Naked Lady Monday: Black & White Edition

Admit it, things seem classier in black and white. So what might look like just a naked lady in color will look like an artistic naked lady in black and white. Such is the power of the monochrome. So then we feel a little better about ogling because, you know, the art and culture and stuff. Just look at Kristin Scott Thomas pulling her best Joan of Arc. That’s not just classy nakedness, it’s historical. Black and white can turn “nekkid” back to “naked.” Wait, is that a good thing? Regardless, a little black and white is exactly what is in order this Monday, to help turn make might otherwise be NSFW into a refined collection of semi-nude portraiture. Or, at least, that’s what you can tell your boss.

Deborah Ann WollI just finished watching season 3 of “True Blood” and Jessica was criminally, criminally underused. Criminally so.

Amber HeardHot. Gay. Hot some more.

Charlotte GainsbourgNo one wears scarves better than French women.

Penelope CruzThe curve of a woman’s back is one of the ways we know we live in a benevolent universe.

Olivia WildeThe round of a woman’s bum is another.

Charlotte RamplingLet’s make it a rule that all women named “Charlotte” need to get naked today.

Rosario DawsonRosario isn’t nude. But she’s not wearing pants either. Totally counts.

Heather MorrisYeah, so no wonder Santana is doing everything she can do to win Brittany back.

EDIT: Whoops, that should be Naked Lady Monday not Naked Lady Woman. Though there ain’t nothing wrong with a naked lady woman. Nothing at all.

Tank Top Tuesday

Sometimes, I don’t have a theme. Sometimes there are just women who look so fucking amazing wearing a tank top that I have to post them. It would be a crime not to. This is one of those sometimes. No deep thoughts, just deeply hot. You know, like our friend Yvonne Strahovski or, more accurately, StraHOTski. You’ve been warned.

Julianne MooreWith both “Chloe” and “The Kids Are All Right” coming out this year, it’s time we had her Honorary Lesbian Hot Plate bronzed.

Missy PeregrymI’m not sure if this is really a tank top. Close enough.

Lisa EdelsteinGod, imagine if the “House” writers had created Cuteen instead of Huddy or, yawn, Snoreteen Foreteen.

Charlotte Gainsbourg

Lady drummers are hot. Always, always hot.

Aishwarya Rai

Hooray for Bollywood.

Malin AkermanI still haven’t seen “Watchmen.” Now I feel doubly bad about this.

Kelly HuI think being able to do this with your leg is illegal in 18 states.

Jena MaloneSomething for the younger folks, since I still vividly remember her playing the child-version of Jodie Foster in “Contact.” But she is 25 now so, you know, daaamn.

Zoe SaldanaTank? Check. Tats? Check. Piercings? Check. Gun? Check. Do you not even care what this movie is about as long as you can see Zoe in her tank with tats, piercings and a big-ass gun? Check.

Tank Top Tuesday

Welcome to around the world in 80 10 tank tops. I was feeling international today, so how about an array of foxy foreigners? Sure, they may all come from different countries, but they all speak the universal language of tank top. It’s a small world after all. Talented Frenchwoman Charlotte Gainsbourg kicks us off up top. For the rest, we’ll start with America’s neighbors to the south and work our way around the old globe. Could I include every country? Sadly, no. But I did try for each continent. Well, except for Antarctica. I don’t think penguins wear tank tops. And now without further ado, grab your passport.

Mexico: Salma HayekColombia: ShakiraSouth Africa: Charlize TheronSpain: Penelope CruzEngland: Kristin Scott ThomasFrance: Julie DelpySweden: Lena OlinChina: Gong LiAustralia: Missy Higgins