Tank Top Tuesday: TV Time

Between the return of winter TV and the start of pilot season, so much has happened that I think we’re going to need to review the revised landscape with clear-eyed, in-depth, critical analysis. In other words, we’re going to review it with tank top.

Sarah Michelle GellarSMG is coming back to TV. If that doesn’t get you excited check your pulse. If you don’t have a pulse, look out for SMG because she may be coming to stake you. Old habits die hard.

Minka KellyShe’s one of the new Angels on the “Charlie’s Angels” reboot. If the show is a hit, will boyfriend Derek Jeter start playing for Anaheim as a show of solidarity?

Adrianne PalickiPeople agree on two things when it comes to David E. Kelley’s new “Wonder Woman” series. 1) They love Adrianne’s casting as Wonder Woman. 2) They hate the pilot script with a fiery passion.

Zooey DeschanelShe is going to star in a pilot for a project that had the working title “Chicks and Dicks.” It’s hard to think of a title with less appeal to gay ladies, unless you called it “Dicks and Dicks,” but then it’d be a reality show on Logo and I’d totally watch that with several cocktails and my best gays.

Laura PreponI really liked her better as a redhead. But then I guess you have to embrace the peroxide to play Chelsea Handler, and the vodka.

Anna TorvFringe is now on Friday, but mostly I just wanted to post her holding this gun. Mmmm.

Jennifer Beals“The Chicago Code” broke out the white tank top for the very first episode. It’s blatant pandering to the lesbians, and we like it.

Sarah Shahi“Fairly Legal” isn’t a great TV show or anything. But it’s fun and Sarah has showed up in her underwear. So, you know, sold.

Caroline DhavernasI stopped watching “Off the Map” for the same reasons I don’t watch “Grey’s Anatomy.” Doctors with personal problems (with or without borders) just aren’t my thing. But I still love you, Jaye Tyler.

Sofia VergaraNothing new is happening with “Modern Family,” but when you have a chance to post a picture like this, you take it.

So, what new TV pilot or show has your temperature rising. And, remember, please phrase your answer in the form of a tank top.

SGALGG: Sharing is Caring

You know what I love? I love that you guys know me so well. Like, for instance, this photo above. Several people alerted me to this most fantastic Tina Fey-Mariska Hargitay-Sheryl Crow sandwich this week. It warms my heart that you know me so well. Of course, that could also mean I’m predictable. But, if predictable means having women send me a picture of what appears to be Tina copping a feel on Mariska as Sheryl watches approvingly, then color me predictable. Also, extra special Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals-points to Tina and Sheryl for getting a jump on their Lesbian Twin Syndrome wardrobe.

Since you shared with me, it only seems fair that I share with you. So how about some more SGALGG goodness, with a little GGALGG gayness thrown in for good measure.

Dianna Agron & Anna PaquinIf you’re going to SGALGG cheat, picking an actual gay gal is a great way to maximize your jealously factor. Lea Michele must be fuming. Also, you know Anna sneaked a peek.

Frances McDormand & Tilda Swinton
If this was a movie it would be the best acted lesbian movie of all time. Think about it, Hollywood.*

Naomi Watts & Scarlett JohanssonThis one would be pretty well acted, too. Just don’t let anyone get sucked into a blue box that’s a portal to an alternate reality that has darkly lit rooms with rich red curtains and Laura Harring.

Emily Deschanel & friendsI think, as the kids today say, UNF.

Zoe Saldana & Sigourney WeaverIf Sigourney has a thing about breasts, she should explore those feelings with Zoe instead of lashing out at our gal Kathryn Bigelow.

Amy Adams & Zooey DeschanelAccording to Esquire, Zooey is the woman most women want to sleep with. I think Amy agrees.

Olivia Wilde & some lucky SOB

That woman is so close she can probably smell Olivia’s perfume.
I hate her.

*UPDATE: OK, OK, here is the skinny on Tilda and Frances. The photos is indeed a candid. They’re talking (very closely) at the 2008 Toronto International Film Festival premiere of “Burn After Reading.” You can see a progression of them together here.

Vacation Vixen: Zooey Deschanel

I always wanted a big purple crayon like Harold. Some girls have all the luck.

Dog day afternoon

Doggone it, you knew this was coming. After a day of nothing but cat calls, I’ve had to let the dogs out (yes, forgive me, I went there). I had dogs all while growing up. In fact, until I got a cat I considered myself strictly a dog person. So I know that special, unspoken bond between a girl and her dog. Sure, dogs may be man’s best friend, but they’re a woman’s best friend forever. Who’s a good dog? Who is? Who is?

Kate Moennig & FloydVenus Williams & HaroldKatee Sackhoff & MeatballHilary Swank & Karu & friendsLisa Edelstein & Wolf EAmy Adams & Pippy & SadieZooey and Emily Deschanel & KatrinaEllen Page & Patti (*yes, named after Smith)Christiane Amanpour & her newshoundJordana Brewster & one lucky puppyAli Larter & two really, really lucky puppiesGlenn Close & her blogging puppies Jake & BillDid you know Scribegrrrl is practically BFFs with Glenn and her pups? Well, now you do.

Sister act

Oh, Deschanel sisters, Deschanel sisters. You are a glamorous microcosm of sisters everywhere. The older, polished one. The younger, adorable one. I love seeing pictures of them together because, duh, they’re both gorgeous.

But I’m not interested in the naughty fantasy. First, I’m still getting over that first, unsuspecting viewing of “Sister, My Sister.” And second, well, incest is ewww. No, seriously, ewww. Instead, what I like is the obvious affection between them. The closeness, the supportiveness. I’d like to sit with them around the kitchen table and watch that special, often-wordless language only sisters share.

The way Emily instinctually holds her little sister close.

The way Zooey leans unquestioningly on her older sister.

It’s so sweet. It makes me wish I lived closer to my sister. It also makes me really, really hope that Zooey gets to guest star with Emily on “Bones” this season. Make this happen TV gods.

OK, I could be persuaded to get just a little “Flowers in the Attic” at the sight of an Emily, Amy Adams, Zooey sandwich.

Just a little. What? I’m only human.

T-Shirt Tuesday

Baby, it's cold outside – even in California. So in lieu of tank tops today how about some awesome T-shirts? They provide a little more warmth while being no less hot. Plus, we all know how much lesbians love their novelty T-shirts. Don't lie; you own at least one, if not many, many, many more. Portia De Rossi and her sparkly declaration of love and defiance of Prop. 8 is, clearly, awesome. [Hat tip, Anna and Stels!] But, of course, Portia is not the only one who can rock a slogan shirt with pride. A few of my favorites.

Leisha HaileyI knew. I own every single Murmurs CD.

Natalie PortmanFine sentiment meets fine film. Also, love the hair.

Penelope CruzI own this shirt, that's why.

Mary-Louise ParkerHoly hotness, Batman!

Shirley MansonMy sentiments exactly.

Zooey DeschanelIf my name was “Zooey” I'd put it on a T-shirt, too.

Tina FeyLike I could resist.

Ms. Snarker's Favorite T-ShirtFuck yeah, it's ladies night.