Frakking-A

Here’s the thing, I don’t watch “Battlestar Galactica.” Like, at all. Like, ever. No kidding, I haven’t watched even one episode. It’s not that I’m not interested. Outer space. Killer robots. Tough chicks. Heck, what’s not to like? And it’s not like I haven’t already been told by a million folks what a frakking idiot I am for not watching. But it’s just that with three seasons already in the bag and the final one about to start, I simply don’t have the time to catch up. And the thought of playing all that catch up makes me, quite frankly, really tired. There are a lot of show like BSG I probably would love but never started and now -- unless my amount of free time suddenly, magically multiplies exponentially -- won’t get around to in the near or even not-so-near future. Shows like “Lost.” Shows like “Weeds.” Shows like (don’t throw things at me, ladies) “Bad Girls.”

But I really feel like I’m missing out on something with BSG. And not just because of photoshoots like these. OK, fine -- these photoshoots help.So, my dilemma is this -- how can I catch up? Should I go with Option A: Give up what little sleep I still get and marathon the previous seasons so I can watch along with the new season when it starts Friday (yes, I realize mathematically it’s probably impossible to catch all the way up before Friday). Or Option B: Not bother now and when I finally retire at the Social Security-sanctioned age of 95, catch up via a television chip implant which by that time will be as outdated as the 8-track is today but, whatever, I’m an old bitty (’cause I’m also small) biddy and I don’t need that new-fangled stuff.

Or, I perhaps I should just go with Option C: Watch “Battlestar Galactica in 8 Minutes” and then be all set.