Girls do make passes at girls who wear glasses

So, I still can’t stop thinking about those smart girls. If there is one accessory that almost automatically adds points to a woman’s IQ, it’s a nice pair of glasses. Give a gal with glasses a book (particularly a book about kissing, like Mia Kirshner above) and be still my big nerdy heart. Now, as some of you might remember, I’m a glasses wearer. I wear contacts most of the time, but I’ve always got my specs on in the evening to write and watch TV and hang about the house. As a kid, I wore glasses full-time – big clunky things that for some incomprehensible reason covered more of my cheeks than my actual eyes. Seriously, were we trying to look through some heretofore unknown fourth eye with those enormous hubcap lenses in the 80s? Back then they used to say “Guys don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses.” But that was before the whole sexy librarian thing really took off. And now, well, I still can’t speak for the guys, but this gal sure likes making passes at girls who wear glasses. In particular, these gals. No need to take your glasses off and shake out your hair, ladies. I mean, feel free to shake out your hair, but definitely keep the glasses on while you do it. Here’s looking at you, four eyes.

Mary-Louise ParkerBig brown eyes behind big brown frames make my knees weak, instantly.

Cate BlanchettBlue eyes behind blue frames ain’t half bad either.

Shirley MansonOf course, gingers can wear whatever color frames they want.

Angelina JolieAnd then sometimes you don’t need any color at all, just the world’s most expertly arched eyebrow.

Anna TorvEverything in this picture works for me. Glasses. V-neck. Ponytail. Laptop. Books. Heck, I even like the lamp.

Padma LakshmiEverything in this picture works for me, too. Plus, I know Padma could cook me an amazing dinner afterwards. And then we’d talk shit about Tom Colicchio.

Sarah ShahiNow that’s what I call a nice pair – of glasses.

Helena Bonham CarterThis whole ensemble is crazy. But crazy good, not crazy Bellatrix Lestrange.

Rachel MaddowOh, to have her look over her Clark Kent glasses and talk dirty, dirty politics to me.

Tina FeyOh, please, like I wasn’t going to include her.

Marlee Matlin & Jennifer BealsThis is them, the insane hubcap-sized glasses we used to wear in the 80s. Of course, they look fine on Marlee and Jennifer. Whatever, I’m not jealous. Though, we probably shouldn’t talk about the hair.

Oh, and one other sexy thing about glasses? When things get steamy, so do they.

My Weekend Crush

Back when I first saw Marlee Matlin in “Children of a Lesser God,” I remember being impressed. How could you not be? In her film debut she pretty much blew the doors off in a raw yet vulnerable performance that earned her an Oscar at the age of only 21. Through the years she has worked steadily. She had her own TV series for two seasons, “Reasonable Doubts,” and regular roles on “Picket Fences,” “The West Wing” and – of course – “The L Word.” While at times Jodi Lerner was a difficult character to like (like all of the sixth season), Marlee is immediately likable. Energetic, passionate and resolute, she has a positive outlook that can be infectious. Marlee reminds us that our limitations are not our limits. Yes, a deaf actress can go on “Dancing with the Stars” and not just do well, but be impressive. Marlee also continues to champion causes she believes in from The Children Affected by Aids Foundation to Red Cross (which she has been promoting heavily along with other relief efforts for Haiti on her Twitter feed). All that and she got to make out with Jennifer Beals. Like I was saying, impressive. Happy weekend, all.

L Word redux

Now that a month and a half has passed since The L Word season ended, I feel I can finally look back at it without feeling abject horror/extreme sleepiness. It’s not that I thought the season was a horror, per se, but it’s just those goddamn Pre-Ls are a fucking pain in the ass to write. Seriously, after the season ended I was feeling a little posts-traumatic stress disorder (get it, posts…I know, ugh). My malaise could only be cured by prolonged vegging out in front of the television while I fought the urge to a) take notes and b) make screencaps. But now, after arduous rehabilitation and a CSI marathon, I feel I can begin to post again about the Ladies of The L.

So here goes. I’m going to ease back in nice and slowly with some pictures of what the ladies have been up to since the season finale. However, if I start having flashbacks, please put me in a dark, padded room for my own protection.

