Target practice

When Sarah Haskins says “Target: Women” she means “target women.” As hello bullseye, goodbye breathing. You see, Sarah has uncovered a sinister plot at the “Today” show. A plot that is being played out for a national television audience oblivious to the grizzly fate that awaits one of their morning favorites. It's a plot to kill Ann Curry.

Now, of course, this got me thinking about whether other women on our televisions should worry for their safety. Perhaps Ann isn't the only one with a primetime hit on her life. And, sure enough, a few sprang immediately to mind. The signs are everywhere. Their fates are sealed. And now, we the viewing audience can only watch as their shows execute the old leave the gun, take the cannoli routine.

The Target: Izzie Stevens, “Grey's Anatomy”The Signs: Never mind seeing dead people, she sleeps with them.
The Hit:It's not a tumor. Maybe it is. Work faster, interns!
The Cannoli: Perhaps not dead, but definitely gone by summer.

The Target: Thirteen, “House”The Signs: Chronic partying, occasional bisexuality, terminally dull relationship with male co-worker
The Hit: The Huntington's was apparently moving too slowly, so why not throw in a tumor and blindness?
The Cannoli: Would they really kill off two girlfriends in two consecutive seasons? Only if you can die from boredom.

The Target: Jenny Schecter, “The L Word”The Signs: Everyone screaming “I'm going to fucking kill you Jenny Schecter!”
The Hit: Best to heed those “no lifeguard on duty” warnings, hon.
The Cannoli: Jenny Schecter. January 18, 2004-March 8, 2009. Deranged Daughter. Insane Friend. She annoyed the world, a lot.

So, can you think of any other easy targets? And I can't be the only one who would kill for a cannoli right now...figuratively.