Tina Fey Tuesday

Where my bitches at? Oh, come on, you knew that was coming. Tina Fey’s triumphant return to “Saturday Night Live” this past weekend featured the most bitchin’ feminist rants on the show since, well, since Amy Poehler berated today’s starlets for not having lady gardens anymore. In a genius and succinct stint at the Weekend Update desk, Tina both presented and shot down all the trite arguments against voting for Hillary Clinton.

On post-feminism: “Women today feel perfectly free to make whatever choice Oprah tells them to.” On a co-presidency: “Because that would be terrible, having two intelligent, qualified people working together to solve problems. Ewwh. Why would you let Starsky talk to Hutch?” On not wanting to see an old lady: “Really, they didn’t seem to mind when Ronald Reagan did that.” And, best of all, on the bitch thing: “Yeah, she is. And so am I. And so is this one. You know what? Bitches get stuff done.”

I have it on good authority [hat tip, Lex!] that during rehearsals Tina got her groove thing on between skits with cast members. Oh, to see Tina shake her money maker live. I’m going to need to take a moment. Also, apparently, one of the jokes cut from her Weekend Update bit involved a transgender male-to-female woman who has been hassled on the subway. Tina said the woman was suing the MTA for harassment because she was called “a dyke instead of her proper name, Ms. Fey.”

While the rest of the show was a tad hit-and-miss, Tina’s presence gave the series its strongest rating in two years, not to mention the strong female voice it so often lacks. The monologue? Adorable. The Annuale commercial? Well, the Annuale commercial needs to be seen to be believed. Just hold onto your fucking hat.

God, I could not love her more. I mean it. It’s not even remotely possible. I always knew Tina would be a Hillary backer. And, as Scribe suggested yesterday, I say we hold a special election to crown Tina Queen of the Fucking Universe. Bitch is the new black! Join the movement. Us bitches got to stick together.

p.s. Does anyone else think Tina made this final shot specifically for us, her lesbian fans? I mean, she knows we’re out there. And she is wearing her famous bi-curious shoes. Intentional or not, a grateful nation universe of gay ladies thanks you, Tina Fey. See what I was saying about that Queen of the Fucking Universe thing? Bitches in ’08!

[Hat tip, Tina Fey Daily for the SNL promo card caps!]