Jennifer Beals and Laurel Holloman at the GLAAD Media Awards.I swear, if those two get any hotter it will be illegal in three states. A few of you wrote in consternation over Laurel’s loose-waisted shift dress. Could this mean Tibette will be expecting next season? Well, since Laurel and her husband just adopted a baby girl, I’m going to go out on a limb and say no. Sometimes a shift dress is just a shift dress.

Marlee Matlin at a Dancing With The Stars party.Is it me or is Marlee relapsing into her L-ways with that hug? It’s a little, um, close.

Rachel Shelley on the cover of Diva magazine.Holy fucking hell. That is all.

Rose Rollins on the cover of Curve magazine.Holy fucking hell, those arms. That is all.

OK, now I think I can transition into video. Interestingly, all the women are guest starring on CBS shows. And CBS owns Showtime. Nah, there can’t be a connection.

Erin Daniels on CSI: NY.

I watched this live and was pleasantly surprised when Dana Erin popped on screen. I love that she’s all tough and kinda bitchy. And the pantsuits. Yum.

Kate Moennig on CSI: Miami.

Jet skits, lime-green bikinis, murder. Shane, girl, you’ve changed.

Rachel Shelley on Ghost Whisperer.

I’ve only watched this show once and was distracted from the story by Jennifer Love Hewitt’s cleavage. I think that might have been the point. Part II is here, by the way.

And now, I think I can deliver the coup de grace. Seriously, get comfortable and find your happy place.Jennifer Beals (with an assist from Alexandra Hedison, Ilene Chaiken and Daniela Sea) at the V to the Tenth Vagina Monologues celebration in New Orleans.

I could kill for clearer video. And also for Jennifer’s boots. She’s wearing fishnets, by the way.

Doctor, I’m cured. Is it January yet?

Oscar’s ladies

It only took them 80 years, but the Academy finally gave an Oscars to a woman with a pin-up girl tattoo. Fuck, yeah! the 80th annual Oscars telecast was filled with many worthy winners, a few surprises and countless pretty ladies, painted and otherwise. Overall, I was rather pleased with this year’s crop of honorees. Sure, I was pulling for a big “Juno”-shaped upset. But in the acting categories I couldn’t fault any of the winners. All of their performances were mesmerizing. While I was rooting for Julie Christie, Marion Cotillard made me fall in love with her all over again with her effervescent acceptance speech. And who knew that besides being an arresting-looking woman and having an incredibly eclectic taste in films, Tilda Swinton had such a dry and delicious sense of humor?

Look for my complete breakdown of this year’s ceremony -- complete with tons of pretty, pretty pictures -- over at AfterEllen today. But for now, how about we just revel in the night’s Wishful Lesbian Thinking moments? Sadly, there weren’t too many actual lesbian moments. Though (straight) filmmakers Cynthia Wade and Vanessa Roth did win Best Short Documentary for “Freeheld” about a lesbian couple’s fight to win survivorship benefits.

Sarah Polley & Julie ChristieLe sigh.

Penelope Cruz & Cate BlanchettOh, to be a fly on that wall.

Helen MirrenLeave it to that Dame to find a stripper pole on the red carpet.

Marlee MatlinHey, where’s Bette?

Ellen & PortiaFinally, a couple we don’t have to be “wishful” about.

Click on over to AfterEllen later today for more Oscary goodness.

You take the good, you take the bad

You remember the “Facts of Life” theme song? Well, it kept going through my head as I looked at the pictures from “The L Word” premiere party Sunday in West Hollywood. Though, perhap I should have been humming the theme to “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.” A recap of my thoughts, minus expletives:

Dear……God……this……is……so……wrong.

Though……conversely……this……is……so……right.
p.s. Hey, E! Planet Gossip guy, when did Kate Moennig become openly gay? Anyone? Did I miss a memo? See, this is what happens when I go on vacation.

LOLlesbians: My bologna has a first name

It’s Friday. You’re tired. I’m tired. You can’t read one. more. thing. So instead I give you the endlessly yummy Marlee Matlin and Mary-Louise Parker to feed all your naughty “I Can Has Lezbeanz” dreams. (hat tip Laura, for the LOLspiration!) Oh to be the Oscar Mayer to their Wonder Bread. The only question now is mayo or mustard? Also, you may want to consider a bib. ‘Cause, dude, you’re drooling. Bon appétit.

