Dear Milk,
Why do you taunt me so? You know I can't drink you. You know you cause untold pain to my gastrointestinal system. You know cookies will forever be lonely at my house. But now, now you've gone and done it. Now you've made me want to run out to the grocery store and buy a damn gallon of you. Or, more precisely, a six pack. What, you doesn't come in six packs? Well, I must have been thinking of something else. Gosh, but I couldn't think what. Hmmm, this is a stumper. Well, never mind. Though, suddenly I'm terribly, terribly thirsty.
Sincerely,
Ms. Snarker
[Hat tip, Mallory!]
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