Loretta Lynn sang about it. Gazillions of straight women used it daily. And it is reason No. 5,682 on the master list of “Why it's good to be a lesbian.” Yes, it is The Pill. Or, if you want to get technical, birth control. My fake girlfriend Sarah Haskins' latest target is birth control and the asinine ads used to sell the stuff.
That's right, heaven forbid an ad for contraception actually concede that people use it so they can have – um, you know – The Sex. [Editor's Note: Sarah + Handcuffs = Meow!] Instead we're meant to believe that birth control is all about period control or acne control or moodiness control. That's right, women have emotions sometimes. Run for your lives!
Since we're all just ladies with simple lady minds, we're supposed to believe this bunk. Well I say they can take their small, comfortable, once-monthly vaginal ring and stick it where the sun don't...oh, wait, that's exactly what they want us to do. Crap.
p.s. I totally want to hear her thoughts on “The Great Gatsby.”
p.p.s. Oh no, it's a battle royal for my heart/funny bone. Who is better at lampooning birth control? Sarah Haskins or Tina Fey? My God, I can't choose. I won't choose! You can't make me!
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