This kiss

Hey, it’s March. And, now that I lost that hour of sleep, also officially spring. Well, spring in my book at least. All you sticklers for “calendars” and “equinoxes” and “facts” will tell me spring isn’t for a week still. But, you know, close enough. And in spring, a young gay lady’s fancy turns to love. And you can’t have love without kissing. And this leads me to the AfterEllen Mach Madness: Ultimate Lesbian Kissing Championships. We’re already in Round 2, and already there have been some bracket busters in my book. Now, I’m not advocating for any kiss over another. Sweet lesbian baby Jesus, do I not want to start a shipping war. I just want to celebrate kissing, period. Because kissing is, well, awesome. And lesbian kissing is the awesomest. So here are a few of my very favorite pop culture lesbian kisses. Some are still in the championships, others not. But what I want to rejoice in instead is just the joy of kissing. So pucker up. Let’s kiss.

Idgie & Ruth, “Fried Green Tomatoes”

Sure, it’s just a chaste little peck on the cheek. But that split second is the beginning. From that moment on, Idgie would do anything to see Ruth’s smile. And we know it, too. And it’s glorious.

Willow & Tara, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (Entropy, S6E18)

[Starts at 13:28]
This wasn’t Willow and Tara’s first kiss. This wasn’t Willow & Tara’s last kiss. But it was the kiss that showed more than just the love between these two women, which we always knew was there, but the passion. This was that moment that nothing else mattered, and they just had to be kissing each other. Right now.

Alice & Dana, “The L Word” (Limb from Limb, S1E13)

Of course Dana can’t marry Tonya. Of course. Because of Alice. That’s why.

Bette & Tina, “The L Word” (Let’s Get This Party Started, S5E4)

Three words: Hunger. Anguish. Love.

Naomi & Emily, “Skins” (Katie & Emily, S3E9)

Three more words: Hot. Hot. Hot.

Camille & Petra, “When Night is Falling”

When trepidation mixes with wonder, when desire overtakes fear, you have a kiss that speaks volumes while saying absolutely nothing at all.

So, kittens, now it’s your turn. Show me your smooches.

Slip you some Skins

I love this news more than cheese. In fact, I’ve loved it since I was 12 – metaphorically. That’s right muff monkeys, you can now watch the entire first four season of “Skins” UK on Hulu. For free. Right now. This second. Did you not hear me? WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

But, for those able to restrain themselves from ending all of their productivity for the foreseeable future and are still reading, let us discuss why this is such great news. First of all, whenever I write about “Skins,” at least half the comments are: “Where can I watch Skins?!? How can I watch Skins?!?! Will you help me watch Skins immediately so I don’t combust from my all-consuming desire for all things Naomily?!?!?” So here we have the answer. Hulu, my fans of intricately told intense British teen dramas with sophisticated same-sex storylines, Hulu.

Now, at this point I realize some of you are probably like, what is this bollocky wank shite? Why isn’t resident Skins Scholar and esteemed Naomily expert Heather Hogan telling me this news? You’re just a student with a crush. All true. Fear not, I make no claims to the levels of character understanding or narrative analysis as our beloved Heather. And you should definitely pop over to AfterEllen today to get her perspective on this news. (As an aside about the power of The Big Lesbian Phonetree, I actually discovered this news from a tweet from big gay supastar Hannah Hart.)

Right, but back to “Skins” (the UK one, not that American one we’ve all made a unspoken pact never to mention again) and why you should love it like it’s your lobster. The very best thing about Skins is that it’s messy. It’s gloriously, unapologetically, unabashedly messy. It veers from high camp to high drama, sometimes in the same breath. It thrashes about madly, showing off its sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll to anyone within earshot. But like many teenagers, that loud, obnoxious outside hides a raw, hungry inside. Growing up, falling in love, finding ourselves – these are the stories we all understand. We try and we fail and we do the wrong things for the right reason and the right things for the wrong reasons. These stories – for all their brash obnoxiousness – are only human. And we humans are a fucking mess.

