Pre-L: Lunar Cycle

L511: “Lunar Cycle”
Hey, Big Mama C, why so serious? Is it, you know, that time? Look, we get it -- lunar cycle. Lady business. Female troubles. Aunt Flow. But did you really have to go and pack four references to PMS in the first eight minutes? I mean, it’s like I’m watching “There Will Be Blood: The Menstrual Edition.” Oh, and let’s not forget all the treachery, deceit, heartache and pain. Sheesh, no wonder they call it The Curse.

1) Gosh this seems familiar.2) A little awkward with your coffee?3) Hey, you think if we joined forces we’d get more lines?4) Bitchy Brunch, party of seven.5) Dawn Denbo and lover Cindi talk majority shares.6) OK, make that a lot of awkward.7) Lesbian Twinsies Syndrome in its last gasp.8) Who do you think wears the pants in this relationship?9) Christ, she cheated on you. Don’t apologize!10) Say it with flowers Blackberry.11) Thank you all for coming, now please bend over.12) Just wait, it gets better once the pizza girl arrives.13) Have we learned nothing from Paris Hilton, nothing?14) So much……for the……afterglow.15) Either you are with me, or you are with the terrorists.16) Terrorist!17) Shit, are pigs flying?18) There’s a new sheriff in town.19) All eyes on the lesbian.20) When really bad ideas happen to really good people.21) Flirt……much?22) The only way to respond to that “Let’s be friends” crap.23) Dude, does anyone else have the munchies?24) The many personalities of Jenny Schecter:
Suicidal.Crazy.Heartbreaking.25) Guilt in a box.26) Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!27) It’s OK, Angelica’s OK. Though throwing it out in the dumpster? Are you going for a bad idea record, Kit?28) The happy family.
New Guestbian Count: 1
[Melanie Lynskey as fashion designer/Alice flirter Clea Mason]
Best Line: “I’m so glad I don’t have to go through that anymore.“ -- Max to Kit while surveying the dyke drama.
Best Fake Line: “They’re like the best couple that ever lived.” -- Fake Alice about fake Bette and fake Tina.
Something I Would Never, Ever Say to a Girlfriend, Even If I Secretly Thought It: “I hope you bleed soon, I really do.” -- Alice to Tasha