Saturday, February 16, 2008

Pre-L: Lesbians Gone Wild

L507: “Lesbians Gone Wild”
Well, I hope all of your collective heart rates have returned to normal after the Tibette Carnival of Hotness (trademark pending) from last week. This week’s Pre-L is all about oil and oily situations. My advice, bring some Wet-Naps.

1. Giggling: The only appropriate way to react to Jenny’s dialogue.2. Meet Jenny Kent, the not-so mild-mannered Super Nut.3. Golf game. Single malt scotch. Officer’s club. Hello, Col. Homo.4. Open a thesaurus, search for synonyms for “View.”5. Is this really how Alice decided to wear her hair on national TV?6. Faux Hasselbeck got an upgrade. What? I’m observant.7. Bette makes her case to be the next Wonder Woman. I’m sold.8. Know your enemy.9. Fun gay?Angry Gay?Which will Alice choose?10. The gay that gets her on television, that’s which one. OK, can I just take a second to say that I truly, truly despise the personality transplant Mama Chaiken & Co. have given Alice this season. Who is this transgender hating, closeted military encouraging, famous person outing, televised fame hunting pod person in Alice’s body and how can we make her leave?11. Man, you could fit a football in that thing.12. I can’t believe Maxim cover girls eat all that crap either.13. Hey……jealousy.14. So, Jodi, how is it with Bette and you?15. More fun with math.++++=Lesson: Never snog at work.

16. Clearly not heeding the above lesson.17. You can almost see the wheels turning.18. Shane brings her A-game. Teacher gives it a D.19. I was wrong. So is this. Yeah, this can’t end well.20. Oh my God, Shane is the lesbian Fonz!21. Dawn Denbo and lover Cindi define the term “oily.”22. Kit know the ABC’s of revenge.23. Am I the only one who thinks this is gross and unsanitary?24. All of a sudden I love crazy Jenny.25. Now this is how Alice should have worn her hair for TV.26. Bring……it……on……bee-yotch!27. Occifer, I’m not as think as you drunk I am.29. Cut. Print. Creepy.

New Guestbian Count: 2
[Kelly McGillis as Colonel Gillian Davis; Danielle Kremeniuk as Lez Girls director of photograph Sam Makavejev]
Best Line: “I enjoy a man with confidence. Makes it all that much more enjoyable when I crush him.” -- Col. Davis
Best Question: “The internet, do we believe it?” -- “The Look” Topic of the Day
Best Way to Make Tibetters Cry: “No, no, no, no. Ex, ex, ex.” -- Tina to Sam when asked if Bette is her girlfriend
Weirdest Way To Respond To “I Love You”: “I’m going to give you a hickey.” -- Jenny to Niki

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