All this and I haven’t even mentioned Naomily. Seasons 3 and 4 brought us the singularly amazing and universally relatable characters of Naomi Campbell and Emily Fitch. To be honest, I’m a little jealous of all the people who will now get to fall in love with them for the first time. Because you will. It’s the unstoppable force. Their storyline is one of the most heart-wrenching, most heart-warming, most heartfelt portrayals of gay teen love I have ever seen. And, really, not just gay teen love – but all love. Love is being scared. Love is being brave. Love is fucking up. Love is saying you’re sorry – no matter what that stupid movie says. Naomily is all those things. With oils, and stuff.

In fact, the best and only way to show those who do not know Naomily what Naomily is is just to show you what Naomily is. Now, I realize it’s probably a sin to skip ahead like this. In fact, I advise you to not skip ahead if you already intend to start watching the series. But, if showing you one of my favorite hours of television ever is the only way to get the doubters to watch from the beginning, then so be it. You’ll lose the delicious, complicated, hilarious, harrowing build up. (And, like with any new relationship, isn’t the anticipation almost the best thing?) In fact, this almost seems unfair. Because after watching this you’re sure to be a goner. A goner, I say.

There. Welcome to being in love. Now go forth and enjoy the phase where you drink in everything and anything you can about the other person – and need to see each other every second. Just lock yourself in your room with your Naomily and your Hulu. I’ll see you in about a month.

p.s. Apologies to my non-US friends. Geoblocking is a bitch, I tell ya. Also a bitch? Musical license fees. But Naomily with new music is better than no Naomily at all.

Tank Top Tuesday

You know what’s nice to wear when sailing on a ship? Tank tops. You know what’s nice to see when talking about lesbian “ships?” Tank tops. Life has this beautiful symmetry to it sometimes. Today, in honor of some of our favorite gay lady relationships on TV (maintext, subtext & just the voices in our head varieties), how about a little friendly couple competition? Which pair wears it best? And, to get even more cutthroat, which partner in each pairing wears it best? Total lezzer tank top supremacy awaits, ladies. Choose wisely.

Naya RiveraStill No. 1 in our hearts, minds and pants.

Heather MorrisStill No. 1 in Santana’s heart, mind and pants.

Anna SilkIf you haven’t watched “Lost Girl,” I actually pity you.

Zoie PalmerDr. Hot Pants should always pair them with a tightly fitted tank. Always.

Sara RamirezTank scrubs, think about it Seattle Grace.

Jessica CapshawReally, really think about it Seattle Grace.

Lily LovelessLily, a pint and that smirk – it’s all a growing girl needs to survive.

Kat PrescottThough, of course, a daily supplement of Kat couldn’t hurt either.

Lea MicheleNow this is entirely different kind of “bait girl” look. I approve.

Dianna AgronWearing a tank top is basically the same thing as wearing a “Likes Girls” T-shirt, no?

Angie HarmonThis season on “Rizzoli & Isles,” in addition to wanting more eye sex we should all demand more tank tops.

Sasha AlexanderIsles being a Rizzoli is both confusing and hot. So. Fucking. Hot.

Man, life is just one tough decision after another.

Just ship it

I’m not a superfan. No, wait. Lies. I’m a superfan of you-know-who. (Hint: Glasses. Bonus hint: It’s Tina Fey.) But I’m not a superfan in the sense of internet superfan fandom. Certainly, I am a fan of a lot of shows and a lot of characters and a lot of relationships (both real and imaginary). But I don’t have entire tumblrs dedicated exclusively to them or read/write femslash feverishly about them or join message boards to gab with strangers over them. I’m not disparaging such activities in the least – far from it. I find that level of devotion and inspiration amazing and one of the best things about the internet. It allows us to create and cultivate the communities we care about the most. It’s just that I come from a time when being a young fan meant begging your mom to buy the latest copy of Tiger Beat and then taping a poster of Michael J. Fox to your bedroom door while secretly starring at pictures of Jennifer Connelly from “Labyrinth” and wanting desperately to stroke her pretty, pretty hair.

