Bone collector

My, Rachel Weisz, what lovely bones you have. Sorry, sorry. The pun was there and I had to take it. It’s a compulsion. I’m seeking help, really. But enough about me, back to the radiant Ms. Weisz. Rachel has signed on to the Peter Jackson-helmed big screen adaptation of “The Lovely Bones.”

The 2002 best-selling novel by Alice Sebold is told through the eyes of a Susie Salmon, a 14-year-old girl who was raped, murdered and dismembered and is now looking down on her loved ones (and her killer) from heaven. Yeah, it was a doozy. Still despite the macabre subject matter, Sebold’s novel was a quietly riveting and calmly reflective read. It even had a lesbian character in the form of Susie’s friend Ruth. I was fully engrossed until the very end when Susie and Ruth pulled a Swayze-Whoopi body swap à la “Ghost.” I mean, I know it’s hard to come up with a good ending, but what the hell?

Anyway, in the film adaptation Rachel will play Susie’s mother. Reports have said that her role will be expanded, since from what I can recall from the book the mother’s presence became more peripheral after she and her husband separated. No word on who has been cast as Susie yet, or whether Ruth’s lesbianism will make it into the movie. Director Jackson has handled gay overtones before in his work, notably in “Heavenly Creatures.” Of course, those girls ended up beating one of their mother’s to death with a brick, sooooo, yeah. But the signing of Rachel definitely classes up the whole affair. Who knows, maybe in the not-so-distant future the Oscars will become a Bone yard. Oh, the puns. Seriously, I can’t help myself.