Kiss and tell

Dear Out,

Uh, hi. Yeah, I just wanted to say, What The Fuck? Katy Perry? Katy fucking Perry? Katy Perry is your female pick for the most important gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered person to put on your cover for 2008? Katy Perry? Katy fucking Perry? This is a joke, right? What you meant to do was pick an actual lesbian to pose amid the gay men, right? Right?

But instead you've given us the flirting, winking, flouncing straight woman who sang about kissing a girl and hoping her “boyfriend don't mind it.” The woman who called another woman her “experimental game” and said kissing her was “not what good girls do.” The woman whose irrationally catchy song became the anthem for every drunken “Girls Gone Wild” hook-up to an audience of frat boys. The woman who said she has never actually kissed a girl in real life. That woman. Really?

And it's not like there weren't some amazing actual lesbian women you could have picked this year. Rachel Maddow has been in the headlines quite a bit, and I hear that of all things Vogue has taken notice. Ellen DeGeneres got married and found her political voice. Heck, even Lindsay Lohan will at least cop to being “maybe” bisexual and is sleeping with a girl. But this, this is an insult. I could really care less about Katy Perry. If she somehow manages to jimmy out another hit or two, well, good for her. But what I do care about is that you think that Katy fucking Perry was the best GLBT female to put on your cover this year.

I means, seriously, it wasn't even her idea in the first place.

Sincerely,
Ms. Snarker