So I am impressed and awed (and only occasionally frightened) by the fervor of online fandoms, particularly lesbian fandoms. When we invest, sweet Jesus and Mary, do we ever invest. So in the interest of sharing, I want to know yours. What’s your fandom? Now, I realize, you probably enjoy multiple fandoms simultaneously. This is the 21st Century and we’re all consenting adults – at least in our imaginations. But what is your No. 1, most-adored, most-obsessed about, most-likely-to-watch-YouTube-fanvids-until-3am lesbian fandom? Which lady ship – either canon or subtext – makes your heart race the fastest?

To get the conversation started, here are just a very few of the biggies – both past and present.

Tibette, “The L Word”The lesbian power couple, period.

Naomily, “Skins”I loved them from the first time I saw them; I think I was 12.
(Not really, but metaphorically.)

Calzona, “Grey’s Anatomy”Good women in a storm.

Rizzles, “Rizzoli & Isles”Where subtext meets chemistry and has a big, fat, gay baby.

Brittana, “Glee”BFFs forever, with benefits.

Xena/Gabrielle, “Xena Warrior Princess”They don’t even need a dumb portmanteau.

So, share. And remember, this is for posterity, so be honest. (Wait, is there a Princess Bride fandom?)

p.s. Dammit, I just realized this whole thing is a lie. I am a recovering Willow/Tara shipper with the Kitten Board T-shirt to prove it.

Slip me some Skins

You all know I loved the UK “Skins,” or – to put a finer point on it – I loved Naomi and Emily on the UK “Skins.” I loved their characters, I loved their relationship, I loved their journey. I loved it so much I just used the word “journey” and didn’t mean a trip. This is something I’m loathe to do because of its chakras and crystals connotations. Like, “Rainwater Moonbeam, tell me about your personal journey toward actualized womynhood.” No, not for me (not that there’s anything wrong with it…) But the story of Naomi and Emily was indeed a journey. And it was one I was thrilled to go on through all the sweet scooter rides and secluded skinny dips and supply room shags and sobby rooftop confessions. Gosh, now I’ve gone all nostalgic. Who wants to go on a delightful little wallow in Naomily Land with me?

Edited by Rin of Rin & Sophy of Rophy Does.

So it’s with a heaping scoop of skepticism that I approach the new US “Skins.” Not to be all, “British is better,” but – come on – British is better. I don’t think I would have lasted through “Skins” if it was all about US teens. Something about watching American kids just makes me less willing to sit through all the drugging and drunking. Like, why would I watch this when I can go to any high school down the street and see kids crash SUVs while wearing American Apparel T-shirts? Hence, skepticism. But, I’ve decided I want to give it a chance – a real chance. It comes from the same creators and the same of storytelling tradition, so I’ll go along to see if there are stories I’ll care about, like Naomily. Maybe it’ll be Sofia Black D’Elia’s teenage lesbian Tea. Maybe it will be someone else. You just never really know. With “Skins,” the sex, drugs and rock’n’roll are just the hook to entice you, it’s the journeys – yes, both literal and figurative – that really gets you truly addicted.

OK, January 17, impress me.

Oils. And stuff.

To be honest, at first I was the tiniest bit appalled. What is this loud show about these obnoxious teenagers whose lives seem to be an endless blur of getting drunk, getting high, getting fucked, fucking each other and fucking up royally? But then, I kept watching. First impressions are important, but they rarely tell the whole story. Setting a locker on fire at least catches your attention, right? And then, all of a sudden, I knew. I knew that this wasn’t just about kids looking to party, but about kids realizing how weird and confusing and exciting and terrifying and disappointing and beautiful life can right at the cusp of adulthood – and often well thereafter.

So, now, well – I’m a believer. I hadn’t watched “Skins” ever before. Of course I’d heard all about it. Friends had raved about it. Writers had waxed eloquent about it. But I’d never watched, until this weekend. But then, boy, did I watched. I started with season 3, for obvious reasons. I watched the first six episodes all in one setting, finishing just as the sun was starting to make its presence known. Waking up later that morning, was like waking up after having great sex with someone new for the first time. You look over and think, “I get to do this again and again. FUCKING BRILLIANT.” The next night I marathoned the last four, swallowing them whole without bothering to chew. And as we speak (well, I type, you read – semantics), I am using all of my willpower to not make a few clicks and start watching season 4. Oh, that intoxicating first blush of love when you can’t keep your hands off each other.

