No one knows my hair is a lesbian

Um, whoa. When did Jena Malone's hair become a lesbian? Seriously, after seeing these shots of her at the “Tropic Thunder” premiere earlier this week, the only assumption one can accurately make is that her locks have officially come out and are currently in their rebellious, I-can-get-a-tattoo-if-I-want-to-mom-and-oh-this-is-my-girlfriend-and-we-totally-have-sex phase. Dare we dream that it's more than just her tresses surfing in the Sapphic waters? As reader Moom put it, “When did Jena Malone get so dykey hot?” Now there is a question for the ages. [Hat tip, Moom!]

Of course, our collective hairdar could be off given Jena's recent display of rock star inclinations. Indeed, last year Jena debuted her band Jena Malone and Her Bloodstains. I have to say, I didn't love the band name. It was more ewwwsome than awesome. She has since abandoned the Bloodstains and started the new band, The Shoe, on her new indie record label, There Was An Old Woman Records. Get it, she lived in a...oh, you get it. The Shoe's Myspace page says they sound like, “If you opened a tin box and found a tiny children's circus living inside.” I'm going to go on record and say that if I opened a tin box and found a tiny children's circus living inside I would be mightily freaked out.

But, back to what's really important, namely That Hair. Jena's homosexual rocker tendencies have been building in the last year. A quick peruse of the many hairstyles of Malone reveals a young woman who has kept her stylist in Prada.

Now I've harbored warm, fuzzy, age-appropriate feelings for Jena since her “Bastard Out of Carolina,” “Contact” and especially “Saved!” days. Sweet fancy Jesus, how fucking fantastic was “Saved!”? I am FILLED with Christ's love! Jena has been and continues to be a prodigiously talented actress who I see following in the Lili Taylor school of indie acting. Sure earlier this year she made a pit stop into horror shlockland with “The Ruins.” But, a girl's got to pay the bills, you know.

Speaking of “The Ruins,” Jena attended the premiere this week with her co-star from that film Laura Ramsey. Is it just me, or are they totally working a yin-yang look on the red carpet. Their outfits are mirror opposites. Laura is all goodness and light. Jenna is all darkness and destruction.

What, me, read too much into things? Things like, oh – I don't know, a haircut? Never.

p.s. Thanks, babs, this is indeed a totally honorary installment of SGALGG. Now if only there was more SGALGGy action going on between Jena and Laura. What can I say, I'm a dreamer.