SGALGG: Co-Worker Edition

It’s that time of year again for office potlucks and parties. That means hours of awkward socialization with your coworkers and watching your boss get sauced while hit on the receptionist. For the love of God, someone spike the eggnog so we can make it through the holiday season. But informal interactions with your colleagues doesn’t have to be an uncomfortable exercise in stilted small talk. In fact, it could be downright enjoyable. Of course, the level of enjoyability is greatly dependent on who your co-workers are. I mean, these co-workers certainly seem friendly. And when I say “friendly,” I mean like Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. Let Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn, circa “She-Devil” “Death Becomes Her” (mixed up my late 80s-early 90s wacky Meryl Streep comedies) show you the way to workplace bliss. She ain’t heavy, she’s my co-worker.

Alison Brie & Gillian Jacobs, “Community”Alison tweeted that this was her preferred reading position. “Reading,” so that’s what the kids are calling it today.

Maggie Q & Lyndsy Fonseca, “Nikita”Lyndsy looks like she is blushing from Maggie whispering a passage from some particularly explicit Nikita/Alex fanfic she found online. What? I can’t be the only one who ships this, right? I mean, have you seen how many tank tops they wear?

Lena Headey & Summer Glau, “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles”Speaking of tank tops, this show was none too shabby about getting its stars in them whenever possible.

Emily Blunt & Amy Adams, “Sunshine Cleaning”Sure, they played sisters. But that body language isn’t sisterly. Just sayin’.

Blake Lively & Leighton Meester, “Gossip Girl”It’s the old “let’s compare hand sizes”-move. Nice.

Feist & Emily Haines, Broken Social SceneIndie Rock Goddess Powers activate.

Audra McDonald & Anne Hathaway, “Twelfth Night”So much Shakespearean swoon is happening in this picture, it almost needs footnotes.

Chloe Sevigny & Ginnifer Goodwin, “Big Love”Bill Paxton who?

Jill Biden & Michelle ObamaThey make a very nice couple. No, really, I mean that. That look Michelle is giving Jill says maybe she does, too.

Naya Rivera & Dianna Agron, “Glee”Quintana, is that a thing?

Dianna Agron & Lea Michele, “Glee”Now I know Faberry/Achele is a thing. And by “thing” I mean what I replace all Quinn/Sam or Rachel/Finn scenes with in my head.

SGALGG: Amy Adams Edition

So, I’ve decided that I heart Amy Adams. I know, schmuck, what took you so long? The thing is, I’ve always liked Amy. I mean, come on, she was cousin Beth (Remember? Tara’s tightly-wound cousin on Buffy). But it wasn’t until “Junebug” when I realized she was something special. And in each subsequent role I’ve grown more and more “Enchanted.” (See what I did there? Oh, puns.) She picks smart roles with even smarter co-stars. Emily Blunt in “Sunshine Cleaning.” Frances McDormand in “Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day.” Meryl fucking Streep twice, in “Doubt” and now “Julie & Julia.” I think, really, it was the trailer for “Julie & Julia” that put me over the edge. Man, how fun does that movie look? While my adoration for Amy is new-found, I’m clearly the last one to the party given her co-stars blatant SGALGG-y affection towards her. Or maybe it’s just that everyone loves a ginger.

Amy & EmilyCloser to fine, indeed.

Amy & FrancesDo they make a cute couple? You betcha.

Amy & Anne HathawayThey are comparing notes on Meryl, if you know what I mean.

Amy & Elizabeth BanksThey are so about to kiss.

Amy & Sarah LancasterOh my God, she watches “Chuck,” too.

Amy & MerylPossessive……much?

EDIT: p.s. How could I forget her ultimate SGALGG moment from Standing Still? [Hat tip, Natasha Condensada!]

Let the Sunshine In

I want “Sunshine Cleaning” to be good so badly that it makes my teeth hurt. I mean, it's a movie about two women, directed by a woman and written by a woman. It's like we've crossed over into a bizarro version of Hollywood where people actually think women have interesting and important stories to tell. Crazy! So far reviews have been generally favorable. OK so Ebert, The New York Times and Salon didn't love it. But the San Francisco Chronicle, Los Angeles Time and – most important – The Linster all gave it the big thumbs up.

