L503: “Lady of the Lake”Good morning, Lesbians. Good morning, Chaiken. Yes, that’s right, it’s time for another fun-filled episode of Chaiken’s Lesbians. Their hair is bouncy, their gaydar is deadly…accurate, that is. I’m not entirely sure why we’re seeing this (oh, wait, a fan wrote it, that’s why) but, heck, who needs opening segments to be integral to the plot, anyway? [Click to enlarge, per usual.]
1. Slo-mo running + feathered 70s hair = lesbian hilarity
2. I’ve heard some people workout as a substitute for sex. Sheesh, can’t they just eat cheesecake like the rest of us?
3. Jenny. Ugh. Just ugh.
4. Please remind them that two is company, three is a crowd.
5. Wait, did I flip over to “Bad Girls” by accident?
6. Welcome back to “Dirty Signing” with your hosts Jodi, Alice and Shane. Can you guess what today’s signs mean?
7. A broad, and not a very classy one, is back. Even her hair looks indignant.
8. Jodi’s friends, may I introduce you to Bette’s I-am-not-amused face?
9. How’s that sex substitute thing working out for you, Shane? See, should 
10. Who thinks…
…this won’t…
…end well?
11. Seriously, cheesecake.
12. So, Tina, is she a heart doctor or loooove doctor?
13. Did Pam Grier do something very bad in another life to deserve these storylines?
14. And so…
…ends Tina’s…
…dry spell…
…can we get…
…a hallelujah!
15. I mean it, was she like an evil warlord or kitten killer in a past life, because this is too much.
16. Tasha and Alice. Awww. Just awww.
17. Fare thee well, Helena Peabody. We hardly knew ya.
New Guestbian Count: 1
[Lenka Stolar as Brenda the
Best Line: “That? That is not sexy..” -- Alice reacting to the sideways “Loser” sign that means “Lesbian.”
Best Reaction: “Wow.” -- Tina to Brenda’s enhanced funbags.
Best Vocab Word: “Salubrious.” Shane, you’re looking very saluuubrious today.
EDIT: Shoulda, coulda, woulda. Sometimes, my brain isn’t properly plugged in. Like, say, always.
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