Pushing Wonder

Sometimes, when scanning the channels, I am quickly reminded that there is no Brian Fuller show on television right now. And this makes me sad. Because Brian Fuller shows like “Pushing Daisies” and “Wonderfalls” had a whimsy to them that is nearly impossible to replicate. It wasn’t that they were silly, though some silly things did happen. It was that they made the absurd and fantastical into something amazing and fabulous. That’s not easy to do. I mean one show was about a gal who spoke to inanimate objects and another was about a guy who could touch the dead and bring them back to life. This is weird, but works. Another thing I miss about Brian Fuller shows is how well they are cast. Caroline Dhavernas. Tracie Thoms. Anna Friel. Kristin Chenoweth. Come on, these are some fantastic ladies. Also, “Wonderfalls” had a lesbian sister. We love a lesbian sister. So now, because I can and because we can’t watch any of his shows live right now, here’s a little reminder of what we’re missing without a Brian Fuller show on our televisions.

Wonderfalls

That lesbian sister plays prominently in this one. And, yes, the thumb-licking lady is Kari Matchett from “Covert Affairs” with brown hair. Saved you a whole day’s wondering.

Pushing Daisies

I stand by my contention that every show on TV can be made better by having Cheno sing on it. This is just a fact.

Brian Fuller’s next TV foray is a remake of “The Munsters.” Yeah, I know it sounds crazy. But so did all of his other shows. So I’ll be there. He gave us a talking smoosed-faced lion. How could I not?

Tank Top Tuesday: TV Time

Between the return of winter TV and the start of pilot season, so much has happened that I think we’re going to need to review the revised landscape with clear-eyed, in-depth, critical analysis. In other words, we’re going to review it with tank top.

Sarah Michelle GellarSMG is coming back to TV. If that doesn’t get you excited check your pulse. If you don’t have a pulse, look out for SMG because she may be coming to stake you. Old habits die hard.

Minka KellyShe’s one of the new Angels on the “Charlie’s Angels” reboot. If the show is a hit, will boyfriend Derek Jeter start playing for Anaheim as a show of solidarity?

Adrianne PalickiPeople agree on two things when it comes to David E. Kelley’s new “Wonder Woman” series. 1) They love Adrianne’s casting as Wonder Woman. 2) They hate the pilot script with a fiery passion.

Zooey DeschanelShe is going to star in a pilot for a project that had the working title “Chicks and Dicks.” It’s hard to think of a title with less appeal to gay ladies, unless you called it “Dicks and Dicks,” but then it’d be a reality show on Logo and I’d totally watch that with several cocktails and my best gays.

Laura PreponI really liked her better as a redhead. But then I guess you have to embrace the peroxide to play Chelsea Handler, and the vodka.

Anna TorvFringe is now on Friday, but mostly I just wanted to post her holding this gun. Mmmm.

Jennifer Beals“The Chicago Code” broke out the white tank top for the very first episode. It’s blatant pandering to the lesbians, and we like it.

Sarah Shahi“Fairly Legal” isn’t a great TV show or anything. But it’s fun and Sarah has showed up in her underwear. So, you know, sold.

Caroline DhavernasI stopped watching “Off the Map” for the same reasons I don’t watch “Grey’s Anatomy.” Doctors with personal problems (with or without borders) just aren’t my thing. But I still love you, Jaye Tyler.

Sofia VergaraNothing new is happening with “Modern Family,” but when you have a chance to post a picture like this, you take it.

So, what new TV pilot or show has your temperature rising. And, remember, please phrase your answer in the form of a tank top.

Dr. Wonder-ful

Jaye Tyler is back! Sort of. Fine, still maybe only in my head. But Caroline Dhavernas, the artist formerly known as Jaye Tyler, is definitely back. The former “Wonderfalls” star (and my forever crush), has been cast as one of the leads in “Grey’s Anatomy” creator Shonda Rhimes’ newest medical drama. Yes, Wonderfallers, wrap your head around Jaye playing a doctor. I mean, I’ve thought about playing doctor with her quite a bit, but that’s different – different in a good way.

I’ve expressed my extreme, eternal love for all things “Wonderfalls” before here (and, yes, I still have the smooshed-face wax lion). I have the box set. I have the “I Surrender to Destiny” hoodie. And sometimes, when I’m feeling blue, I play the bouncy theme song and dream about inanimate objects talking to me.

Now, my conundrum is that I don’t really watch “Grey’s Anatomy” or any Shonda Rhimes productions, for that matter. I’m just not huge with the navel gazing (the lesbian couple gazing, however, is much appreciated). Also, another medical drama, Shonda? Are you going for a medical drama hat trick? This drama, called “Off the Map,” follows three American doctors who move to the jungles of South America to work at a free clinic.

Caroline will play Lily who, according to TV Guide, is a young doctor who heads to the jungle to escape tragedy. Awww, sad Jaye Tyler? Joining her will be Manny (played by “Without a Trace” alum Enrique Murciano), an “egotistical plastic surgeon,” and Meena (not cast yet), “an infectious disease specialist with a shadowy past.”

I can see the love triangle already. But maybe, just maybe, Shonda will remember the rabid devotion Calzona (and previously Callica) fans have lavished on Grey’s and make it an unexpected love triangle. Like, say, Lily lost her longtime college girlfriend in a tragic field hockey accident and then flees to South America where she is comforted by Meena. Meanwhile Meena, who has had a series of relationships with men that never felt quite right (or lasted very long), finds herself unexpectedly attracted to both Manny and Lily. Things get sweaty. Mosquito netting gets tangled. Lots of tank tops are worn. Boom – I’ve just written your first season for you, Shonda. You’re welcome.

In wonder

The other day I was putzing around The YouTubes and landed on some videos for “Wonderfalls.” Ahh, “Wonderfalls.” Every fan of “Pushing Daisies” who never watched this show should drop whatever she is doing right now and run (seriously, make with the hurry) to the store to buy the complete series box set. Go, now. I'll wait. Maybe I'll pour myself a beverage. Speaking of beverages, does anyone drink Tang anymore? Maybe astronauts? Heck, probably not even astronauts anymore. I wonder if you could use it as a mixer? Nah, it'd probably be too gritty. Who wants a crunchy screwdriver... Oh, thank God, you're back.

Look, if you never watched “Wonderfalls” (and that's probably all but five of you since the show only had about a dozen viewers total and subsequently got yanked after four episodes) do yourself a favor and start. Don't let its criminally premature cancellation scare you. Quantity doesn't necessarily equal quality, especially on TV. “According to Jim” just got renewed for an eighth season. Yeah, I rest my case.

What made “Wonderfalls” so wonderful was its deliciously winsome, unrepentantly quirky combination of cynicism, witticisms, mysticism and inanimate talking animals. OK, Caroline Dhavernas helped too. She helped a lot. Like a ton. Like I still harbor an unrequited, Google-her-every-couple-of-months crush on her. Hey, it's not creepy if you never actually come within 500-feet of the person. But, for serious, I would have driven to Niagra Falls to propose marriage to Jaye Tyler if she wasn't already making time with that doofy bartender (and, you know, was real...ahem). I mean, she was exactly my type. Overeducated and underemployed. Add snarky as all get out to that and be still my misanthropic heart.

Heck, every time I hear the jaunty theme song I grin like a lovesick fool. And I forgot the best part (well, besides Caroline), the show had a lesbian and everything in Jaye's sister Sharon. Oooh, oooh, one more thing – are you ready to be jealous?

Yeah, you know you're jealous. Well, at least five of you are.

p.s. Seriously. Go. Watch. Right. Now.