Worst. Pants. Ever.

Here are three words I thought I would never in my life string together: assless jean chaps. Taken individually, they all could have potential for fun and sexiness. Assless? Well, who can argue with that? Jeans? Great, I happen to be wearing a comfy pair right this very minute. And chaps? Woo hoo, ride ‘em little cowgirl. But taken together they are perhaps the most horrendously ridiculous and stratospherically unsexy thing I have ever seen. I can only imagine what Brooke Hogan was thinking as she pulled those puppies on, being careful not to catch her foot on one of the flaccid, dangling legs and rip it off thereby turning the outfit into a lopsided blue jean garter belt. Which, now that I think about it, would have been infinitely more attractive than actually wearing these insane assless jean chaps.

UPDATE: Since you asked so nicely, here they are from the front. Clearly, they’re idiotic from any angle. No, just no.