentioned that I love France? First French Elle gives us some of the world's most beautiful women au naturelle. Now French FHM gives us Lisa Edelstein au hottness. Now normally me and my women's studies minor would frown in righteous scowly disapproval at all things FHM. The lad mags are just so damn laddy. But I will happily make an exception in this case. I've always had a thing for Lisa. Maybe it was that she was involved in the first real, non-experimenting lesbian kiss on American primetime television. Or maybe it's those snug little skirts Cuddy always wears on “House.” Or maybe it's that she knows how to work a stripper pole like a pro. Regardless, she's all kinds of sexy.
Did I mention Lisa is almost 43? Yeah, France, check your mailbox. My thank you fruit basket should be arriving any day now.
[Click any to enlarge the hot. Scans via Cuddlestein]
When Sarah Haskins says “Target: Women” she means “target women.” As hello bullseye, goodbye breathing. You see, Sarah has uncovered a sinister plot at the “Today” show. A plot that is being played out for a national television audience oblivious to the grizzly fate that awaits one of their morning favorites. It's a plot to kill Ann Curry.
Now, of course, this got me thinking about whether other women on our televisions should worry for their safety. Perhaps Ann isn't the only one with a primetime hit on her life. And, sure enough, a few sprang immediately to mind. The signs are everywhere. Their fates are sealed. And now, we the viewing audience can only watch as their shows execute the old leave the gun, take the cannoli routine.
The Target: Izzie Stevens, “Grey's Anatomy”The Signs: Never mind seeing dead people, she sleeps with them. The Hit:It's not a tumor. Maybe it is. Work faster, interns! The Cannoli: Perhaps not dead, but definitely gone by summer.
The Target: Thirteen, “House”The Signs: Chronic partying, occasional bisexuality, terminally dull relationship with male co-worker The Hit: The Huntington's was apparently moving too slowly, so why not throw in a tumor and blindness? The Cannoli: Would they really kill off two girlfriends in two consecutive seasons? Only if you can die from boredom.
The Target: Jenny Schecter, “The L Word”The Signs: Everyone screaming “I'm going to fucking kill you Jenny Schecter!” The Hit: Best to heed those “no lifeguard on duty” warnings, hon. The Cannoli: Jenny Schecter. January 18, 2004-March 8, 2009. Deranged Daughter. Insane Friend. She annoyed the world, a lot.
So, can you think of any other easy targets? And I can't be the only one who would kill for a cannoli right now...figuratively.
I am not a huge fan of Valentine's Day. In a relationship, out of a relationship, the day has always had an artifice to it that crassly commodified the simple declaration of love. Also, you know, I'm bitter. But beyond the Hallmarkification of the holiday and price gouging of roses, I actually do – deep down – appreciate the sentiment. Love in all its many forms is undeniably grand, even if the before and after can be entirely the opposite. So in honor of florists' Cupid's big day, here are some cards that celebrate queer love, or something like it. Sure, all the smart lesbians are already saying it with Maddow. But, what these lack in hot, nerdy, policy wonkiness they make up for in terrible Photoshopping skills. Send them to someone you love, lust or would just like to see naked this Valentine's Day. [Click any and all to enlarge the snark love]
And, just to show that I have a heart, here is one snark-free offering. Hey, it's not that I've gone soft. It's just that I'm excited about the half-price chocolates come Feb. 15.
Did I mention Lisa is almost 43? Yeah, France, check your mailbox. My thank you fruit basket should be arriving any day now.