Skins is so many things: Hilarious, overblown, sexy, fun, heartbreaking, confounding, joyous, randy, poignant, silly, absurd, wise, disturbing, courageous and real. Also, dude, how does every teen in Britain have such seemingly effortless access to weed? But mostly they’re just good stories, spun so well that we can’t help but care what happens to every single one of these obnoxious teenagers.

Gosh, and we haven’t even talked about Naomily yet. I’ve downloaded their episodes to my iPhone and carry them around with me in my pocket everywhere I go. That’s now I feel about Naomi and Emily. I’m not sure I’ve watched another show, another scene on TV that has made my wibbly bits feel all wobbly and then my spirit feel so shattered in a less than three minutes flat. In fact, I’m sure of it. And then the cat-flap. Even if they only existed in that one episode it would still rank as one of the most nuanced, most honest, most amazing portrayals of gay teenagers to be put on screen. “So be brave, and want me back.” Man, is that not falling in love in a nutshell?

Smitten, just smitten.

Watch me now

I have a secret. I am behind. I’ve only officially been back from vacation one day and – bam – already behind. Again. Always. I had the best intentions during my vacation. I brought DVD sets to get caught up on. I made promises to answer email. I really did have the best intentions. I was going to catch up and then be ready. But instead, I spent most of my time playing with my baby nephew, watching Masterpiece Theatre with my mom and generally laying about doing my best bump on a log impression. (Side note: Should we ever meet, ask to see it. I’m very good.)

So now, kittens, I turn to you. Since I can’t properly prioritize my entertainment consumption on my own, I turn to you to help me decide what to catch up on first. Now the email, that’s just going to be catch as catch can. (Another side note: What the fuck does that even mean? Is catch bad at catching?) But the watching, well, here I know you can help a sister out. Currently in my queue I have:

• Catching up on the start of “Pretty Little Liars.” The show started while I was on vacation and, um, I’ve already mentioned that my mom likes to watch Miss Marple, right? I can’t decide if I should give it a shot. But it’s sort of shiny and shallow, with secret girl-girl kissing. How bad could it be?
• Watching “Skins,” like any of it. I have not watched this show, even though I know Naomily is epic. I blame being in America and lazy about watching shows that are not shown regularly on my TV in America. Don’t tell Heather.
• Finishing “True Blood,” the complete second season box set. I love vampires. I love sexy vampires. I really have no idea why I haven’t found the time yet to get through this season. And, yes, I already saw last week’s big WTFityF moment of the current season. Head sufficiently spun. Ahem.
  
• Viewing the “I Can’t Think Straight”/“The World Unseen” DVDs. I won these thanks to your awesome voting prowess. They arrived earlier this month. Every time I want to pop one in to see the ridiculous hotness that is Lisa Ray and Sheetal Sheth, I start to feel guilty because I am so behind on (see above).
• Rewatching everything in the “Cinema Pride Collection.” Ten super-duper gay films in one box set: The Children’s Hour, La Cage Aux Folles, The Birdcage, My Beautiful Laundrette, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, Bent, The Object of My Affection, Boys Don't Cry, Kissing Jessica Stein and Imagine Me & You. As we speak I am fighting off the urge to pop in “Imagine Me & You” and watch the even ridiculouser (whatever, grammar, it’s a word now) hotness that is Lena Headey and Piper Perabo for the 6,001st time. This could be why I am so behind on everything in the first place.

Oh, I also still haven’t watched the second episode of “The Real L Word.” But there’s one instance where I think I’ve prioritized just right. So, tell me what to do. What should I watch first? Go ahead, boss me around. No, not that way. You’ll have to suggest what movie we watch together and buy me dinner for that.