Saturday, February 2, 2008

Pre-L: Lookin’ at You, Kid

L505: “Lookin’ at You, Kid”
You remember that Buffy episode, “Doppelgangland,” where the Scoobies all met their alternate universe counterparts to their dismay and our delight? Yeah, it’s like that. Sure, so no one is a vampire or wearing a leather bustier. Yet. But just keep drinking ladies, it could happen.

1) Meet the Lez Girls (and one het boy):
Shaun (Shane)/CammieAlysse (Alice)/SusanHelen (Helena)/LaurenBev (Bette)/BellaNina (Tina)/GretchenKarina (Marina)/BegoniaKat (Kit)/CherylDonna (Dana)/MarciJim (Tim)/GregJesse (Jenny)/Niki2) If you’re crazy and you know it, raise your hands!
3) Here’s a word you don’t often associate with Bette -- awkward.4) And so is born Perez Pieszecki.5) Not your grandma’s secret ingredient.6) Warning: Never fuck a woman with this on her wall.7) You can’t say I didn’t warn her.
8) Film at 11.9) HeadOn, apply directly to the Jenny!10) I take all talk of awkwardness back.11) The dangers……of human cloning……exposed.12) Two words: Party. Brownies.13) Total buzzkill.14) Déjà vu……all over……again.15) Last one in is a rotten egg.16) Don’t make her angry, you wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.17) Way to visually represent a Michael Jackson song, ladies.18) She ain’t heavy, she’s my girlfriend’s ex-girlfriend.
New Guestbian Count: Way too freakin’ many
Best Line (and my new personal catchphrase): “Oh my God, what if the brownies were gay?” -- Alice
Best Advice: “Don’t listen to her, she wears mom jeans with camel toe.” -- Jenny about Adele
Best Way To Handle Making Out With Your Ex: “Let’s not get all freaked out and weird and manipulative.” -- Tina to Bette
Best Way To Handle An Unsubtle Metaphor: “We’re going to fuck in a closet? / The irony hasn’t escaped me.” -- Niki and Jenny addressing the obvious

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