So, now, besides my obvious interest in supporting a woman-centered, woman-created project like “Sunshine Cleaning,” the story about two sisters who start up a crime scene clean up business seems all sorts of interesting. And the cast? Come on, Amy Adams, Emily Blunt and Mary Lynn Rajskub (who also happens to play a lesbian). And thanks to Linster, I now am all a tingle about the prospect of a Emily and Mary Lynn candy necklace encounter.

Really, my only disappointment so far is that Amy and Emily play sisters. The whole sibling thing makes me feel a little weird about all the fantasy sequences in my head. Ahem.

SGALGG: Award Season Edition

I love award season. First, you get to honor amazing actors for outstanding work. And second, dude, women in beautiful dresses. Hello. But, even better than a lady in a nice frock is a lady in a nice frock acting frisky with another lady. Oh, kittens, you know where I am going with this. In honor of last week's Oscar nominations, here is a look at the Best SGALGG nominees so far this awards season. The competition is fierce. And by fierce, I mean hot.
[Click any and all to enlarge for, you know, judging purposes.]

Most Insistent: Robin Wright Penn & Kate WinsletRobin really, really wants to get a little closer to Kate.
Can you blame her?

Best Couple: Amy Adams & Emily BluntWhat? In my head they're totally a couple. (p.s. I can't wait for “Sunshine Cleaning.”)

Luckiest S.O.B. Ever: Dude between Olivia Wilde & Angelina JolieThis guy is inches away as Olivia and Angelina are about to touch. Five bucks say he jizzed! in! his pants!

Best Kiss: Anne Hathaway & Rosemarie DeWittDear Anne: Brokeback for lesbians. Think about it.
xoxo, Ms. Snarker.

Most Blatant Checking Out of the Merchandise:
Eva Longoria & Rosario DawsonRosario, honey, her eyes are higher.

Best “Oh My,What Are You Doing With Your Hand?”: Meryl Streep & Penelope CruzA little down. Now to the left. Oh yeah, just like that.

Most Mommy Issues: Jessica Lang & Drew BarrymoreSure, they play mother-daughter in “Grey Gardens.” But if men can do May-December, then so can SGALGG.

Best Recruitment Material: Christina HendricksFine, so there isn't another gal to act gay with Christina. But, come on, if just seeing that doesn't make every straight gal on the planet question her sexuality, well, nothing will.

Naked Lady Monday

It’s back! Yes, Naked Lady Monday is back. Totally, totally back – well, make that backs. Maybe I should have called it Naked Lady Backs. Today we celebrate the female back in all its divine poetry. I could follow the elegant slope of a woman’s back forever. In fact, if there is a heaven, that would be what I want mine to look like. Just one long, delicious curve that ends in nirvana. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, the female back is my second favorite part of the female body. Why? It’s just damn sexy. Period.

Emily BluntAnna FrielNicole KidmanKate WinsletLiv TylerMonica BellucciVanessa Paradis[Click any, all to enlarge. Hat tip, Sinful-Caesar for the yum.]

My Weekend Crush

Emily Blunt is simply lovely. She has a quality about her that -- at first glance -- might come off as aloof, regal, perhaps even cold. But underneath is something smoldering with just a hint of wickedness. Delicious, delicious wickedness. Add to that the fact that she is wickedly funny and, well, hello smitten kitten. I remember being mesmerized by her aristocratic beauty in “My Summer of Love,” her character’s chestnut hair and refined features belying a boredom and cruelty that comes from too much money and too much free time. Then when I saw her again in “The Devil Wears Prada” she was an entirely different creature. A creature with stiletto-sharp wit and comedic briliance that managed the seemingly-impossible task of stealing scenes from the great Meryl Streep. Now comes word that she is in a new film with lesbian undertones (“Sunshine Cleaning” about sisters who run a crime scene cleaning business where Blunt’s character becomes obsessed with another woman), which means she is not afraid of the lady loving. Add to that the hand holding with Anne Hathaway at the Oscars and, well, I’ve already mentioned the smitten kitten stuff, right? Happy weekend, all.

See Jane Review

Hey folks, I reviewed “The Jane Austen Book Club” at AfterEllen.com today. If you’re so inclined, check it out. Otherwise my two word review: pleasantly predictable.

