Gender Fuck Thursday: Mind the Gap

I wasn’t going to have a Gender Fuck Thursday this week. But then Padma showed up in a suit and tie on “Top Chef” and I had no choice. I am powerless against such hotness. Crippled, even. But Padma’s suiting up also presents an excellent opportunity to talk about fit. In particular, I want to talk about how suits fit if you are, say, a tad busty. Now the thing about suits and menswear in general is, well, they were made originally for men. And men, by and large, don’t have great racks. So when a woman with the aforementioned fantastic phenomena puts on a suit, something happens. Tailoring, therefore, is key. One doesn’t want it to be too loose or too tight. Improperly tailored menswear creates too much unfortunate gapping. Though, admittedly, sometimes gapping is a good thing – a very, very good thing.

Padma LakshmiShe looked like a fancy maître d’. A hot, fancy fancy maître d’.
[SPOILER: Total bullshit about [PKYAGed person] going home, total.]
p.s. In all fairness, I did use SPOILER in the post, people. And I do not have "cuts" on this blog.

Angelina JolieRemember when I said gapping was good? I was not wrong.

Scarlett JohanssonChoice of proper under suit shirt is essential. Well done, Scarlett.

Dita Von TeeseHer tailor deserves a raise, possibly a medal.

Janet JacksonThe double-breasted suit takes on a whole new meaning on ladies.

Maggie GyllenhaalSometimes perfectly avoidable gapping should not be avoided. This is one of those times.

Salma HayekButtoning all the buttons is, admittedly, tricky.

Christina HendricksSpeaking of buttons, I fear for this one’s life. And ours, if we’re standing directly in front of Christina. But, oh, what sweet death.

Gender Fuck Thursday

Beyoncé may have emphatically sung about going “to the left, to the left,” but today is all about the right. No, not the state of being correct or, banish the thought, the political affiliation. I’m talking about the actual physical direction. As in turn to your right. Your other right, Brittany. Hey, not all the themes are deep. But they are hot. So without further ado, all righty then.

Piper Perabo
Monica Bellucci
Dita Von Teese
Janelle Monáe
Tilda Swinton
Kelly Clarkson
Katharine Hepburn
Juliette LewisWell, there’s always a contrarian.

p.s. Hey, tumblesbians. I’m always extremely, extremely flattered when you post my pictures. But, if possible, please provide a link back. Consider it old-school reblogging. In keeping with today’s theme, it’s just the right thing to do. Merci buckets.

Plain White T’s

Well, what do you know? Another article of clothing has hijacked Tuesday. Of course, my undying admiration and adoration for tank tops goes on unabated. But every now and then, a gal just needs to mix it up a little. So today, let’s indulge instead in the uncomplicated splendor of the oversized dress white shirt. Some might call it a boyfriend shirt, I prefer to think of it as an ex-boyfriend shirt – very ex. So simple, so crisp, so delicious. Also, I love anything that unbuttons in the front.

Audrey TautouChristina HendricksLili TaylorNaomi WattsDita Von TeeseKate WinsletWinona RyderKristen Stewart, Blake Lively, Emma Roberts, Amanda Seyfried

Gender Fuck Thursday

Oh, kittens, kittens. Look what madness you have wrought. Another day dedicated to the singular pursuit of The Hot. You asked for it, and now you've got it. Gender Fuck Thursday is here. I've officially added it to the Surrenders vernacular, just for you. Now don't expect it every week, but just like Tank Top Tuesday it will pop up when you need it most. We’re here, we’re queer and we love a woman in a suit. Or a tank top (like Linda “Double Your Pleasure” Evangelista, above). Or anything else that fucks with the traditionally feminine. Mmmm, tasty tasty androgyny.

Evangeline LillyBeyoncéCate BlanchettDita Von TeeseScarlett JohanssonDita & ScarlettOh, that's why they needed the cigarettes.

Puttin’ on the Ritz

Nothing classes up a joint like a top hat. It's Monday, heaven only knows how many cups of coffee you've had. Parts of your body (and I'm not saying which parts, I'm classy like that) are still sore from the weekend. So watch these ladies pull something soothing out of their hats for you. Now if only they were all wearing tuxes and tails, too.

Reese WitherspoonNaomi WattsDita Von TeeseNicole KidmanLiv TylerHilary Swank

So, got a favorite? I must admit, no one wears a top hat like Marlene wears a top hat. Le Sigh.