Pre-pre-L: Three in, one (hopefully) out

As you might have already read over at Ye Olde AfterEllen Blog, Showtime announced that Jodi, Phyllis and Tasha will return for another season of talking, laughing, loving, breathing, fighting, fucking, crying, drinking, writing, winning, losing, cheating, kissing, thinking and dreaming on “The L Word.”

Marlee Matlin will be back to bring the battle for Bette’s affections we all know is coming to fruition, and this time she has been upgraded from guest star to series regular. Oh, it’s on! Season 5 is going to be all, “Oh, no you di’int, Jodi!” “Bring it, Tina!” At some point, and I’m not proud of this, I hope we get a little hair pulling. Cybill Shepherd will be back again as a guest star. What I think this means is that Phyllis will again be relegated to brief moments of over-the-top cheese and/or clunky plot exposition (seriously, can she possibly speak more of Bette’s subtext out loud?). Which is good -- when it comes to Phyllis, less is so much more.Rose Rollins will be back as Alice’s soldier girl (no word on whether she’ll be back from Iraq as well). This, of course, only makes sense since otherwise it would be the most dangly, most glaring of loose ends in the show’s long line of dangling, glaring loose ends. This also makes me all sorts of happy because Alice and Tasha together are cuter than a bowlful of kittens. But, possibly the best news is the news that isn’t here. No word on Janina Gavankar, which probably means that Papi will not be back to torture us with her playa posturing and bad hats next season. This can only mean that there is a God, and she loves lesbians.

EDIT I: Yes, yes, it’s an “i” not a “y” in Jodi, my bad. I will go flog myself with a dictionary (which of course is no help with randomly cutsie spellings of names anyway). But seriously, with the rapid and inexplicable growth of the cast of late, who can keep up with all the spellings of all the revolving characters? And who adds two new characters in one season and ends both their names with an “i” anyway?
EDIT II: Well, this certainly hasn’t been one of my more successful posts. First, I misspell the name of a character I’ve spelled correctly all damn season, then I have people on message boards rejoicing in another typo. For the record, I have no problems with Janina, she seems like a very nice young woman. But I have all kinds of problems with the one-dimensional writing that turns her into a caricature that’s all swagger, no soul. Anyway, this serves as another reminder why I shouldn’t post so late at night. Yes, folks, those time stamps are correct. And also part of the reason my sentences on occasion look like they were typed by monkeys with hammers. The other reason, of course, is that I am an idiot. Sigh.

My friend, my lover

Sure Jennifer Beals and Marlee Matlin are steaming up TV screen right now as Bette and Jodi on “The L Word,” but did you know the actresses have been good friends since the 80s? In a joint interview with TV Tattler, the women talked about the show, what it’s like to kiss an old friend and even Kristanna Loken’s recent claims of cattiness on set. Some highlights:

• Jennifer didn’t suggest Marlee for the role of Jodi because “they don’t listen to anything I have to say.” Well, that explains the Bette/Tina storyline meltdown.
• Jennifer said sex scenes with a friend are not so sexy. “Oh, it’s horrible. We laugh hysterically the whole time. It’s horrible, it’s horrible. I try to be professional, and she looks at me and gives me one little look of mischief and we just lose it, and it takes forever to shoot.” Suuure, that’s why it takes “forever.”
• Marlee asked if Jodi could be named after a lesbian friend of her’s who passed away. “I thought it would be nice to honor her, and they were more than open to it. Most television series would never do that.”
• Marlee said Kristanna’s comments about the L Word being “the most difficult cast” she had ever worked with were based around her problems with a specific cast member. “I’m sorry she expressed her feelings to an interviewer, when it was an experience she had on a one-to-one basis with someone. It’s a great show, and for me it was a wonderful experience.” So there, meow.

Dr. B and the Women

Guestbians Ahoy! Say hello to new The L Word cast members Marlee Matlin and Cybill Shepherd. The actresses will play new women in Bette Porter’s world. Cybill is Bette’s new boss at the University of California. Marlee is “a fiery artist who catches (Bette’s) attention.” Is it just me or does this shot of the ladies clustered around Jennifer Beals look, well, off. It’s a little too Dynasty meets Photoshop for my taste. Oddly stiff and shiny photo aside, I am still (rather impatiently) counting the days until the January premiere of season four. As uneven and at times crappy as season three was, a new year means a new start. And, let's face it, it's lesbian required viewing. Though, the confused folks over at Showtime seem to think it's contagious, since in their eyes (and new promo) everyone is a lesbian. If only.