Pride & Lezjudice

Hello, how did I not know there was a lesbian storyline in “The Jane Austen Book Club?” (Clearly I haven’t been reading Best. Lesbian. Week. Ever. closely enough.) I checked out the trailer yesterday and had a “My God, did I just see two women in the tub?!” moment where I thought I had on my gay goggles and was imagining a Sapphic scenario. But, no, later in the trailer, bam!, unmistakable girl-girl goodness. Don’t you just love it when lesbians pop up in the most unexpected places? (Innuendo intended, it’s just so much more fun that way.)The film (opening Sept. 21) is an adaptation of the best-selling book by the same name about five women and a man who gather to discuss Jane Austen’s fiction and realize their lives are like a 21st century version of her novels. The cast looks great: Maria Bello (love her!), Emily Blunt (her, too!), Amy Brenneman (ditto, et al), Kathy Baker and Lynn Redgrave. Lost’s Maggie Grace (don’t know her, but I’m sure I’ll find a way to love her) plays Allegra, the lesbian daughter of Brenneman’s character. Heck, I don’t even care that she is named after an allergy medication. I just care that for about four seconds in the trailer she plays doctor with her girlfriend. You saw the stethoscope, right? I know I did.The trailer looks pretty good. It mixes lightness and laughs with lust and loneliness without even a smidge of the “we are mysterious creatures aren’t we”-pretentiousness wafting through the trailer of that other film out now with a killer ensemble cast (Yes, “Evening,” this means you). Plus, it’s a whole movie about a bunch of women who read books. Hell, what’s not to love?

(Not So) Live Blog of the Gay Oscars

Hollywood’s biggest night went off without a hitch (unless you count Celine Dion’s inexplicable musical number. Why must you punish us so?) Yes, Marty Scorsese finally won his Oscar and Al Gore can now add “Oscar winner” to his titles along with “Almost President.” But, let’s cut the filler and get straight to the gay stuff. A chronological recap of the night’s most queerrific moments:

5:37 PM: Ellen emerges wearing a red, velvet tuxedo. She then quips in her monologue: “If there weren't blacks, Jews or gays, there would be no Oscars.” 6:26 PM: A dance troupe will be interpreting the best picture nominees, among others, through the night. That’s pretty gay.
6:33 PM: Melissa Etheridge sings her nominated song “I Need to Wake Up,” which is perfect since the Randy Newman/James Taylor number before put me into a coma.
6:35 PM: Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio talk about the “Green Oscars.” I just thought the gay boys might appreciate a shot of Leo. And, for the bears out there, Al. 7:00 PM: Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt come out to present holding hands. My naughty fantasies now come with real, live visuals. Then, they give the costume design award to a lady wearing a suit and little tie. She thanks her husband, but it’s too late and she has now been added to a new fantasy sequence. 7:10 PM: Ellen works the crowd in a white tux. Gets Steven Spielberg to take a picture of her and Clint Eastwood for her Myspace page, thus proving that the internet is - indeed - gay.
7:29 PM: Cate Blanchett and Clive Owen come out, finally giving gay men and women a presenting duo they can enjoy equally. 8:20 PM: Jennifer Hudson wins for Dreamgirls. I know she’s not gay, but she was in a musical and I’m happy for her.
8:30 PM: Queen Latifah and John Travolta present Melissa the Best Song Oscar. I’ll let you decide how many in that trio are gay… Melissa kisses Tammy on the way up and then thanks her and their four children in her terrific speech: “Wow, that feels as good as you think it does.” It feels good for us, too, Melissa. 8:40 PM: Kate Winslet. Just Kate Winslet, le sigh. 8:45 PM: Jodie Foster introduces the In Memoriam segment. Oh Jodie, Jodie. Come out, honey. Everybody knows. 8:50 PM: Ellen changes into a blue tuxedo. She has now worn red, white and blue suits. She’s an All-American girl, get it?
8:55 PM: Helen Mirren is the queen of the Oscars. My love for her is unending. She can now drop her fries.9:15 PM: A drop-dead sexy Diane Keaton comes out with a drop-dead scary Jack Nicholson and gives Marty his Oscar. I’m happy for Marty, but I want to see more Diane. A lot more.